Looking for answers to life's questions

Archive for October, 2011


I’m handing out candy to the neighborhood kids dressed as the scary lady on the corner. I don’t need a costume. 20 months ago I woke with Bells Palsy and the left side of my face paralyzed. It’s somewhat better than it was then. But once I say “Boo” the kids turn and run or they hug their parents closer. No one wants to ask what happened. Most think it was a stroke. Halloween isn’t my favorite holiday. We were Army brats and some of the places we lived just didn’t do Halloween. It was always for little kids and when I was 13 I had to go trick or treating for my little brother who was in the hospital. He had pneumonia from drinking paint thinner. I had to explain to every person whose door I knocked on that the candy was for my little brother. I never went again.  I notice that I somehow also don’t enjoy watching the bigger kids come to the door. They get so big I’m actually afraid of them. When my kids hit that age, I started having parties at home for them. They had plenty of junk food and it kept them off the streets. My dad died on Halloween. No one realized what day it was at first. Halloween lost its charm that year. I don’t have grandchildren so I haven’t found a way to bring back the fun. This year I’m at my son’s house for Halloween. He’s been here for 3 years and never passed out candy. He has no children so why would he. Then I noticed 4 of the neighborhood kids in the driveway calling him by name as he fixed a bike tire for one of them. The kids in the neighborhood know him so there must be candy. I bought lots of it. Maybe there is a way to put some of the charm back in an old relic of a holiday after all? How do you have fun on holidays without children?  I’ll try not to let my crooked face and cane scare them too much.

From my heart to your heart

In search of joy