It’s Christmas Eve day and all the shopping is done. Wasn’t hard this year since my family is so much smaller and so is my supply of funds. The few presents are beautifullly wrapped thanks to my wonderfully talented daughter who make each gift a work of art. The only thing I actually had to wrap was the one gift I purchased for her. We’ve completed the baking and passed out the the customary banana bread to the mail, UPS, and FedEx delivery people as well as the plumbers. Cookies went to work to cheer up co-workers as everyone gets through their final days of overload. Our holiday guests have been transported to unfamiliar shopping areas and local area attractions for their entertainment. Local does not mean close by the way. We drove 2 hours to take my niece horseback riding since that’s what most 12 year old girls live for. Another 45 minutes to the town of Solvang that was already packed with people from all over the world. It’s been a good 15 years since my last visit and I wanted to see it all but we arrived late in the day and everyone was already tired from the ride. 3 of us were using canes. Not the candy variety. There were plenty of decorations and lots Christmas items in the stores. But something was missing and I think it was in me. I don’t have the enthusiasm for Christmas I once had. Each year it feels somewhat off; begging me to do a different Christmas. How can I disappoint my family? I want to buy or make gifts only for those who really need things. Other than somewhere to live of my own, I need nothing and most of my family has enough as well.
This seems to be a time of great transition. The year 2012 is fast approaching and I firmly believe it’s going to require us to rethink everything we know. It will be the end of life as we know it, not the end of the world. Of course, it will be the end of someone’s world as it is each day. I’ve been experiencing great transition in the last 2 years. I’ve had 2 more Christmas seasons that were wonderful in their own way but really, really want more of that something different. I’m sure once my health is restored, I will have the energy to carry that out. I’m praying that at the end of 2 years, Bells Palsy will be done with me and I can get on with it. Finding my Christmas Spirit could help the wellness arrive.
I’m thinking there are lots of you that feel the same way about the holiday. Maybe some of you have even made the change and found new ways to express your Christmas Spirit. I’m open to your input on the ways you have made those changes. How do we once again keep some of the old and do something very new? I love the spirit of Christmas and want that spirit every day. It’s easier when there are little ones around but what about those of us who have no little ones. Putting a toy in a donation bin just doesn’t do it for me. I’ve even picked the name off a tree and filled a wish list. There is no human connection there. No eyes lighting up with wonder and joy. I’ve donate and helped much in my lifetime but there is something about that spiritual connection that is so necessary. That Spirit of Christmas is what I’m looking for again. That part of the holiday that feeds our soul and doesn’t drain our energy. Tell me how you get that. I’m looking forward to hearing from you.
From my heart to yours,