Looking for answers to life's questions

I have accomplished a lot in the last year. Some days it didn’t look like anything had changed. But everything has changed. I’m not completely well yet but I fully expect this New Year to bring that about. In the last year I have gone through a very difficult though necessary divorce. My daughter and I held my precious fuzzy companion of 11 years as her pain and her life left her. I moved in with my daughter and then we both moved in with my son. That’s giving us both the opportunity to readjust our lives. I’m waiting for my house to sell so I can buy another in an area more suitable for my life
I loved a lot of things about my house and the area it’s in. I especially loved all my friends that had to be left behind. They were friends like I’ve had nowhere else in the world. But I needed something different and being unable to drive has shown me that I need a different kind of community. Letters and phone calls aren’t the same as hugs and lunch.

Financially, it’s been a tough year for most of us but I’ve seen it as an opportunity to see what’s really important. I’ve survived a year and a half with all my STUFF in storage. Every year I say I’m going to get my health, wealth and weight under control. Every single year!! I’m still up to my cheeks in alligators financially and 40 pounds heavier physically. How does that happen? Good intentions followed by a lot of maybe later would be a good place to look.

The New Year brings up a lot of hope and trepidation. The predictions are ominous. Carolyn Myss says we are going from the Fossil age to the Energy age. I read everything she writes. We all know things are changing and many of us are trying to prepare for those changes. Many of us can’t handle change. You can’t grow without it so you get to choose to flow with it or fight it. I’m still for rowing my boat downstream; following the current and try to avoid the rocks but enjoying the ride. It’s an exciting trip if you want to look at it that way. My illness was a way to let me see I’d hit a big rock and it was time to get back in the smoother part of the river.

This ride through life can be tedious, exhausting, frightening, and yet it can be fun and joyful. But it’s definitely too hard if you do it alone. So I found books. Lots of them and they all have a tiny gift. I get daily motivational tips from Daily Om, Neale Donald Walsch, Nightingale Conant. I have wonderful friends and family members send great tidbits or post wonderful banners with sayings on their Facebook page to uplift me. They are my life preserver. I have a friend that is so upbeat in the most adverse of conditions that it feels like I’ve just been showered with a rainbow when I talk to her.

Then there are others who do nothing but complain about how hard life is and when you throw them a life preserver, they throw it back at you and keep on complaining. After an encounter like that, I’m looking for another life preserver for myself. I felt the same cranky way the first time someone offered me Byron Katie’s book “Loving What Is”. I tossed (threw) that one many times before finally realizing she had something I needed. I don’t have the answers but I know where to start looking for them. I read some of Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hanson’s book “Mastering the Law of Attraction” or “Going Bonkers” magazine. I download those to my Kindle so I always have something uplifting with me everywhere. I have a Kindle, a Kindle app on my phone, on my laptop and Kindle in the Cloud. So I have always got at least 4 books going at once. There are plenty of hardcover books next to and in my bed. With the dog gone, I needed something to take up that space. I really miss that dog.

This New Year will be like the rest in many ways. Full of lumps and bumps, celebrations and quiet moments. I hope mostly to grow this year. To be a lot better at anything and a little bit better at everything. Letting people I know that I care about them instead of keeping it to myself will be at the top of my list. I ASS U ME they know. This illness along with aging has left some large gaps between thinking and doing. I’ll do better next year is my motto. I’ll give it my all. I wish for you all a better New Year in every way.

From my heart to yours,


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