Looking for answers to life's questions

It’s moving day. I can’t begin to express how excited I am. Except for a short period of 7 months, I have been without “home” for 2 years and 10 days. It’s my own choice of course. There are many reasons to be home-less. I may even consider it again at some point in time which is what makes apartment renting somewhat attractive.

Originally, I preferred to try to purchase something small so I wouldn’t have to do this move thing again. The house in Arizona hasn’t sold so purchasing one isn’t an option right now. It’s expensive to move, to say the least and time-consuming. Pack it up, then unpack it, then pack it up again. I’m really good at it if you need help with your move. I was bragging to someone yesterday that when my last husband and I moved from California to Arizona, I packed and moved 40 thousand pounds worth of our “stuff”. Books weigh a lot. The only thing that broke was something I had not packed myself. We had a yard sale before that move, selling $3,000 worth of “stuff”. That’s not counting what I talked him into giving away.

I wanted to simplify our lives only to wind up with more of the same. My move to Oregon, alone, was with a rented 26 foot truck. Now I will live in 1000 square feet rather than 3000. At 64 years of age, that’s enough to take care of while having the time to pursue more creative endeavors.

After spending over 50 years cooking, cleaning and caregiving, which I thoroughly enjoyed, I have reached the point where I want my home to be a place of comfort for myself as well as my guests. Now, I think that can finally be done. I have learned in the last two years to say NO. Doing it my way is now an option. I can put up my favorite artwork where I want to see it. The lights can be on when I want them on because I’m paying the bill. I can have my windows open for fresh air. That’s why they invented quilts, isn’t it?

What makes your residence a home? I have moved over 30 times in my life so home is almost a foreign concept. Is it a place you park your “stuff”? Can it be more than that? Especially if it’s an apartment and not a home you own. My grown children don’t even have that sense of “home”. We moved quite a bit when they were young though my daughter went through school in almost one neighborhood. Home was not the comfort zone I had hoped it to be.

My daughter said a home is the place that reflects your inner self and nourishes the soul. In doing so it helps you to heal. My last apartment was small, dark and a bit chilly but it gave me time to do nothing but heal. As many people as I manage to talk to, no one has ever heard of Bells Palsy manifesting in the way it showed up for me.

I’m hoping to make new friends to invite to my home; where we can share ideas and laughter. Maybe teach a niece or two to sew, quilt or embroider. I’m looking forward to finding out what my Style is. Of course, it appears to be what I’ve scrounged from here and there but soon my real style may surface. How did you discover your style? I’ve been looking on Pinterest for mine but can’t seem to duplicate what I think I like at the thrift stores. I’ll keep looking though.

My new place has a nice “feel” to it. Is that what makes it comfortable? Is it the bottle of wine in the fridge to make a toast and celebrate another milestone in life? I look forward to hearing from you.

I had spent my whole life feeling homesick. The only difference between the two of us was that I didn’t know what or where home was.”
― Marian Keyes, Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married

From my heart to yours,
Marlene

Comments on: "In Search of the Comfort of Home" (9)

  1. Your daughter sounds very wise! All the best wishes to you and your new home.

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  2. A nice, reflective piece, Marlene. As a professional organizer, I’ve helped many clients sort through stuff to get to the bottom of what’s meaningful. Stuff means different things to different people: security, posterity, memory. In the end though, it’s just stuff. Art work on the wall might be a piece of framed gift wrap, the cover of a theater program or a child’s hand print. I’m glad you will have your own place. Take your time. All you need for starters is a place to sleep, a couple of chairs and a table for meals. You can slowly flesh out the rest, and can have fun doing so.

    Moving is exhausting. Smaller places remind us that we need very little to get by. Before I got married I lived in a 500 square foot apartment with one closet. It was just me and a pair of cats and I got along fine.

    Best of luck!

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    • Thanks for your comment. Being a Virgo, I abhor clutter. Being creative often brings it about. I have sold and donated so much before the last storage and will do so again as I unpack and weed out. You are correct. It is a process and I have no choice but to take it slowly. I’m looking at way too many bone china tea cups in a box trying to decide on their new home, elsewhere, 🙂

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  3. Your daughter is so wise. I feel that home is where I am comfortable and my guests feel free to make themselves at home when they visit. For me that means comfortable seating, blankets around for anyone who enjoys pulling on one, and things that make me smile on the walls. I hate clutter as well.

    As for your tea cups, I’ve used them for small plants, as a bird feeder (but had to glue the saucer to the bottom of the cup) and you can fill them with wax and make your own candles, whether to keep or gift.

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    • Thanks for the comments. Yes, my daughter is extremely wise. I want to grow up and be just like her one day. I needed slightly more than 300 sq. ft. so I can have space for creative endeavors and guests. My son stays 10 days at a time and most of my friends live out of state. I’ve lived a lot of places. But like you, I am simplifying my life. I lived prior in 3000 sq ft. As time goes by, I simplify even more. Thanks for the ideas on the tea cups. They are put away for now until I’m ready to craft with them. The best sets are in the cupboard to share tea with family and friends.

      ________________________________

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      • I do have occasional over night guests, but not for 10 days at a time. When the little grand children stay one likes to sleep with me, the other likes to sleep on the love seat across the room. When my youngest son comes up it’s usually only for 1-2 nights with his wife and little daughter. I sleep on the loveseat, my son and wife sleep on my double bed and the little one I’ve made her a small mattress that she sleeps on in the middle of the floor. Luckily, my kids are fine with this arrangement.

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