In Search of Summary

Christmas is technically over. All those presents that were beautifully wrapped have been distributed to loved ones and the paper rained over several living rooms. We did Christmas in shifts this year as so many must do. My niece and her girls were visited the weekend before. My sister was two days after as she had a bad cold with fever. We appreciated her not spreading it around.

The ribbon was recycled from years gon by and once again saved.

There is a saying; “the hurrier I go, the behinder I get.” I think it’s on our family crest. Once again, I’m behind getting done the things I wanted to make for friends and family. Selling a house during the Christmas holiday was a blessing and a welcome accomplishment on so many levels but took a great deal of my time and energy. I wish I could extend my gift giving into February. Maybe I will.

I finally finished this casserole cozy for my sister as her Christmas gift. She picked out the material and pattern just after I became ill. Thinking that it would be no problem to complete, I was surprised that I could not sew until just recently. It had been so long in the making, my sister forgot all about it and was delighted to see it complete.I did buy the casserole dish and wooden spoon as part of the gift.

Casserole caddy three years to make

Next I did a machine embroidered t-shirt for my daughter with her favorite saying stitched on it. She’s concluded there is no prince charming in her near future so it’s up to her to make her life majestic.

This is how she sees herself.

I’m still working on one for my son and hope to have it complete before he heads back home. They look so easy but somehow mine always end up a little off-center. What does that say about me? I must share my favorite photo of the season taken by my son. My niece’s boyfriend has this rescued Pit mix I’ve written about before. Her name is Amy and she is the sweetest dog.

Yes Santa, I’ve been a good girl. Please leave a bone in my stocking.

I don’t know about you but for some reason I always have this long list of things to get done and never quite get there. So I will go back and make another list of the things I did accomplish. When you sum it all up, the movement was all forward. Isn’t that the direction we should be heading with a few peaks at the past to make sure we are still on the road we wanted?

With the New Year just a day away; looking back I realize that I’ve actually come a long way in a year. I have finally become well enough to drive a tiny bit and begun sewing a little. I have achieved all my financial goals I set for this year. Next year, I hope to achieve my health goals. Yes, there is a weight loss in the plan. There is a weight loss plan every year. Obviously, almost 3 years of tipping over every time I move has led to a very inactive lifestyle. That gave me time for the writing I love so much. This time I’m looking for a plan that is kinder and gentler. Three years ago I lost 50 pounds on a bet. Most of it is back. I plan on getting well this year. There are no resolutions here; just a day by day plan to make each one as good as possible. Bet you have some great plans for this year that might not have been. I’d love to hear about them. Maybe we can achieve them together.

Happy New Year Everyone!

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of the Next Step

In this season of gratitude and giving, there seems no end to my list of things for which to be grateful.

On Wednesday, December 5, 2012, I stopped at the mailbox on my way to run errands. It was the first dry day in a week and since I don’t drive at all when it rains, there was much to be accomplished. Windshield wipers add to the dizziness.

I was not expecting any mail but i nside my tiny box was a thick packet in one of those yellow-brown envelopes. It was from a title company in the town where my house was for sale.

The first page read: Congratulations on the sale of your home. Here are 50 pages of documents to read, sign and have notarized. Well, that added to my to-do list. I would need to find a notary close to home so I searched the internet and made some calls, all from the convenience of my front seat with my smart phone. How did we ever live without them?

Arriving at the notary, I can’t tell you how relieved I was to be greeted by a mature woman who knew what she was doing. I certainly didn’t.I handed her the documents. The process took us the better part of an hour and with each page I signed, a feeling I could not immediately identify, crept over me. Before the last pages were signed, I was blotting quiet tears. What the heck was this all about? I had asked St. Joseph to find someone to care for the home and he had complied, within days of my prayer. So why the tears? Melancholy set in and stayed for the next day as well. I would miss that home for all hopes and dreams it represented.

It was a wonderful home

I’ve been afraid to say a word about selling my home because it’s not done till it’s done. Homes have fallen out of escrow at the very last-minute and I didn’t want to jinx it. Yes, I’m slightly superstitious. How silly is that? Waiting until the closing completed, was a must. On December 18 at 1:18 pm I was notified that escrow had officially been closed.

This will be the last thing that ties me to the ex-husband and we can be done. We can both move forward in different ways. In deepest gratitude, I am a free woman in every sense of the word.

oh so grand but not for me.

This Christmas season has brought many gifts. The best part is I have both my adult children and my sister with me for the holiday. What comes under the tree is just icing on a very tasty cake. I am filled to the brim with joy and I hope some of it spills over onto you.

The process of selling this home has taken a lot of energy during this holiday season so very little of my usual routine has been done but I am oh, so grateful it has found new caregivers. bringing a fresh breath to the New Year. Here’s a toast to mixed emotions. I am soaking up this moment, then I have to wonder, what’s next? What would you do as a next step?

Sometimes moving on with the rest of your life starts with goodbye. ~ author unknown

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of Signs of the Season

Like so many folks that I have heard from this year, I’m having a bit of trouble getting my holiday grove on. Something feels very off this year and I can’t put my finger on it. I’m blaming the unusual alignment of the planets this year. People look at me funny when I tell them that’s why nothing is getting done but they don’t question it. You can come up with your own reasons.

Since I’m not out shopping to get in the mood, music on my laptop has to get me cheery. I’ve watched as many holiday movies as the Hallmark channel will provide. Those kept me company while I wrote out Christmas cards but the baking required the music. There has been a lot of baking but not as much as usual.

M&M’s don’t last long when my son arrives

My daughter and I bake to make gifts for friends and neighbors. I give a loaf of banana or pumpkin bread to each delivery person that graces my door. The mailman gets one too. The recipes are family secrets. My first mother-in-law shared the banana bread recipe with me along with her lessons on how to love a child. I bake it in her honor. The M&M™ cookies are from the original recipe I found in a magazine in 1963. I’ve made them almost every year since except for 1968 when we lived in Taiwan with no stove or oven. I also make my Rice Krispie™ treats from their original recipe that called for more marshmallows and less krispies. I cut the butter in half and it works just fine. The coconut macaroons are from my mothers German recipe book that we converted the measurements though I still have German measuring cups.

There is more in the freezer and the fridge. OMG! Come help us eat this.

I’ll take cookies and bread to the complex office since they have been so kind and helpful. We will take some down to my niece and her girls. She doesn’t have a lot of time to bake. There will be some left for us to enjoy. My son is the official cookie tester. Everyone has to have a job no matter how difficult.

I spent a lot of time looking down at the ground to find this stuff.

My wreath is on the door even though it’s looking a bit weary after 2 years in storage. I’ve made several of them as gifts from stuff off the ground. I’ll repair it before putting it back. A portion of my decorations are still in storage though I sold or donated quite a bit two years ago when they were last out.

My daughter is the official wrapper for our family. We even make her finish her own wrapping after we put her gift in the box. She embellishes everything. She even started making her own bows and sewed a Christmas button on that I had in my stash. We always hate to open the packages. I think next year I’ll let her wrap empty boxes to keep under the tree. That’s what they had her doing at work this week.

To pretty ot open

Button and handmade bow

I’m as ready as I’m going to get this year. The signs of the season are all in place. At least I think they are. What is the sign that signals the holiday has arrived for you?

I will honor Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it all the year. ~ Charles Dickens

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of Santa Claus

I was reading a post this morning asking the best way to out Santa Claus to your children. Several readers offered helpful advice. I was at the ready to offer my own and thought better of it. But the thought is still there. I had always followed along with the rest of the country with this Santa Claus thing. It was fun to some extent.

I first learned of Santa Claus at the age of six. That’s usually when most children start to question his existence. That year I learned Santa was real. I have believed in Santa ever since.

We were a dirt poor military family. Most months there wasn’t enough food left before the next payday to feed us so several families my parents knew would get together and combine what was left in their cupboards to feed all of us. Money for a tree or gifts was out of the question. My parents were both hard workers. Mom didn’t have a job; she had us and the house but was always trying to find ways to make extra money at home.

Dad took us out one night to see if he could cut down a tree in the Colorado woods. His only tool was a pocket knife. Result, no tree. Disappointment weighed heavy on my heart.

Mom and dad walked back in our door with my little sister in tow and of course, I dragged behind; disappointment punctuating every step. The porch was dark but looking up, I saw a shadow. I looked harder. I shouted for my parents. Is this a tree on our porch? They finally turned on the porch light and there it stood in all its glory. The parents looked at each other and I could tell they had no clue where the tree had come from. They were with me so I knew they didn’t put it there. It had to be Santa. I have believed in Santa ever since.

When you study the phenomena of Santa Claus you know of course St. Nicholas was the European version. He brought gifts to the poor and did it secretly. We never knew who put the tree on our porch but as I grew, I knew I too could be Santa. We had almost nothing in the way of toys my entire childhood but I always had the magic of a mysterious kind heart that gave what was necessary to keep the wonder of the season in a child’s heart.

My vision of St. Nicholas aka Santa Claus

My gift to my children was to raise them to have generous and kind hearts. When you teach children to reach out to others even when you have little yourself, you have gifted the world. There are so many children that have so many toys. It would be lovely if they were taught to gift toys they no longer favored but were still in perfect condition to others. I know many that do. Santa Claus is alive and well in the body of many who care.
I think that’s a fairy tale your children can live with.

From my heart to yours
Marlene Herself HO HO HO

In Search of the Wonder of Christmas

In one week my son will be here to spend eighteen days with me. Christmas is for me, a season of gratitude and giving. I am the person that wants to keep decorations up all year and feel the wonder of connection to everyone. But alas, it’s frowned upon unless you have a Christmas store. Hmmm, there’s an idea.

We are fortunate that my niece lives just an hour away and has four beautiful daughters, so we will have her little ones to bestow our love and gifts of time upon.

My tiny, skinny tree is up. Since I live in an apartment building, for fire safety, I have opted for artificial. Do you know you can pick up a nice one at the thrift store then donate it back at the end of the season. No storage of a bulky tree. I was at my son’s last year so I didn’t need a tree. This year’s tree is similar to the last one I had. It fits nicely in the small space. Twenty year old ornaments bring that familiar feel to each tree. My ex and I gave up real trees when we couldn’t get the last one to stay standing. It fell over three times before we nailed it to the floor and wired it to the wall. The artificial tree we bought after that lasted 20 years before I donated it. Odd, we never had another Christmas together in that house. Hmmm.

So here’s my tiny tree and a few of my favorite decorations. I didn’t bring out everything this year. My heart just wasn’t in it.

It fits nicely in the corner

I made the tree skirt a few years ago when I could sew. It was fun and festive. There are several more waiting to be finished if I ever stop moving.

Heart shaped tree skirt

As you can see, I have a very old Christmoose keeping an eye on the tree as well as Mrs. Claus. She’s not done with her baking so I have no idea why she’s taking such a long break.

Christmoose checking out the tree

Mrs Claus taking a much needed break

What is it that brings the wonder of the season to you? For me it’s never been about getting gifts. It’s about seeing the sparkle in the eye of the receiver. It’s the smell of cookies, banana and pumpkin breads baking for the delivery people. It’s in the simple joys of family and friends sharing a meal. Every year brings some new addition to tradition.

“Remember, if Christmas isn’t found in your heart, you won’t find it under a tree.” ~ Charlotte Carpenter.

From my heart to yours
Marlene Herself