In Search of a Simple Project

This project was finished earlier in the week but I waited to blog about it because I’m hoping it gets to the intended recipient before she has a chance to read this. It was raining too hard for me to drive to the post office so it will go out in tomorrow’s mail.

Iron caddy in carrying position

Insert travel iron and off you go

I saw the pattern for this in a quilt shop here in November and hoped to have it done for my friend’s birthday in early December. Uh, I don’t think I made it. It looked so cute and so easy when I looked at the picture. My good friend could take it to the quilt classess and retreats that she so enjoys. How hard can it be to sew four layers of fabric together and bend them into this cute little caddy? I’ve been sewing for years so I should just zip right through it.

Ironing side

I’m going to tell you something I have had a hard time admitting. All those report cards in grade school saying “Marlene doesn’t follow directions well” may have been onto something. Personally, I think the directions were written by someone who has made this hundreds of times and doesn’t understand the idea of missing information. I missed the information in small print that said “preshrink material before cutting”. Then I cut it and read the measurements incorrectly. I cut up 4 pieces of material and finally chose a different fabric entirely. Then it went together so much easier. I finally figured out my friend would be more agreeable with the last one so it was the Universes way of letting me know.

At the end, when it came to figuring out how to fold it into a caddy, the instructions were not there. I had to look it up on the internet. What happens if you don’t have access? A lot of my older quilting friends don’t do computer. Really!

In all my years of sewing and crafting, I have rarely done anything the easy way. My last husband asked me why I insisted on beating myself up so much? It’s in my DNA. Somehow, I see something that looks so beautiful and I just have to make it. Like this dress I made for my daughter. I was working in a fabric store and material was discounted if I made something and it was displayed to entice customers. I had never sewn plaids before so let’s just go all out and make it long and ruffled. It took six yards of fabric with plaids matching up the center front, exactly and at every other point of connection. The planning before cutting was incredibly time consuming. I was much younger and healthy at the time or maybe the directions for the dress were just better. You’d think I’d learn.

Someone offered my $100 for it while hanging in the store.

Her favorite Christmas dress.

Just like the casserole caddy I made for my sister, this was not as easy for me as it looked. It might be easier for others who know how to read and follow directions. Will I give up on the hard projects? I have several (many) quilts to do, a big shirt where you cut the pattern all apart and put it back together patchwork style waiting. Any chance there is a simple project in that room? Probably not, so maybe I’ll just sit here for awhile reading all of your wonderful blogs; living vicariously for a bit.

“It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.” ― Confucius

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of My Sister

I’ve come out of my cave this week. This may be the last of the hibernation. With the assistance of some wise words by a fellow blogger, I began to understand the reason for the retreat. When a blogger said she didn’t own a self-help book, I had to take a look at why I needed so many.

The last three years have brought many changes. Not all of the changes were pleasant, all were necessary. Through it all, I’ve had my sister to support me, along with my wonderful adult children. Sis has gone through so much more hardship than I can even imagine and we are both somewhat lacking an essential ingredient to make life as successful as it could be.

Lonely seagull waiting, watching

Self-esteem, not inflated ego, is absolutely necessary to healthy relationships. Unfortunately, you can’t get that from a self-help book. Three years ago, she came to my rescue with a big yellow truck and drove it 1800 miles while my daughter helped me pack and drove my car. This weekend, it was my turn to rescue her.

Sweet Downtown
Port Townnsend, WA.

She was left stranded with no vehicle and no phone four hours away in a lovely little town. Fortunately, she had her laptop and e-mailed me. We had to wait until Friday afternoon when my daughter got off work and could drive while I navigated the unfamiliar roads. Somehow, my daughter and son have healthier self-esteem and I’m grateful for them both.

Would have been nice to be stranded here but not in our budgets

The reason my sister was so far away was so she would be cut off from any support system. When a person you are in a relationship with starts to separate you from those that care about you, warning bells often go off. Many of us chose to ignore the bells. I’ve actually had the hair stand up on the back of my neck to warn me that I was approaching a bad situation. That, I listened to, thankfully.

That was the other reason I had retired to my cave. I felt helpless to do anything and devastated at the possible loss of someone else I loved. All I could do was sleep, eat and pray. Someone must have heard the prayers because the spell has been broken. I was going to leave her there if it had not been. It’s interesting the things we as humans will do to be loved by another. Intelligence has very little to do with it. Human behavior is something that I am absolutely fascinated by.

Ships reminder at the dock

Now I feel like I can work again. I’ve been slugging away at a project that just wouldn’t come together until now. Hopefully, by evening it will be in the finishing stages. Pictures will follow if success is achieved.

Know your comments are always appreciated and taken to heart. I may be an old woman but I still have so many lessons to learn in this lifetime. This one taught us both so much. I am grateful to have found that sister I love so much once again.

I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. ~ Agatha Christie

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of the Combination

My daughter and I had a girl’s day hanging out in our favorite metaphysical bookstore last Saturday. New Renaissance is located in downtown Portland, Oregon. Or is it uptown? We could spend days there but that would be a very expensive venture.

We started out spending some time with one of their readers, just for some fun. Don’t go shaking your heads now. I take everything with a grain of salt but this young lady was pretty good for someone so young. My daughter and I had plenty to giggle about and that was well worth it.

As I perused the books for a few moments before we headed out for linner, (lunch/dinner) a book jumped off the shelf at me. Now I don’t need another book, but this one was insistent. I certainly didn’t need another writing book as I have a minimum of 108. I’m a little slow to learn.

This is my combination so far.

I also picked up the book written by the woman who was giving the evening seminar we were to attend, “Intuitive Healing” by Marie Manuchehri. I had hoped to have it autographed. There were too many people waiting so we gave up and called it a night after the seminar. Yes I’m a bit out there. I’m sure this was not your first clue. You have to cut me a little slack here.

February 11 marks a full three years with the debilitating remnants of Bells Palsy. I’m looking for answers everywhere and anywhere. It should have been gone by now. There has to be a reason it’s not, so the search is still on.
I tend to absorb books more than read them. Like this writing book which has stayed by my side since the first moment I opened it. It combines my primary interests; writing, healing and spirituality.

By the time I read to page three of the first chapter, I was moved to tears. Janet Conner writes of her Covenant. They are vows to herself that she will not break. I’m hoping for some changes in my writing as has felt a bit stilted and shallow. I have waited to post anything because I didn’t like anything I wrote.

It brought me back to my practice of morning pages that Julia Cameron writes about in “The Artist’s Way”. I actually took a 12 week workshop on it doing one chapter at a time. My copies of Julia Cameron’s books are unfortunately still in boxes in the garage.

Writing is the most healing thing I have done. When I read Louise Hay’s book, “You Can Heal Your Life” it said that Bells Palsy was a manifestation of extreme control over anger and unwillingness to express feelings. Yup, that was me, the people pleaser. So paper is where I blow off steam and process loss. It’s less messy. Right now, I have nothing left to be angry about. Not even Bells Palsy. It was a gift. I’m hoping to get more from this book and others. It seems to be what I have to do at this moment in time.

I have 3 copies of this well worn book.

Do you have any books that helped you with your writing or your life that I may not have heard of yet? I obviously have nothing but time right now.

“Grace strikes us when we are in great pain and restlessness. . . .Sometimes at that moment a wave of light breaks into our darkness, and it is as though a voice were saying: You are accepted.” ― Paul Johannes Tillich

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of Similarities in Boys and Girls

I’ve spent a great deal of time lately scanning old pictures into my computer. It’s a small step outside of the cave. I decided to share a few. While I was out of my cave, my daughter asked me to go with her to pick up a new battery for her car. It was recommended by the mechanic that changed the ball joints on her 15-year-old vehicle. She expected that buying the battery on her own would save her some money as the repairs had been quite costly. It never crossed my mind that Costco did not install batteries.

My daughter is what I think of as a typical girly girl. She was always very delicate in her manner and definitely not athletic in any way. Dress up was fun for her and tea parties were a favorite past-time. Nothing has changed in that area. We still hunt down tea houses where ever we go.

One of many dress up tea parties. Hats are essential.

Her brother was always fairly typical of a boy. He loved to be athletic and climb things. Anything with wheels and wings drew his attention. Tearing things apart and putting them back together would entrance him for days at a time. There were a few years where he commuted between states weekly, rode a motorcycle and took flying lessons to get his own pilots license. I prayed a lot.

Most boys dream, playing with engines. No changes there.

When my daughter found out they would not install the battery, my first inclination was to not buy it and go somewhere and pay the extra to get it done. My daughter looked at me and said “I can do it.” So out to the parking lot we went. She dug out her tools and started working to get the old battery out. Then there were bolts at the bottom holding it down. Her tools wouldn’t reach. Tightening up the battery again she drove her car up to the tire center to ask if they had a tool she could use. They were quite helpful but nothing they had worked either. I suggested taking the battery back. “No way” she said. “I can’t be caught without the proper tools to do this so we will go to find them.” Off to Sears we went. I leaned on my cane as she perused the tool aisles like she knew what she was doing. Obviously, she did. Within the half hour and well before dark, she used her new tools to pulled out the old battery and replaced it. We then returned to Costco to turn in the old battery for the core refund. I cannot tell you in proper words the look on her face as she completed her task. That “I did it myself and I can do anything” look, sent a swell of pride through me. There was no way to capture it on a camera. Besides, the hood was still up on the car.

Now to be fair, my son is no slacker. He cooks his own meals, does his own laundry, cleaning and dishes even while tiling his bathroom with skills he’s learning on the internet. I think there are basic differences. He’d rather do the tinkering on his car and she’d rather have a tea party. But when it comes down to it, they both realize it’s essential to know the basics of life. Know how to take care of your vehicle and how to feed yourself. There might not always be someone there to help. I wonder where they got that from?

Ok, I’ve changed the spark plugs, can you pull me up now?

“The power which resides in him is new in nature, and none but he knows what that is which he can do, nor does he know until he has tried.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself