Looking for answers to life's questions

I’ve come out of my cave this week. This may be the last of the hibernation. With the assistance of some wise words by a fellow blogger, I began to understand the reason for the retreat. When a blogger said she didn’t own a self-help book, I had to take a look at why I needed so many.

The last three years have brought many changes. Not all of the changes were pleasant, all were necessary. Through it all, I’ve had my sister to support me, along with my wonderful adult children. Sis has gone through so much more hardship than I can even imagine and we are both somewhat lacking an essential ingredient to make life as successful as it could be.

Lonely seagull waiting, watching

Lonely seagull waiting, watching

Self-esteem, not inflated ego, is absolutely necessary to healthy relationships. Unfortunately, you can’t get that from a self-help book. Three years ago, she came to my rescue with a big yellow truck and drove it 1800 miles while my daughter helped me pack and drove my car. This weekend, it was my turn to rescue her.

Sweet Downtown
 Port Townnsend, WA.

Sweet Downtown
Port Townnsend, WA.

She was left stranded with no vehicle and no phone four hours away in a lovely little town. Fortunately, she had her laptop and e-mailed me. We had to wait until Friday afternoon when my daughter got off work and could drive while I navigated the unfamiliar roads. Somehow, my daughter and son have healthier self-esteem and I’m grateful for them both.

Would have been nice to be stranded here but not in our budgets

Would have been nice to be stranded here but not in our budgets

The reason my sister was so far away was so she would be cut off from any support system. When a person you are in a relationship with starts to separate you from those that care about you, warning bells often go off. Many of us chose to ignore the bells. I’ve actually had the hair stand up on the back of my neck to warn me that I was approaching a bad situation. That, I listened to, thankfully.

That was the other reason I had retired to my cave. I felt helpless to do anything and devastated at the possible loss of someone else I loved. All I could do was sleep, eat and pray. Someone must have heard the prayers because the spell has been broken. I was going to leave her there if it had not been. It’s interesting the things we as humans will do to be loved by another. Intelligence has very little to do with it. Human behavior is something that I am absolutely fascinated by.

Ships reminder at the dock

Ships reminder at the dock

Now I feel like I can work again. I’ve been slugging away at a project that just wouldn’t come together until now. Hopefully, by evening it will be in the finishing stages. Pictures will follow if success is achieved.

Know your comments are always appreciated and taken to heart. I may be an old woman but I still have so many lessons to learn in this lifetime. This one taught us both so much. I am grateful to have found that sister I love so much once again.

I have sometimes been wildly, despairingly, acutely miserable, racked with sorrow, but through it all I still know quite certainly that just to be alive is a grand thing. ~ Agatha Christie

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

Comments on: "In Search of My Sister" (15)

  1. Marlene, I’m rooting for you. It’s scary to leave “the cave” but, in the long run, it can really be worth it 🙂

    Spashionista (Alicia)

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  2. I am glad you are pulling through, winter seems to bring on introspection being cooped up that we, or at least I, don’t always want to have at that moment. It does seem easier as I get older. Learning should never stop as long as we are alive, is something I believe in strongly.

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  3. Sometimes finding ones way is difficult. I am happy that you are coming out of your
    cave. Family is always to be cherished. Most of mine has passed on. I have just one
    brother still living. I am joyful that you and your sister could be reunited. There is always a special bond with sisters. Both my sisters are gone and I miss them everyday.

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    • Thank you for reading and your kind words. My sister holds a special place in my heart. I can let her go and live anywhere she wants, as long as she can talk to me freely and often. I understand how you miss your sisters every day. Mom’s been gone since 2001 and I miss her everyday too.

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  4. JackieP said:

    Agatha knew what she was talking about. Glad you have your sister back and have come out of hiding.

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  5. I’m close to my sister, too, so I can appreciate how this must have weighed on you. I wish you both luck moving forward. I hope the despicable (and lost) soul is gone from your lives for good. Rock on!

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  6. I am more ‘a-work-in-progress’ than wise, HA. It’s you Marlene, you are the inspiration with all you manage in your life. No one should allow themselves to feel isolated and desperate. Thank goodness your sister reached out. I totally know, nothing makes a person feel better about themselves than being able to do something for another. It somehow puts any doubt about our own lives in perspective. I see the fog has begun to lift in your words and spirit, Enjoy the journey. Can’t wait to see your project 😀

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  7. Your post was a very timely message for me so thank you! As you say change is an unavoidable part of life and not always pleasant but usually necessary. I look forward to reading further posts from you 🙂

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    • Thank you for reading and your comments. Everyday brings a new lesson. I helped my sister pack this week and she moved up to Port Townsend yesterday. Life goes on and we adjust.

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  8. I have always thought I would have been a very good bear. When things get too hard, I retreat just like you. But Spring is here and I’m glad you found your way out of your cave. Time to enjoy rebirth!

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    • Winter has wonderful aspects but in reality, I’m solar powered. Don’t know what brings me to Oregon except my daughter. If she leaves here????? Thanks for the comment.

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