In Search of a Magician

I need a magician or a miracle but either will do nicely. The realtor must just not get me or what it is I need, no matter how many times I explain it. My daughter and I drove by a listed house yesterday that she had sent by e-mail. The price was right but I knew in my heart of hearts that what I can afford, I don’t want to live in.

A criterion for a home is so individual that I’m surprised anyone finds a home already built that is suitable to them. If I could find an affordable piece of land here, I would certainly like to build. I’d build green with good flow. That’s when one of us wins the lottery.

As we got to see the inside with the realtor this morning, the house had three tiny bedrooms and a jack & jill bath that I think they built in the closet. One of the bedrooms was tucked between the other two so whoever was in that middle bedroom, had to go through one or the other to get out. It was 1008 square feet which was smaller than my apartment. Yes, I know, I am so very lucky. The kitchen was miniscule but that didn’t bother me. The only reason I ever have a kitchen is because they come with the house. There was a workshop in back but no garage to protect my car. I looked at all the possible ways to make it work for me. It was a long walk on a big hill to the bus line and with frequent company, I need several bedrooms. The yard had great potential.

It’s older than I am and looks like I feel. Actually looks better than most I’ve seen.

I have given thought to a manufactured home in a park. The space rent for 15 years would add up to over $100,000. A condo is typically two or three stories here with common walls. My sister sold hers, getting just enough to avoid a short sale. She couldn’t do the stairs anymore either.

Walls for bookcases and a sewing room are absolutely necessary. I make quite a mess when I create. My requirements are to be close enough to my daughter to have help when necessary and access to activities. Demanding aren’t I? If I’m going to be living and paying for this home over the next twenty years, I would like it to feel good. Most of what I have seen is backed up to industrial areas, train tracks, or highways. Even those are priced too high to put the money and work into them for this old lady.

My magician needs to conjure up another $100,000 or more. It’s what they call a champagne appetite on a home brew budget. I really am downsizing and expecting a lot less than I’ve had before. So if you know a magician or a miracle worker, send them my way. Can you use a little magic in your life?

“Hope can be a powerful force. Maybe there’s no actual magic in it, but when you know what you hope for most and hold it like a light within you, you can make things happen, almost like magic.” ~ Laini Taylor, Daughter of Smoke & Bone

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of New Friends

My brain has been on stuck mode the last couple of weeks. Author Mccloskey Speaks wrote in her post last week “I Got Nothing”, I had to commiserate. I’ve been in that same frame of mind. It’s like swimming through Jello. My mind is mush.

Two weeks ago, I started two new writing classes at a neighboring senior center. My local center didn’t have one. On Wednesday afternoon, it’s a creative writing class and I’ve discovered that I don’t do well with 3 minutes to write on a prompt. It’s the Jello again. Even the weekly assignments leave me with a vacuum where my brain once resided. The second is a memoir writing class. Should be easy enough, right? The prompts once again left me struggling for any memory of that particular experience.

Turtle looking at the pond

The challenge is good for my brain that is slowly repairing itself from years of intense stress that ended with the Bells Palsy. For the first two years after I came down with it, I could not complete a simple sentence. Everyone around me played charades. I pointed like a two-year old or beat my head looking for a simple word. These writing exercises are just that; brain exercise.

Fairy garden back

The other reason I signed up for the classes is that I am new enough in the area that I have yet to make friends. There seems to be a large turnover of young people in my apartment complex and though I’ve become acquainted with my neighbors, four of the apartments right by mine, have been vacated. Winter is over. Spring is making things lush and lovely once again. Here in Oregon, it’s really lovely all year. I’m hoping warmer, drier weather brings everyone out to get acquainted. I met one lady here who seems nice enough. She asks a lot of favors and doesn’t say thank you, so I’m giving the friendship some thought.

Chicks & Hens with Buddha

Buddha close up

In the meantime I’ve done a little container gardening trying my hand at a fairy garden. The outcome is irrelevant to the process. I got hooked after reading Gardening Nirvana’s post on Fairy Garden Frivolity.It has been so much fun and next week when there is real sunshine once again, (I can hardly wait) maybe I’ll do a little more playing in the dirt. Hopefully, I can then sit on my upstairs deck and see more than ducks go by. It really is hard making new friends when you are old, single, quirky and have moved too much. But I will persevere. My daughter needs a break.

Tumpta reading a book

“Good friends, good books, and a sleepy conscience: this is the ideal life.” ― Mark Twain

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of a Ray of Sunshine

The sun came for a visit but refused to unpack and stay awhile. The warmth felt good for the few days it stayed. Maybe father sun felt like just another guest. You know the kind that after three days starts to stink and you want it gone. I might feel that way in August, but not right now.

I had a good time while it made it’s grand teasing entrance. Walking everywhere I could, taking pictures of everything else that was enjoying the lovely spring weather. I stopped to watch the ducks for a few moments and being very quiet was given a genuine gift. I had mentioned the Nutria in an earlier post right after moving into this apartment complex but could never get a picture. This time I was rewarded as someone had spread seed on the ground for the ducks. Looks like several others were hungry too.

Nutria in the water, ducks resting in the middle and the mouse heading for seed at the bottom. Look hard.

It’s a bit difficult to take a picture of anything while holding a cane but somehow I managed. If you’ve ever wondered how well a mouse can hear, each time the camera clicked, the mouse ran for cover. It’s a quiet camera. The only other mouse I saw was in an upstairs bedroom attached to the attic. Unfortunately, we had to trap the poor guy. He was too fast for my husband to catch. They can run up walls, by the way.

I see a vacancy there. Shall we check out the apartment?

I am feeling better, most of the time, so what do I do with that extra energy? I signed up for a couple of writing classes that I’m truly enjoying. It’s a chance to meet new people and stretch myself. There are homework assignments so I’m getting behind on my blog reading and writing. Maybe by next week, I’ll have a better flow going.

I also managed to get my spring wall hanging made and hung outside the door. I texted a picture of it to my sister-in-law and she said it was going to fall in her suitcase when she comes for a visit in July. Looks like I’ll have to make myself another for next year. Now I need to work on one for Memorial Day and July 4th.

My sister-in-law loves humming birds. She’ll hang it next spring.

I have also traced out the pattern for the next set of Big Shirts I want to make but those take some serious time. Don’t expect pictures any time real soon. You’ll see why.

How can a person be this busy without a job? Most of the busy is about getting well. Yes, I’m still sticking with the routine!

It takes both rain and sunshine to make a rainbow. ~ Unknown

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of a New Routine

The saying is, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” It’s something which I seem to have a lot of experience. I’ve had a pattern since I became ill more than 3 years ago to get a ton of rest, watch some TV, read and eat food that required very little effort on my part. There is a V groove in my carpet from my bed to the kitchen to the chair and back again. Any wonder why I’ve gained (a lot of) weight?

Most mornings I would get up, get a cup of coffee, do my journaling, (morning pages) meditate, read my email and think about exercising. I HATE exercising. Just beat me with a stick and get it over with. I was hungry after the coffee and all the reading so it was time to make something to eat. You can’t exercise on a full stomach so more time would go by and I’d find more excuses. The fitness center is at the bottom on a tiny hill and it’s free though quite small. Another excuse.

Something has changed. I’m not sure what it is but I’m feeling better. I found a new spiritual center on Palm Sunday. It felt like I was home. Then,trying once again to do my Qi Gong exercises, I noticed that I’m not losing my balance if I do it early in the morning. Logic would have it that I change my pattern. Ok, I have a logical mind. Now I get up, turn on the DVD player and begin. One good day lead to the next. I only took Easter Sunday off. I didn’t need to but it was a good excuse. Then I read Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach for that day and begin writing my morning pages. Coffee comes with the e-mail. Yay! It’s watered down, half decaf, half regular coffee but since I’m recovering from a stress induced illness, I try to take it easy on my system. I just can’t give up the coffee.

A very gentle start for those who can do little

It’s a gentle combination of Tai Chi and Yoga Easier than most and a great start

On nice days I’ve been taking a walk, with my cane, of course, increasing the distance slowly after the long shut-in winter. I have no yard right now but trying to plant a bit in pots to insure outside activity. I’m finding that I can sew again and even concentrate enough to tackle a project or two that has been on hold all these years.

I’ve had this for years. Any daily inspiration works.

My health is the number one priority, and I’m finally acting on it. No more sitting and waiting for it to return. Being a person who requires routine, I’ve turned mine upside down and do the hard thing first. It will get easier with time. The e-mail will have to go to later in the day as well. I’ll scan it for business that needs to be taken care of, then proceed to the next hardest job. Does this mean I’m no longer insane? Hmmm. I doubt it, but we can hope.

Do you require a regular routine or can you just go with the flow?

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. ~ Mike Murdock

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself