In Search of Signs of Summer

The last week has been a rough one. The little bit of warmth we had for a week vanished bringing in rain, wind and winter temperatures. I actually broke down and turned on the heat again. That was especially necessary after I wound up with a bacterial infection that required antibiotics. I had a good laugh with the pharmacist when she explained that the medication could cause dizziness. Could I get any dizzier?? Uh huh. More on that subject much later. I’m still bouncing off the walls more than usual so getting anything done was tough. I get lazy when I’m not up to par.

Even my homework for writing class was sadly lacking in creativity. The prompt was gossip and I didn’t care for the subject matter. Making up a story was easier than trying to find three real life episodes of participation. I don’t enjoy gossip in any form. Maybe that’s why I spend so much of my time alone.

Can you see the stippling stitch around the design? My first try at it.

It’s hard to be creative when all your energy is going toward getting well and staying upright and warm. In spite of it all, I did manage to get a little done. My shirt is cut out and ready to sew. Wanting to get ready for the Memorial Day weekend, I planned out an embroidery in my software program and prepared the fabrics. I finally finished the project yesterday afternoon while my daughter was over drawing out her pattern for a shirt she is making. I’ll post photos later when the shirt is finished. Here is the wall hanging I did to encourage summer to make another appearance. I tried something I’ve never done before. I quilted around the design. It’s hard to see but my daughter liked the effect. I’ll try it again and get more practice.

This will hang through Labor Day.

I even ironed my little flags I’ve had for years. I’ll put one in the deck flowers when the rain stops. This one looks cute on the covered entrance to my door. They are for good Feng Shui as you enter.

Red flowers by the front door = good Feng Shui. The flag makes it better.

I managed to get a rose-bush my sister gave me for Mother’s Day into a bigger pot to give it some room to grow. It was in a cute little tin pot but the heat on the roots in the sun didn’t seem like a good idea. I love yellow roses and want this one to survive. It’s had plenty of rain, now it needs a little sunshine. Come on sun!

I’m hoping this survives.

I’m not complaining. I have nothing to complain about. Especially not the weather when so many parts of the country are hit with catastrophic weather. For so many, Memorial Day will include actual memorials. My heart goes out to everyone who has suffered loss. My dad was a military man for 20 years, so my prayers are with all those that serve, have served and their families too.

a closer look

Memorial Day usually signals the coming of summer which is really not for almost another month. We pretend that it’s here with the attempt at barbeques and warm weather clothes. My grill is under the eaves of the building to keep off the rain and I’ll be wearing a flannel shirt. How about you? Are there any signs of summer in your neck of the woods?

What good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it sweetness. ~ John Steinbeck

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of the Happiness Factor

I read Author McCloskey’s blog recently that brought up a subject that I feel so strongly about, I had to expound. What it is that makes one person live longer than the next? She pointed out that the happier man lived longer and enjoy his life more. That is often very true.

Many of us work hard to take care of ourselves with exercise and good diet. Some of us are lucky enough to have good genetics. Neither of these factors appears to be a guarantee. Add a positive, happy attitude to the mix, and you amp up the odds.

I have been a student of human nature for most of my life, trying to understand what make us do things in a certain way. Happiness is not a subject I have a lot of familiarity with as I tend to be stoic and practical. Life handed me lots of lemons so I’ve become practiced in all manner of lemon recipes. Lavender lemonade is my favorite. That’s the nicest way I can say I was broken many times in my life. When you are in survival mode, happiness isn’t something you think about. You just want to stop the pain.

So what is happiness? There has been a great deal of research about it lately giving me the opportunity to do some of my own. How do you know when you are happy? It seems to be such a fleeting feeling that comes and goes with circumstances. Buddhists believe you can be happy all the time, in spite of circumstances in your life. I’m looking into it in a very serious way. My first glimpse at happiness started after reading Byron Katie’s book, “Loving What Is”. I hated that book but it changed my life. It’s one you throw across the room because aren’t done being pissed. I bought Marci Shimoff’s book, “Happy for no Reason”. I didn’t read it right away either. My misery was quite comfortable where it was, thank you very much. I wanted a reason to be happy. (I know better now).

You have to be ready for change with this book.

I still don’t understand completely what happiness looks like. Now that I am living alone, with very limited income and none of the things that “make people happy”, I’m often asked if I’m happy. My answer is that I’m content and working my way to understanding if that is happiness. What is the criteria for happy? I know it’s not based on stuff. Of course, books are the exception. With an attitude of gratitude, happiness soon moves in.

She did a lot of the same research I did. But she wrote the book.

I’ve experienced great joys in life with my children. Even traveling with my mother to her homeland where we laughed out loud and giggled like school girls still brings a smile to my face. Watching puppies also gives me that warm, happy feeling. Doing a kindness in any capacity always leaves me happier. It’s the moments in between that I think we have to look at. You don’t have to be happy about your circumstances; just knowing you can get through them can raise the happiness quotient. I have long believed the happiness factor leads to increased longevity. I’m banking on it.

Puppies are always good for the warm fuzzies.

In the quiet moments of your day, are you happy? How do you define happiness?

Happy in writing class. Half shut eye is parayzed side but I’m really smiling here.

“Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ― Mahatma Gandhi

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of the Moms In My Life

Mother’s Day comes every year bringing a full range of emotions and memories. I am a very fortunate mom. I have two of the best adult children any mother could receive. Yes, they are a gift that I cherish every day. I’m also lucky enough since they feel the same way about me. My son has been thinking about Mother’s Day for awhile and sent two hanging baskets for me to put plants in and hang on my balcony. He ordered them from my favorite website, that gives extra food to the shelter animals when you order from them. I never miss a day to click on their site though I have never ordered from them. I finally got them planted this week. He also sent an electric sander so I can start working on some furniture I want to refinish.

This one will be in full sun. The basket says “Believe”

This basket will have more shade. Plenty of purple flowers there.

My daughter is taking me to my first ever, Mother’s Day brunch at my favorite German restaurant. No dieting on Mother’s Day for me. She gifts me with her time and company every week as well. That is worth its weight in gold. Brunches these days are quite pricey.

Mother’s Day always has me looking at the women in my life that mothered me. There were several that filled in the blanks. My first mother-in-law was one of those mother figures for me. She wasn’t all that fond of me since her son and I married way too young and she knew it. When push came to shove, she stepped up to the plate and was there to advise and console. She always said, “you can spoil a child with things, but not with love”. I learned so much from her including how to cook good, healthy meals.

This was a Mother’s Day and the little bunch of flowers really wasn’t enough.

The most important mother figure was my Great-Aunt Lucille. You can see that by the time this photo was taken, she had even mothered my mom enough to soften her and bring out her warmer nature. Aunt Lucille literally saved my life when I was a teenager in the throes of a meltdown. She taught me a different way to be in the world and how to loosen up just a little. She taught me about makeup and other things teen girls should know. I also had my young aunt to help with some of that but Aunt Lucille mothered like no one I’d ever known. I sent her flowers and cards once I was able, to let her know how much she meant to me. She loved and mothered many more even though she never had biological children. She was what you would call a “character” and I adored her. I wanted to be just like her and I really tried.

Mom and Great Aunt Lucille. Happy Mom’s Day.

So to all of you who are mothers, have mothers or still need to be mothered, Happy Mother’s Day.

“Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.” ― Robert A. Heinlein

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of Less Stress

It’s been an odd couple of weeks for me. It was raining babies the end of April. That has kept me so busy I haven’t had time to start on my homework for writing class or get this blog written on time. If I didn’t hurry, the babies will be in kindergarten before I had the gifts finished. There is nothing like adding a little pressure to an already self-created overload.

Here is a picture of the blanket I made with two pieces of high quality flannel and I embroidered the name and birthdate. The last name is edited as a protective measure. I’ve made many of them. These last two are different as they started with a printed panel.

A front panel that was in my stash

I’ve edited out the last name that is in the blank space in the middle.

One of the babies was the great-grandson of my ex-husband. His granddaughter lives in the area but I have not heard from her since we divorced. He called to say they were all coming to see me after the baby arrived. My ex’s oldest daughter was his driver. We are civil but there is obviously underlying hostility on her part. My dizziness from the stress of an encounter magnified but I didn’t want to create a problem if there was none. So I prepared for the visit and waited. The baby didn’t arrive until the day before he and his daughter had to leave and there was no time to come to my house. That resulted in instant stress relief. I did have my daughter drive us to the hospital to pay a visit to his granddaughter and the new baby.

I glued a flannel print from the panel to the card

I’m hoping that soon, things like this no longer create tension for me. It’s a process to learn how to let fear go. Now I still have my assignments for writing class to do and packages to get in the mail tomorrow but I know I can accomplish those tasks. My family wonders why I would make all the effort of creating these blankets along with a hand crafted card when they most likely will never be appreciated. My only answer is that it’s the right thing to do and even though it takes more time and energy than before I became ill, I enjoy doing it and do it for my own satisfaction.

Editing didn’t work as well but the embroidery on such a small piece worked well

My daughter and I found another way to reduce a little stress. We were making a trip to see my niece this weekend. One of her daughters was having a birthday so we stopped in for a couple of hours then headed back to the city. It’s an hour drive on the interstate which is usually bumper to bumper. We took a chance and found an old highway that would avoid most of the interstate. It took us a bit longer but it was so worth it. We saw places we would otherwise never see and it was so green and peaceful.

I could go on and on about what stress does to the body. Most of us already know all about that. What most of us have a hard time with, is finding ways to reduce it while continuing to do our daily life. What do you do to relieve stress?

The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another. ~ William James

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself