In Search of a Different Kind of Life

My sister came by this week for a short visit and was asking some very pointed questions. She was having a great deal of guilt because she thought she had cheated me out of a childhood. Even our mother admitted to friends that I raised the kids. My sister was sad that I could remember few joyful memories of my childhood. They were there; they just don’t stick like the hard times do. My joy came later when I had my children though it was balanced by the difficulty of my other relationships. I think that’s what life is, yin and yang, light and dark.

I assured my sister that my life has had many good moments and it continues to get better and better. I had the impression when I was very young that I came into the world to take care of people. It’s what my astrology and numerology chart say also. I’m the caregiver, nurturer, teacher, etc. I tell friends that I was born 108 years old. If our parents had been more capable, I probably would have found someone or something else to take care of, but as luck would have it, our parents had very little to work with or perhaps the plan all along was for me to be in charge of all of them. Yes, I raised mom too.

Grandpa holding my baby
sister a few months old.

I read stories every day, of people with less than idyllic childhoods but most of the stories end up with these people growing into the most wonderfully capable, kind, caring people. Ours was not stable or nurtured but it certainly was interesting. Each of us turned out to be kind, caring, productive members of society.

When friends ask my sister why her life has been like a carnival ride, she tells them it was because a five year old raised her. We both know that’s only part of the truth. She came into the world with an agenda of her own. Part of that agenda was to challenge the world’s archaic thinking and she is doing a fine job of it. It’s a tougher job than any I’ve ever had. Her enthusiasm in life balances my stoic quietness. Thank goodness. Yin and yang once again.

Ready for the challenge

She was all mine to love and discipline. Me at 9, she was 4

I told my sister that we didn’t get the cottage home with a white picket fence and Mr. & Mrs. Cleaver weren’t our parents but we got something else. We had an adventurous life and an extraordinary bond. We were never afraid to say “I can do that”. There is still so much to learn and experience. We are still alive and the adventure is ongoing. There are questions to be asked and answered. Would I have traded any part of my life for a more carefree existence? I don’t think so. Our lives are different than most and continues to evolve in that direction. I am in a unique position to create the life I want to some degree. Other than this stupid illness (Bells Palsy), nothing is holding me back. Life is supposed to be fun but mostly, I want it to be interesting. Different, odd, unique, adventurous, even downright hard is better to me than ordinary. I volunteered for it and I wanted to make sure she had no guilt left when she left here.

Would you prefer simple and ordinary over hard and different?

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of Creative Non-fiction

Writing class started again after a months break. Class has taught me many valuable lessons. The primary lesson, I don’t know how to do fiction. I’m not good at making up stories. If I get a prompt that I have no way to relate to, I sit for days trying to make something up and it turns out awful. What I can do, is take those tiny bits of memories and embellish them to fit the prompt. So it is with this story. Most of it’s as true as I can remember but the ending was added to fit the prompt. Today, I’ll share what I’m best at, telling bits of my life.

Are We There Yet?

The house was empty. The furniture and all our belongings had been packed and taken to be shipped to our new home. Even the car was gone. Little Jimmy was getting a bath by the mother’s helper when I walked in to check how much longer it would take.

That’s when the plan started to crumble. How could Margaret not see that Jimmy had spots all over his body? Running into the living room, I announced to my parents, “Jimmy has the measles.” Mom’s face went white and dad rolled his eyes. “Are you sure” they asked? Heck, I was only 9 but I knew measles when I saw them. “Go see for yourself” I shot back.

All I heard was panic coming from the bathroom. Jimmy was whisked from the bathtub, dried and dressed. Mom said no one was to mention measles to anyone. Not one word was to come out of our mouths. They dressed him in a jacket and put a hat with ear flaps on his head. As we sat at the NCO club waiting for the bus to take us to the Frankfort airport, mom gave Jimmy orange juice and said if anyone noticed the rash, he appeared to be allergic to it. They had to make the trip because all our beds and belongings were already gone. No way was she staying behind with 4 kids alone.

Once we arrived in Frankfort, another delay. A problem with the plane seemed to be the next hold up. So we were confined to one hotel room until another flight could be arranged. Finally, we were all on the flight. Jimmy was again dressed in the unseasonably warm leather jacket and cap. Once we were airborne, we couldn’t be left behind. There was some relaxation in the parents. Until…

Ours was green

We waited in New York for our car to come off the boat. More confinement in a hotel room. Finally we were underway and managed to get as far as somewhere in Virginia. It has to happen. Just as Jimmy was starting to get better, the baby came down with the measles too and it made him sick enough to require a doctor. They found an emergency room and the next thing I know, blankets are tacked up all around the back-end of the station wagon. They had to keep the car dark. It also kept out any breath of air. It was late April but with no open windows we were melting in there.

Dad drove until he couldn’t. Mom had just learned to drive and there was no way dad was going to let her get us lost here. Sleep was done at roadside rest stops, then more driving down the entire length of the coast to Georgia. Meals came from a loaf of purchased bread and a package of bologna. Four kids, two of them ill, one hyperactive and one bored to tears was almost too much for anyone. Somewhere in South Carolina, mom started to cry. Her head in her hands, she wailed “aren’t we there yet?” No, we weren’t and it just kept getting hotter.

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of a Different Way to Celebrate

Ok, I know it’s old news but I haven’t had a chance to really process it. July 4th is over and behind us but for me, this year’s celebration was a whole new experience. It actually happened on July 5th so those that had to work on Friday could stay up late and not have rest disturbed.

I have most often lived where fireworks are illegal and only to be watched by sitting with a very large crowd of people at some arena. Since I’m not crazy about crowds and my children are grown, (I think they are anyway) I most often don’t bother with the fireworks or celebration at all. When living in Arizona, June and July were fire season. We were lucky to get to barbecue and only with gas. So this year, my children and I drove the hour to their cousin’s place and experienced a real block party.

My son took the photos for me.

My niece’s boyfriend has lived on the block a long time and has been doing this July 4th extravaganza for several years. His parents have their own fireworks stand and he builds the displays that go off and dazzle you with ooh’s and ahh’s. I have never seen them up close and personal. The applause at the end of each round of display was worthy of any big time celebrity.

They actually pull a permit from the city to have a live band, block off the street at both ends (short street) and shoot off the fireworks in the middle. They have until 11:30 p.m. to get it all done. They were done by 11 so they were golden. The band was really loud, there was food from the entire block like you could not even imagine. When you thought there was no more food, someone brought in reinforcements.

Happy Hippy Band

Lots of eating took place and even some street dancing. I did very little of the eating and none of the dancing. My cane doesn’t know its’ right from its’ left. We observed. Children were everywhere having a great time playing in the street and waving lighted sparklers. Amazingly, not one of them was injured. Singles mingled, parents’ relaxed, new love smoldered and old couples enjoyed an evening out with no fuss.

Sparklers are an old,old favorite of children.

I brought 36 deviled eggs to the mix and made my rice and noodle pilaf for my niece and boyfriend. That’s what it costs me to get in the door. They didn’t share the rice dish and tried to keep many of the deviled eggs for themselves too. I guess I can cook a little. It was worth it for the novel experience of a block party. The little gatherings we had with our snow-bird neighbors in Arizona was downright sedate compared to this.

I don’t think she had any eardrums left

I’m so ready for a nice block of my own but I’ll leave the fireworks to the experienced hands. I guess there are so many ways to celebrate the holiday. This one took me a little out of my comfort zone but was so worth it. I love to watch people having a good time.
How do you handle new experiences that test your comfort zone?

Holidays are all different depending on the company and time of your life.~Dominic Monaghan

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of a Respite

Like a lot of the country, we went from cold and rain to a major heat wave. I have abandoned my living room and kitchen. When it’s hot, I can’t eat. I’m grateful my bedroom is not on the west-facing side. My sister brought me her portable AC unit that I had to try to find a place to vent it. I have sliding doors and the window it vents out is in the sewing room. Not ideal but I’ll take any help I can get. These are unusual temps for this area and these old buildings have no insulation. I’m not complaining though because so many places are hotter by a lot. I’m grateful my laptop can go to my bedroom where it’s cooler.

My son is coming for a very short visit over the 4th of July. It will cool down a bit by then. His aunt is visiting her daughter an hour from us and we will go down to see them and celebrate. My ex-sister-in-law was here for a couple of days before going back to her daughters. I gave her my “Welcome to Spring” embroidery that she loved so much. I can make another later. There will be no sewing of any kind for the next week. Only hugging and talking. Don’t you just love those kinds of holidays?

Even with my lack of real motivation the last couple of weeks, I did get a little something accomplished. I finished the quilt for my friends rescued dog and finally got over to give it to her. It was hard to get pictures of Chloe as the high pitch from the digital camera bothered her ears. Chloe welcomed me like I was family. You can see here how much she looks like my Schatzie did. She seemed to like her blanket. Her mom had another hospital run the week before so I was glad to get a chance to visit after my sister-in-law went back to my niece’s house.

free form pattern flannel front

green minke on the back for softness

Chloe on her blanket

One blind eye just like me

Between getting the little quilt done, I was also able to help encourage my daughter with her new shirt. We both loved the fabric. I didn’t like the pattern instructions. I told her next time we would do it differently for a better finish. She is so happy to have this accomplishment under her belt. That makes taking on another easier.

She doesn’t like her picture taken. Me either

She is normally the queen of procrastination. I think it’s a family trait. I have to work hard to beat it. She is proud to wear it as it turned out so well. Now we need to figure out what we will tackle next. Once the company is all gone and the heat abates a bit, maybe I can think again. Funny how your brain melts with the rest of you. I’ll be taking some time to organize my thoughts and my workroom.

How do you go from one project to the next? Do you keep lists of things to do? Are you projects in front of you or do you have to go find them? Are you taking a little respite during this holiday? What keeps you moving forward?

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself