Looking for answers to life's questions

Have you noticed my posts getting farther and farther apart? I’ve been feeling quite badly about it but can’t afford to stress even a little. I mentioned a few posts back that I had taken on a bit more these days than previously. As the winter weather let go its icy grip, signs of life showed up in my apartment in a big way.

Note at mailboxes said "Can’t get myself down the stairs but the first one than can will get to take me home from #2048." It worked.

Note at mailboxes said “Can’t get myself down the stairs but the first one than can will get to take me home from #2048.” It worked.

My daughter helped me pull out several large boxes of craft materials from the far reaches of my garage. I rent a garage to store things so as not to be too cluttered up here. Riiight! One of the boxes was from a new toilet if that gives you any idea of the size. When I moved out of my home 4 years ago, we pretty much tossed stuff in boxes and hoped for the best. I wasn’t in the best of shape then. The other box was almost that large and I have found several boxes of old photos as well. Have you ever started looking at photos and been able to stop? I spent a whole week going through, sorting a bit and tossing a lot of duplicates.

No more tea cups for this cabinet. Still hunting paints and glue gun. Have glue!!!

No more tea cups for this cabinet. Still hunting paints and glue gun. Have glue!!!

With all the joining I have done to make friends in my new home, I’ve overloaded myself a bit with classes and projects. I’ll have some photos of the finished work shortly. Little by little, I’m starting to find how much I can do and what needs to be eased off from. Setting limits is something new for me.

This replaced the recliner in my bedroom. Put it together myself but took a few adjustments. Still WIP here.

This replaced the recliner in my bedroom. Put it together myself but took a few adjustments. Still WIP here.

But the kind of balance I’m talking about here has more to do with my Bells Palsy than my creative endeavors. Since acquiring health insurance this year, I have the opportunity to get some medical assistance for the balance. A new acquaintance at the quilting group let me know my HMO had vestibular integration therapy available. The first job was to get a different primary care doctor. The last one was quite dismissive. That done, I requested some therapy to get my eyes working together again which in turn, helps with my standing balance. If I’m in a dark room, I start to tip over and closing my eyes, well let’s just say that’s a dangerous move when standing.

After a trip to a neurologist, (the third one in four years) I was allowed to get physical therapy for my balance. I have exercises to do twice a day. Some are standing holding onto my kitchen counter for support. (I don’t have a chair) The rest are sitting and turning my head and looking up and to the side that is unaffected. I’ve found I must do these when I don’t have to drive anywhere. Oddly, they add to the dizziness but I’m going to do whatever I can to get well.
Even after four years, I am noticing movement in some parts of my face that was flaccid and I can almost make a complete smile. Still a bit odd-looking but hey, I’m happy with any improvement.

Flowers from my new friends garden. Made me feel better immediately.

Flowers from my new friends garden. Made me feel better immediately.

Funny how much I took for granted before Bells hit like a hammer. Unfortunately, healing of any nature still requires lots of rest. I’m not a fan. Moving and doing have been how I lived in the world, now I rest a whole darn bunch. Hang in there with me a bit longer. We shall see how effective these exercises are.

Have you ever taken your health for granted and wound up with a major wakeup call? Do you believe your health is connected to your emotions and what’s going on in life or just something that happens?

A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses.

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

Comments on: "In Search of Better Balance" (12)

  1. I’m glad you are keeping busy Marlene and finally getting some more help. I do hope the exercises help you. As for getting a wake up call, oh yeah, when I got diabetes about 7 years ago. Now that was a major one. And yes, I do think emotions play a bigger part than people think. You take care of yourself and keep in touch. Big hugs.


  2. I think clearing out/changing things up is always a sign that something is on the mend. 🙂 Please don’t stress about your posts, I am sure your faithful readers will be here whenever you are able to get to your blog 🙂

    I know that my health is connected to my emotions – no doubt about it! I also know that when I believe I can be well and concentrate on that – and talk about health rather than illness, than I improve more rapidly. Lately of course I have been learning all about which foods make me well and which foods make me ill. I think of my food now as goodness and poison. I have learnt to choose – and I have also learnt to take the consequences when I make the wrong choice 🙂

    Community and support is so important for all of us and it is so good that you are getting out and about and joining in with different things. And as you so rightly say, balance is so important! Only you know what is right for you. I’d urge you [if I may] to do it with cheer and do not concern yourself with what used to be or what others may think. Be true to yourself first!

    Be patient Marlene, concentrate on what is going well in your life and all your blessings and health will return even quicker. I am sure of this.

    I have come to see through my own journey that illness can be a blessing, offering us the opportunity to learn how to love and care for ourselves and what we must do to honour our spirit. Have fun, enjoy your friends old and new, those flowers are gorgeous too.

    I look forward to hearing more from you when you are ready. xoxo


    • Thanks for reading Pauline. I agree about food. I pay when I’m not careful. But mostly I pay attention to my state of mind. Staying happy and relaxed is essential now. Learned the hard way. I always want to post good news. The doctors have no expectation of wellness and healing for me but each week, I continue to see improvement. Even tiny improvement is encouraging so I don’t give up and have started advocating for myself more. I could do it for my kids, now I have to do it for myself. I’ve written at length about the blessings that have come from this so I have no sympathy for myself. I’m fascinated by this journey though. Have learned so much from it. Too bad I couldn’t learn the lessons without it but oh well, whatever it takes to get though to me. 🙂 Relax is an unfamiliar word in my life. I must use it more.


  3. Thinking of you! Hugs, Katherine


  4. Looks like you’re getting the jobs done that make your life more enjoyable and that is just awesome Marlene. I love what you’re doing with your craft supplies. I do find that the things I tuck away or store away never get used. I like to see what I have, it gets those creative muscles working I think.

    I’m really happy you’ve been able to choose another healthcare provider too. I’m a believer that, if something’s not working for you, change it. That goes double for your health. I think Dr’s are a little like teachers. Some you get a lot out of and others you don’t. You’re taking on a lot and never ever feel bad for less posting. We all know where to find you 😀

    I’ve been relatively lucky health wise. I did endure 10 years of peri-menopause before I decided to get on board with HRT treatments. I thought I could do it without help, I was wrong. It got so I was hot flashing every 20 minutes and never having more than 2 hours sleep at a time. Silly me. I’ve been on HRT for 2 years and feel like a new person. Sleep is so important to your emotional well being. I think I’m far more content.

    Think about enjoying the good days. Do you keep a journal hon? When I get the odd doldrums (as everyone does), I like to read thru my ‘Amazing’ journal. It always puts a smile on my face. Big hugs to you Marlene. You’re amazing for what you’ve accomplished and more importantly, what you have planned for yourself. Never stop planning xoxK


    • Thanks you for inspiring me to use the china cabinet for the crafts. I’m looking for a couple of stools to work at the cutting table while I do my crafting. I hate that there is carpet in that room but I’ll look for something to put down over it. I’m a messy painter. Yes, I do journal. Every Single Day! Going back is an eye opener, I do agree. I have notebooks everywhere, even in my bed. My apartment drives my sister crazy. She’s a minimalist, I’m…not. I collect to craft with. I do know about the sweats. I didn’t take anything but insisted that my mother get something. Dad was getting ready to leave and she didn’t know what was happening to her. Wow! that was a fun time. The doldrums have been a perpetual part of my life. Meds don’t work anymore but I’ve noticed if I keep my food clean, I do so much better. Hard when you are celebrating something though. I just love good food. So I though it out and only indulge on rare occasions now. No more till Thanksgiving for me. Writing and connecting are the biggest help as you point out. Thanks so much for reading. Hugs, M


  5. Marlene, I’m so happy to hear you’ve found a new doctor and one that encourages PT. That is great news. Be sure to let him/her know that you are feeling dizzier with the movement. Perhaps they can make an adjustment.

    I’m glad you aren’t giving up. I don’t think the doctors should give up on you either. I’m delighted for the improvements in your facial muscles and your smile. That’s the best part of all.

    Using your hutch for craft supplies is brilliant. I like that you have so many things at eye level, too. Well done.

    As for the chair, that made me smile. It’s always nice to see something go to a good home.



    • Thanks Alys. I was happy to see the chair go and Tuesday at quilt group I learned the name of the maneuver the physical therapist should be using. I will mention it next week when I go back. Being around people I don’t know well is always very stressful for me but I keep doing it because there is great benefit to it. The inspiration for using the china cabinet came from Boomdee. I kept looking at those tea cups and realizing I had no table to enjoy tea at for now. So now I can see my craft supplies. Still have paints and misc to unearth but that will wait for the next surge of energy and dry weather. 🙂 I don’t know about those silly doctors but I fully intend to get well. Thanks for reading.


      • Hurray for you! I read many of the other comments on this thread and agree that a positive mindset works wonders. You’re not giving up…and it shows. I”m very happy about that.

        That Boomdee is full of great ideas. Good for you for taking that idea and making it happen. One of the joys for me when I work with organizing clients is re-purposing furniture in new and different ways. It’s fun to see all the ideas on Pinterest too.

        I’m glad to hear you got more info on the PT move. Well done, well done!

        I think most of us have a degree of discomfort around strangers, but I know, especially with my oldest son, that it can be quite debilitating for some. I’m glad you are putting yourself out there and finding your community.


  6. Our health is a great blessing, that we don’t really understand until it is questioned.

    Glad to see you are doing well!



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