Looking for answers to life's questions

Another Mother’s Day come and gone. I’m hoping everyone had a wonderful day. This includes those that have mothered pets or even a creative idea into fruition. You can mother lots of things or people. I have had many surrogate moms in my life. I would not be who I am without them so never underestimate your value to mother a middle aged woman or a lonely child. Mothers of every kind are valuable beyond belief.

I had an extra special day. My daughter took me for High Tea in downtown Portland at the Heathman Hotel. We took the MAX (intercity train) downtown and then a streetcar to our favorite metaphysical bookstore before tea. We had other reasons to celebrate but that will be another post very soon. Tea was wonderful and my daughter was so happy to finally be able to afford to do something special for me. She has struggled for the last few years with unemployment or underemployment. There was some discomfort on my part with her spending so much for the lovely tea, but the look on her face erased that.

It tasted even better than it looked. Yum.

It tasted even better than it looked. Yum.

My son sent me a special digital card that I will share at a later date and some kindle books I had on my wish list as well as all the love he could squeeze through the phone lines. He reminds me daily that I’m a good mom and valued. What more could a mom ask for. I guess it would be to have them both close by. One can only hope.

Hats are necessary at tea.

Hats are necessary at tea.

What makes a good mother? I’ve worried myself over that question for over 40 years. Yes, I’m that old. I’ve learned from my children some of what they appreciated about their mother. They seem most happy when I stood up for myself or for them. I’ve been a bear when it came to their care. They appreciate that I’m willing to push out of my comfort zone regularly and be fearlessly independent but ask for and accept help when needed. In essence, I want my children to be as proud of me as I am of them. They both have huge hearts and are fearlessly honest. If I can measure up even a little to who they think I am, I’ll be happy. Being a mom has been my greatest desire, delight and accomplishment.

My favorite color roses from my favorite daughter.

My favorite color roses from my favorite daughter.

There has been a lot of help along the way. I thank everyone who helped me be the best mother I could be with what I had to work with and I thank the two wonderful adult children that made it so easy. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

What do you think makes a good mother?

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

Comments on: "In Search of a Great Mother’s Day" (15)

  1. Marlene, it is so good to see ourselves through the eyes of our kids…they love us just like we are. They see past our faults and shortcomings. I’m very grateful for that. My kids give me a better perspective of myself. Glad you had such a lovely time at the Heathman!

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  2. Amen to all you said Marlene! My daughters remind me on a daily basis that I am loved and honoured and it is an on-going gift having them so actively present in my life. I did not have a good mother and had to learn how to be one with no real role model – I made a lot of mistakes! They taught me well however and I remain eternally grateful to them for pulling me onto the right path 🙂

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    • Thank you Pauline. I as well had a mother that didn’t know how. She did her best but I was lucky to find others to teach me. Mom and I had a reversal of roles her entire life. Dad was just not there as the military had him away physically and emotionally. I know how blessed I am to have 2 of the greatest kids ever. Well, not counting yours of course. 🙂 It’s never about what they do for me on mother’s day. It’s about who they are and who they made me. Life is good.

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  3. Sounds like you had a wonderful Mother’s day! Good for you! It couldn’t have happened to a nicer lady. 🙂

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    • Thanks Jackie. I was one lucky lady when it came to kids. They came into the world extra special. All I had to do was let it shine through. They make everyday mothers day. But the truth is, I could never give birth to the kind of stories you do. You have an amazing gift.

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  4. I’m so glad you let your daughter treat you to a fancy tea. I’m glad to hear things are on the up for her, and I know that makes your life happier too.

    I love high tea. I think it’s a fabulous tradition.

    You’ve raised wonderful children, without the benefit of a good example. Good for you for overcoming your unhappy past, and going on to raise two wonderful, loving children.

    The flowers are lovely. I’m also intrigued by the handkerchief dress just behind them.

    Thanks for sharing your experiences, MH.

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    • I’m a bit scatterbrained right now. Missed answering the part about the handkerchief dress. I think they are made from old linens buy a couple of ladies that I saw at a quilt show. They were $25 including the wire mannequin. I had a hard time choosing only one. No web site but they have e-mail address if you are interested.

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  5. PS I love your photo, too.

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  6. Aww, what a fabulous day you had. It looked pretty posh with that tower of goodies. The first photo was a hoot with you hidden by a tier of pastries…like you’re in witness protection or something. Then there you are in all your regal cuteness 😀 Congratulations for being a mom your kids are proud of and enjoy spending time with.
    I guess I’m mom only to all the lovely critters I have or have had in my life. I don’t ever feel left out though because everyone we know has had kids, mostly grown up now. Time flies hey? One minute you’re filling the kiddy pool and the next they’re buying you tea and scones xoxo Lucky you!

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    • Thanks sweety. I think Blossom and Petals would take you to tea if they had an allowance. Something to think about. Some of us gave birth to humans, some to wonderful ideas, music, art or stories. I believe in our souls we are all mothers in one way or other. I’ve mothered many children that were not my own. It’s funny how I held my children’s hands when they were little. Now they hold mine. I would love to birth some of those creative wonders you turn out. Be proud sweet girl, be proud.

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  7. Hey, I like that idea. Giving birth to creativity. Actually, when Mr B comes home from work, we all bounce to the door and I tell the kitties, “Daddies home” They get ear scratches and I get my hug & a kiss. So we really do think of them like our kids, I guess the fickled finger of fate gives some of us kitties and some get kiddies. xoK

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