Looking for answers to life's questions

Blogging 101 assignment: Write on the daily prompt on truth serum, who would you give it to (with permission) and what questions would you ask? Make it personal.

I would bet most everyone has seen the movie “Liar Liar” with Jim Carrey. It was a silly movie but spoke volumes about our culture. I laughed during the movie, then went home and cried. Speaking the truth was something I had to teach myself to do.

If I had truth serum, I would take it myself. I was taught early in life to evade the truth in favor of saying what others wanted to hear. Even when I spoke my truth, no one would listen or the consequences were dire. The person I lied to the most was quite obviously myself.

I’ve learned over many decades to read people and I can usually tell when I’m being lied to. I was not as good at recognizing when I was lying to myself. Telling the truth no matter what, is a skill that I have been working on for many years now. My kids taught me how to do that. They are remarkably honest and forthcoming no matter what the circumstances. How did that happen? Maybe because I was always delighted when they told the truth. Discipline was milder when the truth was told.

What questions would I ask myself? There is only one that still needs to be answered at this point in life. It’s the same one many of us don’t know how to answer.

What would make me so excited about life that I wouldn’t have to drag myself out of bed in the morning? Followed quickly by, what am I really in search of? Why do I keep eating junk when I know it’s bad for me? Am I insane? Crud, I already know the answer to the last question. So do you, I bet. I’m a writer after all. No truth serum necessary on that one.

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

Comments on: "In Search of Truth Serum" (12)

  1. Dear heaven Marlene – I thought you were too busy nesting yo write blog posts and now you throw two really good, thought provoking ones out in the same evening! Yikes!

    And this one I know so well – what a good question to ask ourselves! I have learnt to put it this way ‘Why don’t I love myself enough to ……’ [add in whatever issue I am sabotaging myself with currently].

    It is our real, life’s work to learn to love I believe. Unconditionally, extensively and inclusively. All things, all people – and we must first love ourselves in order to be able to do this freely. Some people think love of self is the same as egoistic self-love or narcissism and is not ‘humble’ enough for them. I tell them to think then of honouring the self, the path, the spirit – sometimes it seems to help. For me the other important thing is to remember to be grateful for all I have and all I am. It is all gifts, and life could be much harder, much poorer, much worse than it is – when I remember to count my blessings before I get out of bed in the morning I have a very nice day. When I wake up feeling a little Eeyor-ish I have to work so much harder – I’ve found if I stay in the lack, life becomes quite hard and not enjoyable. I prefer to stay in gratitude when I can. Sometimes I do and sometimes I don’t. Whichever it is, it’s okay and I trust I will get myself back to where I like to be eventually. All things pass 🙂

    Excellent post Marlene, thanks for making me think! xoxo

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    • Thank you so much Pauline, for the compliments. I went back and added a line to this one this morning. I was so tired last night and up way past my bedtime. You are so correct in your philosophy. I agree with every word. Practicing that, tends to be more challenging. I talked to myself all the way through the grocery store this week and bought nothing unkind. Small steps to centering. Hugs to you and the fuzzy family.

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  2. You’re on fire Marlene ! I can’t imagine a world of constant truth, my goodness what a different day we’d all have. I honestly think, it’s better to focus on the positive, if asked a tricky question, rather than offend. For example, say a dear friend buys a new blouse and it’s not my tastes or I think it’s horrible. I would more likely say something like, “you have such style” or “I’m seeing that colour everywhere’s, it’s so hot right now”. Why burst their bubble? If they’re like me, too sensitive, they might be really hurt.
    I think truthiness, as Steven Colbert calls it, is a double edged sword. Use it for good and never for malice.
    In regard of being truthful too myself, when the chips are down I think I can always see the right answers. Years ago, while I was going thru that heart wrenching divorce, I was seeing a professional. Someone who could help disseminate all the babble and nonsense and help me set goals. She asked me, “so what’s great about being married to Mike?” At that moment, I couldn’t honestly think of anything substantial. I realized I’d been lying to myself about a lot of things. Sometimes the truth can be too scary and I need to help to accept it. Wether it’s standing on a scale or making life changing discussions, for me, it’s better to ask for help. Is that because I prefer to wear rose coloured glasses? Maybe. I sure wouldn’t want to take truth serum though, you’re a brave one xoxox

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    • Being truthful and tactless are different. I’m with you on saying things kindly. But that’s what I mean about people who don’t want the truth. They want to hear what they want to hear. I had come to that verbal agreement with my last husband when I asked if he really wanted the truth, He turned and walked away. I had a LOT of therapists in my life and have one now. I am learning to stay in my truth, kindly but continue to stand my ground. I ended the 23 year marriage when I knew I was living a lie that just couldn’t go on. The male marriage counselor just shook his head and said my husband was the carrier of the stress and not affected by it at all. He couldn’t help us. Once again I was told I knew what I had to do. I don’t care about anyone else telling the truth. I just need to be aware of mine. It’s not always pretty.

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  3. Sometimes you just need to give yourself a hug. There is a wonderful meditation you can do over the course of time where you put yourself back at a young age, see yourself clearly, and give that younger self the love she needed at the time. For only you know exactly what she needed and now as an adult looking back, you can embrace her and give her that love. Over a period of time, continue to go back to your younger self at different ages and do the same thing for each year. It is a wonderful exercise and allows you to love and forgive yourself in ways you couldn’t do before. Then give gratitude for another day. A day more perfect than you could ever have imagined. Set the tone and see how you can change your world.

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    • Thank you for such a beautiful, thoughtful comment. I so much appreciate that and your reading. There were no hugs for my younger self. I’m always annoyed when people say to go back to your childhood to find your playful best self. For me, that is now, in this moment. I love and cherish each day and quietly look at what my truth is. I live in gratitude for each moment though I often fill them too full. Mindfulness is a bigger part of my day than ever. The last part of my journal each morning is my gratitude list.

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  4. Your writing gets more intriguing. Keep it up…the truth serum seems to be working!

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  5. I know when I ‘keep eating junk, even though I know it’s bad for me’, it’s because I’m tapping into an ancient system that worked in the past. Food=reward or food=stress reliever. I’m working hard at changing the ideas behind it and that is what’s helping me. I saw a bag of M&Ms at Target last night and thought “those would taste wonderful.” I was able to quickly follow up with “I’m not doing that anymore. It’s no good for me.” I wish you luck on the journey. I know you’ve tapped into those reserves before and lost lots of weight. With the added stress of your weather, the bugs, a ‘roommate’ that will eventually need to go, it makes sense. I hope you can find the inner voice that soothes your soul. Marlene.

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    • And a good therapist helps. Found the perfect one which is why the eating is better. Yes, food is a stress reliever for me too. Just doesn’t work long term. Doing pretty good again. Wishing you rain and cool. Hugs

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      • I’ll take that hug and will let you know that your rainy day wishes have not gone unnoticed. We have rain in the forecast for tomorrow. I’ll let you know!

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  6. A thought-provoking and moving post. I like your blog and will be following you now. Thanks

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