In Search of the Tally

I read a comment on another blog I follow where one blogger is lamenting how little they have accomplished lately. We set such high expectations for ourselves and then beat ourselves up because we have not met those expectations.

my tree is up and tips a little to one side like me.

I’m no different but I’m trying to take a different tactic when I start the mental abuse of myself. Yes, it’s self- abuse and most of us are very good at it. Every time I start beating myself up for what I have not accomplished by the required December 24th date, I start the list of things I have accomplished.

Decorations are up. This is what I do with old books.

I’m usually behind this time of year. I have presents that need to be mailed and aren’t even wrapped. I’ve e-mailed a note of apology already. My mind has been elsewhere. You’ve heard the phrase, “of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most”. Well, mine wandered off alone and I’m still looking for it. I baked banana-nut bread the other day and somehow couldn’t figure out why it wouldn’t look done. I kept adding a few more minutes but still it looked undone. I had in my mind that it baked 30 minutes when in fact, it needed an hour. I’ve baked that bread for over 40 years. What the heck is going on in my brain?

We made coal for the bad kids. Now that was fun.

I got the quilt top started for quilt group enough to show some progress. I managed to get deviled eggs ready for writing group pot luck and a gift bagged for a friend’s new baby. That’s where I lucked into a bottle of homemade Limoncello from a good friend. Now that’s a very generous person. I had a tiny sip. It was luscious.

The problem comes because our hearts want to do more and our bodies just say “not now”. My mind wanders off for a rest from going to too many directions but things are getting done. The Christmas cards were mailed so all those I care about and those friendships I want to cultivate would know that I’m thinking of them. I actually send out lots of cards all year but this time of year gives extra meaning to it.

There are only a couple of presents under my tree from blogging friends and my former in-laws. My den door had lots of cards taped up so I can see them as I sit to write. The number of blogs I want to get read is staggering but I’ll have lots of time later this week to catch up.

I can see them each time I sit a few minutes.

My son won’t make it for Christmas, maybe not even till after new year’s day, but he will eventually get here and the tree will still be up, the cookies will taste all the better and our hearts will be even more welcoming.

My tally says I’m doing well enough under the circumstances and I’ve decided to just relax and enjoy what’s on the plus side. I can almost guarantee, this time next year, I can reprint this blog as it will probably still apply. All I can say is I’m doing the best I can and so is everyone else. So please enjoy the family, friends, sappy Christmas movies, indulge a bit and smile a lot. Tis the season for good cheer and that means to yourself as well.

Are you being as kind to yourself as you are to others? How does your tally stack up?
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, Happy Hanukkah, Happy New Year.

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself