Why on earth did I pick Halloween to start a blog? Was I on a sugar rush or just enjoying the festivities of the ghoulish decorations at my son’s house while living with him.
Would you have asked her for candy?
Five years ago I was extremely debilitated by many unusual symptoms of Bells Palsy. I could no longer drive and as a passenger, I had to close my eyes, especially at night. I couldn’t sew because seeing the needle move up and down turned my brain into mush with an odd nausea. Television had its own terror. If things moved too fast on the screen, I had to close my eyes and look away. The cane is still necessary to keep me balanced and upright. The symptoms aren’t gone but they are far better.
Standing guard
The symptoms were a reflection of my life. Writing was all I had left to pull the terror of where I was in that moment into a cohesive plan for some kind of a future as a 62 years old freshly divorced and debilitated woman. Social Security advised I qualified for disability. I was not employable. That was scary enough.
The very act of writing helped train my damaged brain to find words again. Mimicking a stroke in many ways, this virus left my brain unable to put full sentences together without long pauses. I couldn’t find words I knew were there. Friends and family started finishing sentences for me. My writing was simpler five years ago. Gradually, I’m making progress, I hope.
This spider is tickling my nose.
In five years, I’ve found an online support community of bloggers. Who knew such a thing existed? Every time I got discouraged, there would be a comment, e-mail or even happy snail mail loaded with lovely things to cheer me on.
Corny wants a book with his treats
I scrounged together enough money after the home I shared with the last husband sold to put a down payment on a small manufactured home for myself, my books, fabric and other crafting tools. Slowly, I’m able to do little bits at a time of my cherished creative endeavors. Making this house my home has taken a lot of energy. Naps are on my daily agenda when tackling any project. It’s the brain that gets tired before the body so I’m exercising my brain as much as my body.
Got the borders, back and binding on the panel to that I quilted enough to hang by the sleeve on the back. It’s said to be glow in the dark.
This Halloween will be different again from the last. Aren’t they all? Not so many outside decorations as we’re having the wettest October on record and today brought high winds. Power has been intermittent. Inside, I’m ready for any brave little goblins that make it past the real bugs and spiders out there. It’s so warm, they have swarmed like an apocalyptic army. They scare me more than zombies any day.
Witchy Poo and her albino pumpkin are inside this year.
I’m curious to see what the next five years will unfold. Heck, I’m curious to see how today will unfold. Thank you all for being on this journey with me and cheering me on. Have a Happy Halloween with lots of sweet treats and no tricks.
No candy in this pumpkin
Is there anything that scares you more than a zombie apocalypse?
From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself
insearchofitall 
Comments on: "Happy Halloweeny Anniversary" (79)
Your words are hopeful and inspiring.
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Thank you and I’m wishing you all the hope and inspiration as well. Bells isn’t life threatening, just lifestyle impairing. I count my blessings for that. I do not expect the what remains to go away, just continue to retrain my brain to work around it.
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Happy Blogaversary and Happy Halloween dear Marlene. Thanks for sharing your story with us as you are an inspiration to us all! ♥ So grateful to know you! xo
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Thank you so much for stopping by and the kind words. They are appreciated. Have a wonderfilled week ahead.
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Happy Halloween, Marlene! 👻
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Hope you are having a fun time too.
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I am! 😉
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Happy anniversary, Marleen. It’s wonderful that you have come so far in the last five years. Here’s to many more years of blogging and creating.
Personally I loathe Halloween and will have nothing to do with it, but that’s just me… bah humbug!
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You make me laugh. It’s not my favorite either but my kids have always loved the creativity in it. It can be somewhat contagious in that I love making silly things for the holiday. I love to see the little ones all dressed up and pretending. It’s so good for them. Thanks for the good wishes and stopping by. Have a wonderfilled week.
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Happy Anniversary, Marlene. Enjoy the day! 🙂
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Thank you, Karenlee. The rain is letting up and it may be a dry treating time. 🙂 Yay for the kids.
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It rained here a lot last night but not today, not much so far. Just got in from Florida on Saturday late and is the reason I’ve been absent. I am working on a post with lots of pics. Loved your photos (and is that lady in the chair you?). ❤ Have a great Halloween! ❤
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The lady in the chair was my daughter. 🙂 This year she is going as the crazy cat lady at work. Apparently won for most creative. It’s her favorite holiday.
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Just got home from our local bank where three of the ladies who work there are cats. Popular this year. I don’t dress up anymore–although you saw those pics from last year–or decorate much. I refuse to buy candy since we live in the country and never get trick-or-treaters. If I do buy some, we eat the whole pile.. 😦 I try to occupy myself with other things. 🙂
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Like you, I usually eat the whole pile too. We had a few kids last year and may have a few more this year since it’s not raining. I’ll give any candy that’s left over to my niece this weekend when she visits or my daughter to take to work for her co-workers. I’ve never dressed up for Halloween and didn’t do it as a kid more than a couple of times. My kids both really love to get creative with the costumes.
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BTW My daughter is allergic to cats so she has none. 😦
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I’m so glad you got a Halloween bug up your butt and started a blog. 🙂 Have a wonderful day Marlene and may there be many more projects for you to start and finish. ❤
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Thanks, Jackie. Finish is the operative word here. Ha, Halloween bugs. I so wish I could share those. 😦 What else do you do when you spend most of your time sitting down so you don’t fall over but write a blog. And I had TS to help me. 🙂 Happy Halloween.
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Thank you so much for sharing your story with us! What a long journey you have had, but there you are sending us love through your blog!
Happy Blogiversary and Yay for your blog!
Linda
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Thank you, Linda. I’m glad you were able to stop by. It has been an incredible journey. Blogging has made it so much easier.Happy Halloween.
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I think, after reading this post that it is clear your writing ability and your positivity are both moving ahead in leaps and bounds! It has been a long hard road hasn’t it, but illness comes with a hidden blessing too – for it teaches us that we must look after our bodies and souls better than we were. Taking a nap every day sounds like a jolly good thing to do! Here’s an adage I was recently offered: ‘If you feel like moving a ton of concrete today, then do it. If you don’t feel like moving a bucket of concrete today, then don’t. Pay attention!’ It’s become my little mantra 🙂 Here’s to an even better next five years xoxo
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Thanks so much Pauline. Your card went to the post office today. Wonder how many days it really takes to go that far. I am soooo much better than when Bells first hit. And it was a blessing in so many ways. I had devoted my entire life to taking care of others at the expense of my nervous system. Funny how that last nerve was the facial nerve that let me know enough was enough. I’m learning how to care for myself better though it’s still a constant lesson. Paying attention isn’t as easy as it sounds so I’m working on it. Sometimes laying down for 10 or 20 min is enough to restore my energy. Sometimes I need more or none at all. I’m finding that when I don’t listen, I pay the consequences. It looks like the rain may let up enough for the children to run the neighborhood. I’m ready either way.
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Happy Anniversary, Marlene! I’m thrilled to hear how the blogging community and writing helped you through your struggle with Bells. I’m happy you jumped on the sugar high. Take care of yourself, my friend. We all love you and want you around for another five years! Happy Halloween!
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Thanks so much, Jill. I don’t know where I would have been without blogging. There was so little I could do in the beginning and this helped me keep pushing to do more each day. Still a work in progress. Happy Halloween to you as well.
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❤
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We are all a work in progress. Some work at it 😜 more than others. Lovely post.
PS Halloween has no fears for my granddaughter. It was her 17th birthday yesterday.
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Another Halloween Birthday! Wish her happy birthday for me. I know someone else with that birthday. 🙂 Yes, we are all works in progress. I hope to keep progressing. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by. Have a wonderfilled week.
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This is a very moving account of what is an incredible tale of the human spirit and resilience. Sending you good thoughts for continued improving health and lots of happy days.
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Thank you so much for stopping by. I appreciate the kind words and caring thoughts. The Bells was why I started blogging. The connections I have made are the reason I still do the writing.
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As the saying goes, “You’ve come a long way, baby!” What a resilient person you are, to fight back from all of that. And I can absolutely see how blogging would play an important role–I’ve been so pleasantly surprised at the support and friendship I’ve received here–who knew?! Here’s to the next 5 years–blog on!
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Thank you, Kerry. You either rise above your adversities or you let them take you down. I have too much I want to do still to let it suck me under. I’ve made many wonderful friends here.
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I am so happy I got to know you Marlene, although it seems rather recently. I happy to learn you are indeed improving and I wish you nothing but happiness and more health. Coming back from a serious illness in 2010 myself ,I know a little bit of what you are going through. So cheers to the next five years and today and thank you for your virtual friendship and encouragement! xo Johanna
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I’m sorry to hear you had to struggle through something as well. This hit in 2010 as well but I didn’t get to start blogging till a year later. Most people get over Bells in a matter of weeks to months. I’ve spent time here trying to educated about how big a roll stress plays in illness and it’s intensity. It was a very isolating illness and in my search for answers, I found blogging. It’s been a joy to find so many wonderful people to share and learn from. You are a wonderful artist and will go far if you choose to go in that direction. Thank you for stopping by.
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I agree Marlene, stress is not a good contributor when fallen ill!! At one point I decided to make my home into a little cocoon and ban all negativity. I did not watch the news for a long time, no voilent/sad movies/books and when people visited me, I made clear what I was doing before hand…so no wining and griping. It helped me so much!! So I can understand how hard it must have been that your divorce was at the same time. you were not able to protect yourself. So I am happy you found an extra safe haven here in the blogsphere!!!
i am also happy you enjoy my work so much. My pace of living is incredibly slow but I am pleased with that. So fame and fortune is not my goal but I really like to share my blog with people like your self! Love and peace to you from Ohio, Johanna
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Gah, bugs and heat! That’s a damper on the festivities. But looks like you went full speed ahead anyways. That was a pretty goolish costume 5 years ago, I’d probably be scared too. We had probably 150 – 200 kiddies at the door last night. They’d come in waves and the front street was packed. They were all so excited. One guy named Connor, was wearing commando gear, didn’t yell “trick or treat”, he yelled “do you have a cat?” at the top of his lungs! LOL, I laughed. I think he got a look of Petals in the window of the den and got mixed up and excited at the same time.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been hanging out here but I do remember some of your posts from back a couple of years. What I notice Marlenie-bean is the positive change in your confidence!! You’ve accomplished so much. With a home all your own too. I think you must be really proud and I hope you know how amazing you are.
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Thanks so much for your kind words, Kelly. We can grow or shrink as people. I choose to grow and keep working at it. Being on my own without all the negative input has helped a great deal. It cooled off enough last night to send the bugs to bed and the rain stopped. I had probably a dozen kids here. There are not that many that actually trick or treat here. 😦 I don’t think I could manage as many as you have. I’d get excited to see Petals in the window too. Hugs to you my friend. Sent a card your way yesterday.
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Oh!! A card!!! I’ll look forward to it Marlene 😀 Jim and I took turns so it wasn’t too bad handing out treats, but I was glad when we could relax and shut out the lights. 😀 xo K
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This is so inspirational 😃
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Thank you so much! Appreciate the visits.
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Marlene, I’m so glad you started blogging. Halloween is an interesting day to get started. I wish I had thought of it…though honestly how could I squeeze in one more thing. Ha! You’ve come a long way from those early days with Bells. My goodness I can’t even imagine how terrifying that must have been for you. I’m glad you’ve had steady improvement over time, but keep hoping that you’ll see a full recovery. I didn’t realize your marriage was ending at the same time. You’ve been through so much. You have a great writing voice, apparent from all the folks that follow and engage with you and your posts. You also leave amazing comments wherever you go. They’re kind, thoughtful, intelligent and engaging.
I smiled seeing all the Janet Evanovich books on your shelf. I’m a huge fan. We also have that exact same plastic skeleton, sans it’s head. We’ve had it for twenty years. I just put ours away today. What fun to see it there on your wicker chair.
I’m so happy you’ve settled into your own home in a pretty neighborhood with forests and rain and a garden and all sorts of things that you enjoy. You’ve hung your pretty lace curtains, arranged your books, set out some favorite bling and planted and cleaned and painted and organized. Most impressive.
I’m so glad you’re here.
Happy Blogoversary.
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Thanks so much for the encouragement you always give and for the visit. That skeleton belongs to my son who was here last Halloween. I had moved in with my son in early October while waiting for funds to come in so I could qualify for an apartment rental. He was able to help with the technical parts as I was still unable to do many things for myself then including drive. The divorce was the culmination of years of extreme stress built up and Bells brought it all out in the open. It was long overdue. Obviously. As for Janet Evanovich, I’ve read everything she has written. I love books that make me laugh. I wish I could say I’m all settled in but life is still keeping me on my toes for a bit longer. More changes. That’s how she rolls. Thank you again and giant hugs.
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Marlene, I’m sorry for all those years of stress. Is that what brought on the Bells? It’s a terrible way for life to let you know you are in over your head. You’re such a caring person. It pains me to think of so many unhappy years. I’m glad your son was there for you when you needed it the most. It must have been quite frightening for you at the time. When my sister was first symptomatic, but not yet diagnosed with MS, they had to rule out a stroke, a brain tumor, a heart attack and the like. In her case it took an MRI to confirm what they were starting to suspect. Unfortunately MS progresses and in her case, she started with Primary Progressive, not Relapsing Remitting. I’m glad you are feeling better and doing better. Big squishy hug back your way.
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On a scale of 1-10, I was at a 15 on the stress meter. I was melting down quickly and the next week, Bells. I picked men that duplicated how my parents treated me. You don’t see it until it’s too late and I am the type of person that doesn’t give up soon enough. I think stress is what brings on most illness if you look deeply enough. It seems to make the body vulnerable. I have a cousin in Australia that was just diagnosed with MS. She’s been ill with something most of her life. I’m sorry your sister has the worst kind of MS. I had the brain scan too. They had never seen a case of Bells like mine. Managing stress is always at the top of the list now which is why I like funny books. 🙂 Giant hugs back.
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Marlene, we are all a product of how we are raised. I think it takes a lot of years to sort some of that stuff out. I sure wish I had had the confidence in my youth that I have now, and the ability to see things clearly. I’m so lucky at this point in my life, but I “kissed” my share of toads, too.
I agree on the body/mind connection. Behavior too. In fact I think the top five causes of death can be largely reversed with lifestyle changes.
I hope you continue to see improvements with your health. You certainly get plenty of exercise, and you live in a beautiful community. Your kids support you and you have a nice social group. All those things make a difference. How is your vision?
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I married the toads. Duh. Didn’t have time to date and got talked into it both times. Men can be relentless in convincing you they are what you want and need. I see examples of body/mind connection everyday. Even this week. The man who sold me this house was having serious issues with park management, his wife divorced him and he couldn’t get listings because of his park problems. He was laying on the ground at the park entrance when I came back from errands on Wed. Heart attack I think during his morning run. Probably in his mid 40’s. The more I stand up for myself, the better I get. Vision is almost adequate. I can still see well enough to read. 🙂 I’m happy to surround myself with people and situations that create a peaceful place inside me. You are never too old to learn. 🙂 Have a wonderfilled weekend. Hugs. M
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Marlene, what shocking news to find the gentlemen on the ground last week. Did he survive the heart attack? Only in his forties? I guess he was in the running for the saying “a heart attack waiting to happen.” Good grief.
I am *so* happy to hear you say that the more you stand up for yourself, the better you get. What a fabulous testament to a life well lived. I hope the vision continues to improve. Adequate is ok, but I hope it can move beyond that.
Big squishy hugs, Marlene.
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It turned out not to be a heart attack. It was a suicide. Too sad for words. He was in good health but life had dealt him many blows. I’m sure his family is devastated. I get better all the time. Not giving up any time soon. 🙂
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Oh Marlene, what terribly sad news. What a difficult time for his family.
As for you, I know you’ll never give up. You’re strong and determined and that will continue to serve you well. You’re sweet and kind too. How lucky I am to know you.
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Thank you so much,Alys. Hugs.
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PS Yes! Janet E makes me laugh out loud. I love her style. I feel like I know her characters, too, after so many years of reading her books. Do you also read Sue Grafton? She’s not funny, but she writes amazing storylines.
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Yes, I do read and love Sue Grafton. I love her style. I read a lot of fluff that I can get inexpensively through Book Bub. Sometimes you just need a light read. It’s all on my e-reader. Even my son loves Janet E. He asked why I didn’t tell him she was so funny sooner.:)
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Marlene, I hadn’t realized you began blogging on Halloween, but it’s as good a day as any other I guess, I for one am thankful you did. Happy Anniversary/Halloween.
Sounds like the weird weather is still with us. Here it’s in the 70s during the daytime again and drops back to the 40s-low 50s at night. I was thankful for the warmer night sitting outside to hand out treats this year. It was the warmest Halloween in several years.
As for what scares me, I’d have to say losing my eyesight. As you have already faced serious vision problems I’m sure you understand the fear that sets in my heart. It’s one thing to have lost the ability to walk but to lose the activities I enjoy so much that keep me going would be a blow I’m not sure I would be able to get over.
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The weather is as scary as the election. It feels like the world has gone crazy. Halloween has never been a favorite time for me. But I could do little else then. I was still mostly required to sit still and couldn’t even watch tv. Reading was hard too. But I could make the print big enough to write. Had nothing else to do. My son helped me with the tech stuff as we moved in with him the first week of Oct. My daughter who is the witch in the photo drove me down. She was trying to find work somewhere and managed to get some for about 6 months before coming back to Oregon and finally finding work. I know what you mean about the vision. It scares me too. I have a neighbor who can’t see or hear much. Macular degeneration. I count my blessings every minute.
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Agreed. the weather and the election are two things I’d rather stick my head in the sand than think about. Unfortunately, I can’t ignore both, although I’m doing pretty good trying to avoid the majority of the news on the election front. I’ve determined that either outcome is bad it’s just how bad things will get.
It’s wonderful how much better you are doing now from then. I can’t imagine you having to sit by and watch while others fixed up your house. While the work has been long and hard I know you enjoy being able to do most of the work yourself.
I think the vision thing started for me when I met a woman, who became a good friend, who was blind then was diagnosed with MS. I couldn’t wrap my head around how horrible it would be to not be able to see where you were falling when the MS acted up. At the time I got around pretty well but because the doctors told me at age 4 that I would probably go blind if I lived long enough as my muscles weakened seeing her struggles really hit home.
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That poor friend of yours got a double whammy. So sad. I was supposed to be blind by the time I was 21 according to doctors. Shows you that the spirit is stronger than biology. That’s where I place my focus. That I can still see to read and write and do a little bit of the creative stuff is something I’m grateful for everyday. The mind can reshape DNA so don’t believe anything anyone tells you. Hang in there. You’ll make fools of all of them.
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Hearing your diagnosis just goes to prove the doctors know very little. I too was given a bad diagnosis when I was four. We were told I’d be in a wheelchair in two years and dead in ten. Ha! I didn’t need to use a wheelchair until I was 48 and I’m still kicking. Many years ago I heard a story about the way Japanese doctors treat terminally ill patients. They never tell their patients how long they have left because they believe the power of the mind can cause them to die on that schedule and want the patient to live as long, and well, as possible. As a result when doctors were asked how many of their patients died within the period of time their training told them they would they reported their patients lived far longer than they believed they would have.
Anyway, for me when the doctors gave me each new prognosis I would look them in the eye and tell them they were wrong and I’d prove it. I did each time.
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You keep showing them, Lois. It’s always mind over matter.
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Congrats Marlene! You are an inspiration to many and I’m glad to call you one of my long distance friends!
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Thanks so much Missy. Do you ever get to spend time up here anymore? It would be lovely to see you again.
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We do get up to PDX, usually on the fly, but I’d like to plan a time to come visit. It would be nice to talk face-to-face instead of via WordPress. 😊
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It would be lovely to meet for lunch somewhere when you do make it up. I still see Misty and Sabine every couple of weeks. Hopefully things will get quiet after the holidays.
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Happy Anniversary Marlene.. and I hope you enjoyed a wonderful Halloween.. I so loved that quilt and the way you all enjoy Halloween in the USA.. Even though here it is much bigger now it is still not on the scale over there..
I am so pleased you started your blog back then Marlene.. and I am delighted that your health and eyesight has improved to be able to take up your crafting again.. And those Power Naps I can fully appreciate 😉 🙂
And the WP community are just fabulous aren’t they? so supportive and willing us along..
Thank you for your visits too my friend.. I really appreciate the time it takes..
Sending Love and Blessings as I better get myself into gear and make dinner..
Love and Big Hugs
Sue xxx ❤
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Marlene, I came to your blog knowing that you’d had Bell’s Palsy, but didn’t know some of the rest of your story. You have come such a long way, and have accomplished so much in 5 yrs. You really are an inspiration.
By the way, your reply to a comment is similar to what I say to patient’s every day: It’s not life threatening, but it is definitely quality of life threatening.
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Mine is a rare case. Most Bells doesn’t manifest in this manner. It’s definitely affected my lifestyle but still hanging in there and getting better in tiny increments. I can’t give up hope even though the doctors gave up a long time ago. My life is what I make of it each day. I got Bells in Feb 2010 but didn’t start blogging for almost 2 years. I wasn’t well enough until then. It pointed out a lot of things in life that needed adjusting. Illness always has a gift if you are open to it. Thanks for stopping by. Hope you are doing well.
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Marlene, I’m another person who has benefited from your blog, your thoughts and story, not to mention your kind and caring comments on mine.No life is without challenge and something I’ve learned is that instead of looking for a life without stress, it’s best to learn to manage stress in beneficial ways. Sometimes that means avoidance (as with no tv or sad movies, etc.); other times, it’s finding the gift at the heart of it all. Not easy, by any means, is it?
For myself, creative pursuits help the most, but for now those are not so easy to do. Music is one of my greatest blessings and now that I can get to a small local branch I take the laptop and run a Runrig concert in the background as I work. Soon, I hope, I’ll be back to knitting and the like as well. Learning to replace negative thoughts and habits with positive, life-affirming ones makes a huge difference, too. I found some journals at a local dollar store, along with pencil crayons and fine line markers. I’ll be working with those soon, too. I also found some cute tiny cards (like recipe cards but a quarter the size) and double-sided tape. I’m so grateful for dollar stores!
Thanks for sharing your stories with us; you are a light to so many. I find that you inspire not only myself, but many others to go forward through whatever we are facing at the moment, and to do so with humour, not just a dogged persistence. Thanks for that, too.
I found you through Pauline, the Contented Crafter, and am so glad I did.
I wish you all the best with your continuing recovery. You are so right that we can reshape our DNA and that the doctors may be good consultants, but are often not so good as healers. Diagnosis is only a small part ofthe process and so often they get even that wrong.
Much love to you, Marlene, and a belated Happy Anniversary!
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Thank you so much for your kind words, Linne. It’s good to hear from you again. Pauline is a wonderful person. I love going to visit her. You are right on so many levels. Creative endeavors do help a lot, good music and a good support system. Doctors just aren’t trained well enough to deal with the human spirit. It can overcome everything. Along with some good inexpensive journals. I journal every single day along with my gratitude journal. Hope to see more of you.
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Marlene, very happy to read here you have improved such alot 🙂 Yes, illness often is a reflection of what’s going on in our inner world and obviously you are feeling better there. Take care, I need to come back and read your other posts!
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Thank you for stopping by, Wendy. I know how busy you have been. Sometimes, as in my case, the illness was a reflection of the chaos in my outer world internalized. I keep hoping for complete healing at some point in time. I know it can be done. There is a gift in everything so I keep wondering what I still need to learn from this. Wishing you all the best too.
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Hello beautiful Marlene…and happy Halloween (way late) and anniversary 😃 I loved this post and I love what you have accomplished in these five years. Sometimes life has a way of handing out some tough times…and then we have to get down to the business of working our way through it. It is up to us how we handle these times…and you my friend, have done it so eloquently and beautifully…I am proud of you!!! Much love…always 💜💜💜
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Thank you so much Lorrie, for your kind words. We all have some challenge. It IS how we handle it. I try to keep moving through. The blogging community has helped so much. Thank you for being part of mine. Love your little hearts. Giant hugs.
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Right back to you, Marlene 🙂
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Happy anniversary Marlene!
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Ahh Marlene, I am so very late here, please forgive me. I love your Halloween post, it is fun (great decs and love the quilt…did it glow in the dark, I wonder?…) but poignant and shows just far you’ve come in five years. Your writing inspires us all that no matter how bad things can get, we can pick ourselves up and begin again with a new life, just as you have shown us how. You should be so very proud of yourself. Happy Blogging Anniversary! I love blogging alongside you my friend ❤ And…just to prove how late my comment is, I am now wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving for tomorrow 🙂 xoxo
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Thank you for stopping by, Sherri. I know you have quite a full plate these days. No worries. You always have two choices when things beat you down. You can stay there or get up and move on. I’m a mover. 🙂 You too. Nice to travel with you as well. Hugs my friend.
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Ha…and so we keep moving my friend! I am still smiling at the thought of you and your daughter’s Thanksgiving… 🙂 ❤
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Wow, blogging turned out to be the medicine you needed! It is just wonderful that you discovered it. And you do a great job expressing yourself. I wasn’t reading 5 years ago, but it has been a couple years, and I never noticed a problem with finding words. So, just between you and me: no one can tell. 🙂
Halloween is my favourite holiday, and has been all my life. I love Easter too. Maybe I’ve just got a fierce connection to my ancestors’ pagan roots and I’m drawn to the ancient festivals of Samhain and Eostre.
What scares me more than a zombie apocalypse? My body breaking down before my mind does. I am so scared of being trapped inside my body. That’s why your story is inspirational to me. I will cling to the idea of finding my own healing process, like you did, to keep my life worth living once the old bunch of bones starts falling apart. It’s sort of silly to worry, because I am in great health physically, and it’s actually my mind that’s the biggest challenge, ha ha! Having a tight group of blogger friends has kept my spirits up more times than I can remember. When I go a whole month without blogging because I’m just too depressed, I *still* get periodic shout-outs from friends on my blog. It’s a constant support group.
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You and my daughter would get along famously. She had a pagan wedding and it really upset a few people. Not her mom though. Halloween is her favorite holiday too. I just never really experienced it till I had kids. Blogging friends have saved my slowly sizzling bacon more than once. I’ve learned that when I’m down, reach out. There are a lot of us hanging by fingernails some days. I’m always here. I just pray, “God, don’t let me lose my mind.” 🙂
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Since I haven’t been following you for the full five years I can only comment on how well you write now. Marlene, here I was thinking that you weren’t blogging much at all and was wondering how you were doing. Shame on me for not checking in on you sooner. You have been so busy while I was being so lazy….. Or maybe busy and other directions… who knows? Again you do have an ability to inspire and encourage others. What a lovely gift.
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We all have our limits to how much we can do. When the posts I was missing piled up into the hundreds across the holidays, I just had to delete them because I could not imagine catching up and they were weighing on my. I’ve been lucky to get one or two posts a month out though sometimes my brain feels like a sieve. My inspiration comes from others so I just pass it on.
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