Looking for answers to life's questions

A Different Me

I’ve been trying to visit new blogs when I get a chance; to get new perspective and a little brain stimulation. I tend to visit blogs that many of my readers visit because I think we may have something in common. The cleaning out processes I’ve been on has not failed to touch so many in blog land.

When I read Luanne’s post quite late in the game, it had me looking at what I was doing in a whole new light.

So, I started hunting through my photographs to see if I could find any that had me wearing something I truly loved. A dress I had made for me in a soft pink while living in Taiwan was a favorite for a while.

A different me. NCO club celebrating a friends adoption of a baby.

I was never one to be stylish. In school, I bought skirts in brown, black, and navy with several shirts to go with each. Basic and inexpensive. I always have had to buy my own clothing unless my mother made it for me. Mom was quite the seamstress and I was always proud to wear anything she made. Sometimes it was too fancy for school but I wore it anyway.

Light blue taffeta with scallops. Where are my glasses. Sister feeling uncomfortable in her homemade dress and petticoat.

Another Easter Sunday with new outfits all around. Mom even made the suit but the littlest brother wouldn’t stand for photo.

In one of incarnations during this lifetime, I studied color and image consulting. It took a year of intense training as it was extremely individualized. It was my favorite occupation except for one small hiccup. I was supposed to dress at least one or two steps up from my clients. That just wasn’t who I was. I loved finding the perfect colors to go with a person’s personality and energy level and help them find their style.

Mine would always be pragmatic and basic with a little fun in the mix. I had a number of outfits that I felt really suited my personalities. Most of us have many facets to our personality that can be expressed through our clothing.

I tended toward monochromatic outfits for a more slimming look

When the day came that I no longer did consulting or worked outside the home, I put all my special and well cared for clothes in a suitcase and carried them down to the Safe House auxiliary store for women who needed nice things to find jobs. I still miss the feeling I had when I wore them. The dressing up and feeling like I was seen.

As an older woman it’s easy to become invisible. That works for us sometime but I have my moments when the little cap I must wear most of the time is what draws a tiny bit of notice so I can give my best smile and engage in a happy exchange with a stranger.

 

Sipping tea in my trusty cap.

Today, the exchange was over the greeting card section at the market where a woman laughed out loud at one and I was approachable enough in my cap to share the laugh with her. I suggested she have a fun day as she walked on. My caps, cane and crooked smile must do the job of pretty skirts and shirts now. They tell people if you are friendly or not. The smile is still getting better after eight years of paralysis and I can now make my eyes smile a bit better too. A smile is always your best outfit.

How about you? Do you have a photo of you in a favorite outfit? That applies to men as well.

From my heart to yours,

Marlene Herself

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Comments on: "A Different Me" (90)

  1. Great photos, Marlene!

    Liked by 2 people

  2. I am not materialistic it image driven. At least I don’t think I am but I do think one feels more confident in clothes one likes. If you feel you look neat and smart, you can turn your mind on other matters. Basic mo ochromatic outfits consititute a classic timeless look. A smile can be and overrides all these things, Marlene. Keep smiling. It is an art that comes from the heart and should be practised all the time.

    Liked by 2 people

  3. You always look nice, no matter what you are wearing. 🙂 I never liked dresses and frills. God knows my mom tried. Patent leather shoes and all. I was too much of a tomboy for all that stuff. Still more comfortable in jeans and a Tshirt. Don’t see me changing this late in the game. lol

    Liked by 3 people

    • I’m more comfortable in jeans and a t-shirt now too but if I had a reason, (and I don’t) I love to dress to the nines and put on my jewelry. I must admit, I was very much a girl while my sister was anything but. That’s life. Room for all of us. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Marlene, I love, love, love seeing you in your beautiful finery. I recognized you as a young girl and again as a younger woman. What a delight. It is interesting how we become “invisible” as we age, as if being beautiful were the only important thing a woman could be. I wish I had more photos of me as a youngster. There are one or two blurry shots, no more. Your sister looks so unhappy in these pics. It hurts my heart to see her so. She’s lucky she had your love, but what a rough childhood to go through being someone you’re not. You have a winning smile which is no doubt what attracts people. As for that last photo, you must be having tea at Butchart Gardens. Am I right? xo

    Liked by 4 people

    • You are right on. My son and daughter made the trip up with me and I loved it as much the second time. I’d do it again. I have many photos of me standing behind the rest of the kids but mom loved to capture us in our new Easter outfits. I thought it was funny that we went to church every year on Easter and mom was an atheist.. Cracked me up. My sister hated her dresses but that’s all they had for her then. She could wear pants as a toddler but not at school age. Then of course when I was studying to be a hairdresser I practiced on her. Poor kid. I’m trying to make up for it now. 😉 I’ve been scanning in as many photos as possible before they deteriorate completely. My fixes don’t always work well as you can tell. ;( Hope you are doing well. Spring is here. 😉

      Liked by 2 people

  5. I’ve always looked like a stranger to myself in photos, and accordingly have very few… It’s interesting that I always had a yen for colour but lived and worked in cities where bright colours were not appropriate or encouraged. Now, I live in hot bright sunshine, and with grey hair, I can wear what I like. It’s delightful, but I still look like a stranger to myself in photos!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I agree that looking at old photos is like looking at a stranger. Who was that person and where did they go? I didn’t do much color until I started working and after doing color consulting, I learned to wear colors that suited me better. But always with the right amount of energy in the color. Now, I wear less color than when working. Opposite of you. 😉 I’m happy that you finally get to be more yourself.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Fabulous seeing you through the years Marlene – what a good idea to share these! Your poor little sister though, clearly unhappy in her finery. Sometimes it seems our parents have much to answer for. I love the photo of you smoking a cigar – there’s the snazzy younger you, I knew she had been around! I don’t have too many photos of younger me any more. I didn’t have many to start with being camera shy all my life, and what I had I gave to Joanna a while back when I was engaged in one of my clear outs. I had some favourite outfits when I was younger. Now I aim for comfort though I still like to add in a bit of gypsy style when I can. Like you I believe a smile goes a long way and is always the first thing people see. I don’t always succeed, but I want to leave folk happier for having stumbled across me in their day. To me that’s more important than what I’m wearing or what I look like.

    Liked by 2 people

    • My poor sister hated dresses but it was the cultural requirement back then. She always looked odd in them. I do prefer a gypsy style but seem to have difficulty making that happen. I wear WORK clothes everyday now. The kind you wear when you are scrubbing or planting. Nothing delicate and flowing. My prettiest things were never photographed and you can’t find pretty anymore. I don’t think I was ever camera shy. Just mostly taking the photos or in the back of a group. I agree with you, it’s always my intent to leave people happier for have crossed paths with me then before. I like to spread smiles rather than gossip. Makes the day fun. Have a good one, Pauline. Sending love and hugs.

      Liked by 1 person

  7. What a great range of styles. I have to say I’m a cap man these days and I love yours. Mum made all my trousers and jackets that gave me a very individual style as a teen going to uni… which sometimes made me stand out for the wrong reasons… I had courage but sadly not much sense… until the Textiliste took me in hand! And the look on your face clutching that cigar! There’s a ‘determined to enjoy yourself’ person there!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks for stopping by, Geoff. I’ve been wearing caps for the last 8 years since Bells Palsy left my nerve endings in my head so sensitive so I decided to make it a fashion statement. We can start wonderful conversations with strangers that way. I was fortunate that my mother had a sense of style during her sewing years. I do work at enjoying myself and a little libation helped that happen. I felt like a different person that night.

      Liked by 3 people

      • ah, wow, that must have been grim; I do some volunteering work with a 30 something who’s just recovering from Bells Palsy that froze half her face and that sounded awful so I sympathise massively. And yes, here’s to cap wearing!!

        Liked by 1 person

      • The thing about Bells is it hits everyone differently. I never recovered from the extreme symptoms. It left me profoundly dizzy so driving was and is still an issue and I walk with a cane to stay upright. It’s the same virus as shingles so never let yourself get seriously stressed. That can bring it on.

        Liked by 1 person

  8. i love this, marlene. my favorite outfit was from the 80s. i hd a perm, wore a vest, a shiny cream colored blouse, and a long, flowing skirt. i’ll never forget it.

    Liked by 3 people

    • I loved the clothes in the 80’s. Long flowing skirts feel like fun even now. I always had my hair permed then too. 😉 Interesting how clothes can make you feel about yourself or is it the other way around? We seek out clothing to express how we feel. Thanks for stopping by, Beth. Have a wonderfilled weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I loved this post, Marlene! The photos of you and your siblings certainly brought a smile to my face. You all were so cute! My favorite, you smoking the cigar. You remind me of a movie star, but I can’t think of her name. I have many photos of me with my mother and sister dressed in our Easter finest. Thank you for brightening my morning! xo

    Liked by 3 people

    • I was challenged to smoke one and I’d already had a little libation so I took a puff or two just for the photo. I have never liked the smell of them but we were so happy for our friends that I just went with the occasion. Luanne put up the challenge so I started and let it go where it wanted.

      Liked by 3 people

  10. A completely different look into your life, I love the photos Marlene!

    Liked by 2 people

  11. Look at your smile and twinkling eyes, Marlene! Your mother’s sewing is impressive. I know what you mean about certain clothing bringing out the ‘real you’. As I get older, I seem to care less about the clothing. I think it just means that after many decades, I have a strong sense of self. Make sense? I love, LOVE your old photos!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks so much, Jennie. I am in full agreement with you. I haven’t bought anything new in years. It’s all so ugly so I’m sticking with serviceable. I had to care more when in the world of work and my mother always made sure even though we had little, we were always well dressed. She hated to sew but saw it as a challenge and it gave her extra money by sewing for others. That is something I don’t do. Have a wonderfilled weekend.

      Liked by 1 person

      • You are welcome, Marlene. My teacher wardrobe is pretty simple and serviceable. My sisters can both sew, but not me. Keep sharing your wonderful stories and photos. Enjoy the weekend.

        Liked by 1 person

  12. Wonderful images, Marlene, and a delightfully written piece to read this Saturday morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. I’m mostly a jeans girl now, except in the summer when I wear lots of dresses that can blow around in the breeze. I love the photo of you from Taiwan – cigar and all! You have such a great way of weaving stories out of our everyday lives! Have a fabulous weekend, Marlene! And, keep smiling!!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you very much, Missy. I’d love to have dresses that blow in the breeze and have wanted to make a couple. I’m still very pragmatic and practical with my clothing. T-shirts and work pants. I do love to dress up though. Have a wonderfilled, warm weekend, Missy.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Like everyone else here I have to point out how much I love that photo in your favourite dress in Taiwan – you really do like a film star, Marlene! 😄 And I’m so impressed by the sewing skills of your mum – those dresses are gorgeous! Even if your sister clearly didn’t enjoy wearing hers. 😉
    When I was a kid I mostly was a tomboy and loved wearing trousers and jeans but had to put on a dress for special occasions which I just loathed! 😂 Funnily enough I didn’t look like I minded them though on the photos.
    I think I could improve when it comes to clothing, I tend to be on the comfy side of things, especially when it comes to shoes. 😉 I think if I could have way, i.e. had enough money, I would love to dress like the women in the 20s, 40s and 60s. 😊
    Your lovely post makes me want to have a look through my old photos again which is probably a good idea anyway, as it’s raining and I wanted to start digitalizing them anyway. 😄

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the visit, Sarah. I have been digitizing mine as well so both kids get copies and not have to have boxes of them to store. My poor sister NEVER looked right in a dress but we didn’t have the language for it back then. I’m definitely built for comfort these days too though I do still like to dress up when the occasion warrants. I spend nothing on clothing anymore. What I have will serve me. I’d love to see your photos too. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

      • Only managed to go through one box of photos yesterday (my family has a habit of using shoeboxes for that), and picked out a few that I might share one of these days, Marlene. 😉

        Liked by 1 person

      • I hope you stopped by to see Luanne’s photo too. She started all this. Looking forward to seeing yours. I bought those cheap boxes for photos and will be giving them to my son this summer.

        Like

  15. Marlene, I love this! Wow, you came up with a lot of great memories! Look at you in the pink dress/cigar pic! That is one I will always remember. You look so “tough” in that sweet pale pink satin hahahaha. And those outfits your Mom made! She was very talented. There aren’t a lot of seamstresses who could even make a boys suit–and the details on the dresses. And today you look pretty cute in your zippy cap. What a treasury of memory through clothing. Thank you for sharing.

    Liked by 1 person

    • You inspired me, Luanne. I was in the process of scanning all my photos anyway and that just had me really looking at them. I sometimes wonder where that person went. We have so many facets to our personalities that on rare occasion, different parts of us are expressed. Mom taught herself to sew out of necessity and she was meticulous. 🙂 It wasn’t a talent I picked up. Thanks for sending me on this journey.

      Liked by 1 person

  16. You have a lovey cheeky smile, that says attitude. Perfect.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Cathy. I’m working hard to get my smile back. It’s so much of who I am. I like to brighten the day for anyone I run across. I appreciate the visit. Have a fun weekend.

      Like

  17. Thank you for sharing! I love your hat and pink dress with the stogie hanging out of your mouth! 🙂 Looks like you have always been a fun gal.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for stopping by. I have not always been allowed to be fun but I think that glimmer is always lurking, looking for a way to sneak out. That was the most unlike me I have ever been. Pragmatic and practical. We must hang on to those odd bits of us, don’t you think? I hate cigars BTW but was up to prove I was up for it. 🙂

      Like

  18. What a lovely post…after reading your words and looking at your photos, I feel I know you a wee bit better and wish I was having a tea with you!

    Like

  19. patricia puckett said:

    I especially loved your blog today! You are so amazing and your pictures are priceless! Can you join us Monday at Arlene’s? I can drive. 😘

    Sent from my iPad

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Delightful walk down memory-lane, Marlene! I recognized you instantly in those photos. Your smile is every bit as sweet today as it was back then! 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  21. I just keep going back and looking at the photos again and again! So much to see there, all wonderful. You have that same forthright smile and piercing look in all of them–just so great! It’s fun to think back on favorite outfits–what a cool topic for a post!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for stopping by, Kerry. Luanne started this so I hope you got to visit her page as well. I think I got lost into a slightly different direction than she went but she inspired me. I’m glad you enjoyed the photos. They have been in boxes so long and I guess it was time to make an appearance. 😉 Looking forward to seeing your outfits. 😉

      Like

  22. I love that: “A smile is your best outfit.” It instantly made me think about a picture I had when I was younger with a cat on a tree limb. It was captioned, “Smile. People will wonder what you’re up to.” I took that to heart. I’ve met some grouches in my time and I was always sensitive to their grouchy energy. I resolved early on that I didn’t ever want to be so grouchy that I “disturb” others. I don’t always succeed at that when I’m at home, but I can put on a good smile when I’m out and about and feel genuinely happy to do so. Some days are better than others for this practice, but…I find it changes others’ energy, especially when I’m especially happy. 🙂
    I love also what you say about clothing here, too. When I was growing up, my mom would not let me go thrift shopping. She just didn’t think it was a good thing to do. But, as a young adult, I discovered how much I loved it. How you can find unique clothing that others are unlikely to have. I used to sort of “refresh” my wardrobe every year or two – because it was inexpensive to do so. Then in 2017, I went through and massively decluttered, letting go of plenty of thrift finds, but also “new” finds and even clothes I barely wore, but were precious to me – like a hand-crocheted duster my mother got for me in 7th grade. Over the time I’d had it, I only wore it a handful of times. I always had to take great care to not catch it on anything. I decided that, in the end, someone would enjoy it more than I was able to, what with me tromping around in the mountains.
    I sort of adopted a “uniform” – I changed my wardrobe to be black and brown pants with black and purple tops to match – that would also see me from the office to my meditation cushion to the hiking trails. I simplified. And I love it. 🙂
    I wish you a wonderful week, sweet friend. Sending you many blessings and light!

    Liked by 1 person

  23. I have always been ‘invisible’. Some people are just born that way
    You on the other hand, are recognizable, with or without the hat.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Found this post in my junk mail. Your right, I hated those dresses.
    Aspen

    Liked by 1 person

    • It was pretty obvious to everyone reading the post. You never looked right in them. But what could we do back then? You have helped to change the world view.

      Like

  25. Loved seeing the different YOU Marlene. and your younger self, in those pretty dresses.. I think Marlene you are far from invisible, but you are approachable.. And that means everything.
    I am sure you always have that ‘crooked’ smile.. and twinkle in your eye.. And no doubt you have good humour to go with it..

    Loved learning more about the younger you and what you did.. No wonder you make such beautiful things.. And it is not the clothes that we wear that count but what is inside our hearts..

    Much love dear Marlene.. and Enjoy your week my friend 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for stopping by, Sue. It was a different time back then and I was a different person. My smile may still be crooked but it gets better every year. I’m at least not scary anymore. 😉 Clothes are more of an artistic expression of who we are on the inside. But without a smile, even the finest of clothing serve no one. Hugs and love, M

      Liked by 1 person

  26. This is a beautiful post that I relate to in so many ways. Yes, as a child my mother tried to dress me up (she was a lithe lovely little woman who looked adorable in all she wore). I am the opposite of my mom – tall, awkward back then, felt like a bull in a china shop. I did NOT feel pretty in the clothes she dressed me in. Ah, college, when it was okay to wear jeans and a sweater! I have found now in ‘older’ age that I can get away with more because I am more invisible to people. I’m “old” (as in 60+). It’s amazing how discounted we are. But that has an advantage, doesn’t it? I feel more comfortable in my smiles, now (that they’re not misinterpreted) and so I smile at everyone, no matter what, and get a wonderful return. You, my wonderful blogging friend – you have a gorgeous smile and sensibility. Keep it going! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh, Pam! I’m very familiar with that bull in the china shop felling. My sister is still that way and we are both thrilled that pants and shirts are for girls now too. I work like a man most days so I should be able to dress as comfortably. I’m already the other side of 70 and agree there are certain advantages to being invisible. Until you want to butcher to wait on you for a cut of beef. 😉 Thank you so much for your kind words, Pam. Have a fun week.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I teach a class where a man once called David is now “Annie.” He/she’s a sweet soul, large hands and feet, soft eyes and smile. Annie is a farmer and wears overalls with a soft feminine blouse underneath. I applaud the world now that more people can wear the clothes inside them (and out) that helps them express who they truly are.

        Liked by 1 person

      • I am so glad things are changing and I hate that they may change back. I’ve told my sister many times she had hard work to do in this lifetime. Reaching and teaching one mind at a time that different isn’t bad. With a heart of gold and steel determination, she wins people over everywhere she goes. Fear is a constant companion when you are outside the box though. I would love Annie if I met them.

        Liked by 1 person

  27. Another great post, Marlene. Your mom was quite the seamstress!

    Liked by 1 person

  28. Hi Marlene… I found your blog via Roughwighting because I too enjoy reading new blogs and I am so glad that I read yours as I thoroughly enjoyed it. I love all the childhood photos.

    I’m not sure where you live, but I have noticed something interesting. In Asia where we currently live I can wear quite a lot of bold colors and flowy outfits because there is no trend or something I have to adhere to here. Whenever we visit family back home in the U.S. I have to tone it down as otherwise I attract too much attention, which is not my intention. I just enjoy colors and Asian inspired clothing.

    I think your cap is a great way to initiate conversations and not feel invisible. How fun would it be if you had many different caps in different colors. Or even the same one but just a variety of colors…. bright red? orange?

    My mom dressed us three girls in matching outfits quite often and I really detested it and never felt comfortable in the dresses. I could not wait to get home and rip it off and get back into pants. Moms, well meaning, but sometimes off target 🙂

    Peta

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so much for stopping by, Peta. I’ve never worn bright colors as I’m quite conservative in my dress but I love them on others. I do have many caps and many colors. I have winter hats and summer hats and lots of scarves to keep my head warmed when I run into wind or even Air Conditioning. The cold air hurts since I had Bells Palsy. I just made it part of my outfit. 😉 My sister was never girly. I think we should all dress to express our personality. Whatever we wear should make a statement about who we are. If I saw you, I would think you were happy and approachable. Of course there is a time and place for everything. Sometimes we are called to be more proper than other times but mostly I wear what is comfortable and feels good. My sister stopped wearing dresses when she stopped going to schools that forced the issue. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  29. What a lovely post, Marlene! It was great to see you and your siblings, but loved the first photo of you, in particular. Lots of personality captured right there. I had one outfit, a yellow skirt and a little jacket, that I always though as my favorite outfit…I was in my early 30s and lived in Zambia at the time…I’ll need to try to find a picture of it. Nowadays I rarely wear dresses or skirts, pant/jeans are so much more comfy 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for stopping by, Tiny and and nice compliment. I’m with you. I would like to make myself a summer lounge dress for really hot days but I am mostly in pants and tops as well. Working clothes to me. How much can you get done in a dress? 🙂 You have lived in many places, it seems. I thought I had a gypsy soul but my guess is you have me beat by miles. Zambia sounds interesting. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  30. Marlene, you certainly have woken us all up with walking the memory lane. First of all,
    I cheer you on in getting your full and easy smile back, no outfit can beat that. You have a nice one on the photo and the glint in your eyes.
    My mother was also fantastic with sewing and I remember well my first beautiful Sky blue Satin dress when I was a 10 year old brides maid at my young aunt’s wedding.
    I would say I am a mix of tomboy and glamour girl. A bit of glamour is fun and I have kept my favourite dresses.

    Your photos are wonderful and you look fun in the pretty dress with a big cigar. Your younger sister does not love the camera though, poor girl. She would be so pretty with a smile but little do we know.

    Bless

    Miriam

    Like

    • The scalloped dress I was wearing was sky blue taffeta. My sister is more than a tomboy but we didn’t have words for that 60 years ago. Who knew why she looked and felt so awkward in a dress. Now we understand and she will never have on again. I’ve done a whole series of stories on her called Suzy Q. They are in their own category.
      Like you, I transition between the glamorous look when I have the opportunity to dress up and practical work clothes for everyday. I very often work just as hard as any man so it seems fitting to dress with safety in mind.
      The smile has been progressing since I lost it 8 years ago with facial paralysis. I exercise it daily working on the muscles to wake them back up. People who are around more often see the gradual changes. I will often say that the one thing I missed after Bells Palsy hit was my smile. Now it’s slooowly coming back. Everyone looks better with a smile. Thanks for the visit, Miriam.

      Like

  31. Your cap is just adorable, Marlene! Your mom was such a wonderful seamstress and her family was clothed in her love.💕 My mom also made clothes for my brother and I as we were growing up. I just love looking back at those old black &white snapshots. I can still remember the colors in each outfit my mom made!
    Sending warm hugs!💗

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the visit, Dawn. Have missed you and saw you posted so I’m heading your way soon. Every time we open the box of old photos, memories pour out. Yes, we even see those old black and white photos in color in our minds. 🙂 I have so many caps now. Different seasons and colors as well as occasions. Just adding a little fun to life. 😉 See you soon. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  32. Love the photo memories; makes me nostalgic for my Mom. Beautifully written Marlene. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  33. I love your personality, which shines through on each of these photos. Like someone else said above, I recognize you at each stage, and that is a lot of fun. I can’t remember a specific outfit, though I do agree with you that I loved 80s fashion, and I too had my hair permed all the time. Now I prefer jeans, boots, and a hoodie. 🙂 Cargo shorts in the summer. Like you, I do appreciate the times when it’s a special occasion and it’s time to dress up and be girly. Just not too often because it takes so much effort.

    My mother also sewed a lot of our clothes, not as much as your mom though. I guess that’s what poor people do. And that’s why I learned to sew when I was young, because it was time to start making my own clothes. I sewed my own wedding dress when I married Tara’s dad! I don’t think I have any of Mom’s homemade clothes left. She was sewing only for herself in her last decade.

    Anyway, this was a fun post and thank you for sharing all these great old pictures with us.

    Like

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