Looking for answers to life's questions

Archive for August, 2021

Breakfast on the Go

As I’ve said, I walk very early in the morning; just before daybreak in the summer months is best. Air quality has become another qualification to the time and day I walk. I also walk best on an empty stomach. Somehow, digesting breakfast of any nature slows me down so I wait until I get home for food and coffee. I know many of you have to have coffee before anything. I prefer my coffee with company so I wait until I turn on the laptop.

Yes, I still have to drink my coffee through a straw.

August has its own supply of breakfast on the go. As I’m rounding the next to last turn on my downhill trek to home, there are bramble bushes that are laden with ripening blackberries. I found I could have a few on my way back to the house and feel quite satiated. Some are quite sweet and some – not so much. They are free, organic and have lots of microbes for a healthy gut. A perfect meal. I don’t stop long but it feels so good to eat fresh from the bushes. Someone from the park cut them way back the other day. I’m struggling to reach high enough now to feed myself.  I’m still looking for the donut tree.

I’ve been trying again to grow a tiny bit of a garden in a raised bed. The cucumbers were prolific in the short run they had but something has had its way with most of my tomatoes. I’ll keep hoping to get a few more this summer. Most of what I grow is for the bees and birds anyway.

There is one less thing growing in the back yard right now. A very determined tree that was unfortunately left in a very bad spot. It began to push the terrace retaining wall forward probably as soon as it was erected long before my time in this home. I loved the tree even though I worried at each storm if it would come down on the shed or house. When park maintenance looked at it after the ice storm, they determined it had to go. I posted the photos back in February of it leaning over the shed. Watching the crew that was hired to take it down last week left me drained and relieved. It’s hard to lose any tree.

­I recently received a surprise gift from a special gardening friend and was inspired to create a fresh new fairy garden from it. We are big fans of fairies and the little garden had me looking up the proper spelling of the word. What a surprise I got thinking it was just a difference in spelling.


It’s been quite blistering out on many days so I’ve been able to hide the little garden in shadier spots to keep it from burning. I do that for myself as well.

The glory of gardening: hands in the dirt, head in the sun, heart with nature. To nurture a garden is to feed not just the body, but the soul. ~Alfred Austin

Are you a breakfast person and would you share it with the fairies?

From my heart to yours,

Marlene Herself


Do you sense a rant coming? I’m not going in that direction. The last two months have been a whirlwind. I get up at 4:00 a.m. I write a morning page as most days there isn’t time to write more. Coffee happens sometimes. I then dressed for my walk and once home again, get started.

First there were all the dressers to sand down after the kids left with my huge one. I’d do yard work until I was allowed to run the sander at 8:00 a.m. Then came the painting of them. I’m not 100% impressed with the outcome but they are done and in use.

Next, I repainted the shed, fascia boards on it and the back deck roof. I’ll rephrase that, my daughter did the high stuff while I painted the lower supports on the deck fencing where the pressure washer had removed the paint. Finally, I got to the major job that I wanted done for the last 7 years but just couldn’t muster the energy to do. Now that it’s done, I’m thrilled with the results. My body, not so thrilled. Why now?


My house needs a new roof. It will hold a bit longer, I have been told, but it’s coming. The floor of the shed is sinking in one corner from water going underneath. It was built into the carport which makes any change difficult. Those repairs are beyond my capabilities and I see my options dwindling.

The back of the shed sinking

So here comes the rub. I was never, ever prepared for the life I lead. It wasn’t in the original script. I’ve been in massive survival mode for most of it. Maybe all of it when I look back.

I see many others who are also scrambling to figure out how to make things work in a world they were never prepared to manage. I am so much more fortunate than many. I have a roof over my head even if it might leak.

My manufactured home was a perfect solution 7 years ago. Now, I see it as a constant source of never-ending work and worry though I delight in it every day. I’m getting old-er.

So, what are my options now? I can sit it out and pray the roof on the house doesn’t leak this year though I know the porch roof has been leaking in places just like the carport did until I had it redone three years and $5000. ago.  I can try to sell, take a little of the profit to do a bit of traveling while my health will still allow it and move into an apartment or independent living where I have no outside maintenance. I’ve been asking a lot of questions trying to come up with the perfect solution.

I’m leaning toward a simpler life though I would miss my garden. I guess pots can work instead. Apartments come with their own grief as I well know. More costly in some respects while less in others.

I’m watching the for the cogs to click into place. Signs I’m making a right choice. I vacillate a great deal when I’m in my head. My heart says it’s time for a change. Why do I work so hard to make a place beautiful and then walk away from it? Is life about not getting too comfortable?

Do you struggle with the options life has handed you? Have you found good solutions and how?

In life, we should explore options outside our comfort zone.” ~ Dani Alve

From my heart to yours,

Marlene Herself.