Looking for answers to life's questions

Options

Do you sense a rant coming? I’m not going in that direction. The last two months have been a whirlwind. I get up at 4:00 a.m. I write a morning page as most days there isn’t time to write more. Coffee happens sometimes. I then dressed for my walk and once home again, get started.

First there were all the dressers to sand down after the kids left with my huge one. I’d do yard work until I was allowed to run the sander at 8:00 a.m. Then came the painting of them. I’m not 100% impressed with the outcome but they are done and in use.

Next, I repainted the shed, fascia boards on it and the back deck roof. I’ll rephrase that, my daughter did the high stuff while I painted the lower supports on the deck fencing where the pressure washer had removed the paint. Finally, I got to the major job that I wanted done for the last 7 years but just couldn’t muster the energy to do. Now that it’s done, I’m thrilled with the results. My body, not so thrilled. Why now?

FINISHED!!!!

My house needs a new roof. It will hold a bit longer, I have been told, but it’s coming. The floor of the shed is sinking in one corner from water going underneath. It was built into the carport which makes any change difficult. Those repairs are beyond my capabilities and I see my options dwindling.

The back of the shed sinking

So here comes the rub. I was never, ever prepared for the life I lead. It wasn’t in the original script. I’ve been in massive survival mode for most of it. Maybe all of it when I look back.

I see many others who are also scrambling to figure out how to make things work in a world they were never prepared to manage. I am so much more fortunate than many. I have a roof over my head even if it might leak.

My manufactured home was a perfect solution 7 years ago. Now, I see it as a constant source of never-ending work and worry though I delight in it every day. I’m getting old-er.

So, what are my options now? I can sit it out and pray the roof on the house doesn’t leak this year though I know the porch roof has been leaking in places just like the carport did until I had it redone three years and $5000. ago.  I can try to sell, take a little of the profit to do a bit of traveling while my health will still allow it and move into an apartment or independent living where I have no outside maintenance. I’ve been asking a lot of questions trying to come up with the perfect solution.

I’m leaning toward a simpler life though I would miss my garden. I guess pots can work instead. Apartments come with their own grief as I well know. More costly in some respects while less in others.

I’m watching the for the cogs to click into place. Signs I’m making a right choice. I vacillate a great deal when I’m in my head. My heart says it’s time for a change. Why do I work so hard to make a place beautiful and then walk away from it? Is life about not getting too comfortable?

Do you struggle with the options life has handed you? Have you found good solutions and how?

In life, we should explore options outside our comfort zone.” ~ Dani Alve

From my heart to yours,

Marlene Herself.

Comments on: "Options" (78)

  1. Hey Marlene! You are amazing, your fortitude and attitude. I hope you figure out the best path very soon. Aren’t we all trying to figure things out? Take care, my friend.

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  2. I love that pickled look! Wonderfully done!

    Ah, the trials and tribulations of homeownership. It’s a never-ending piece of work. BUT….I love where I live. I have my independence and I can have my animals. Plus, it’s the cheapest way to live for me at present. I could never get an apartment for what I pay here. My home is paid for which helps. I love having my privacy. As I get older who knows what will change. But going by my women ancestors I’d say I’m going to live here until I just can’t anymore, which hopefully is when I die. Then again, who knows what the future will bring. I’m very adaptable. Like you, I never in a million years would have thought my life would turn out as it has. I just go with the flow…..what else is one to do? Big hugs my friend. ❤

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    • I’m glad you have such good genes and that you own your home outright. I do not. I’ll be paying on it for years to come. My health challenge worries my daughter a bit. I love living alone too, but that’s no longer an option. It was a good run while it lasted. 🙂 Thanks for the visit. I’ve missed you.

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      • Thank you, Marlene. It’s good to be missed. At least someone does! LOL I do hope I got those ‘good’ genes but again I can only go as my health will go. I have diabetes as you know so it’s kind of up in the air. I will fight like hell to keep living here but I’m also a realist (as you probably know too). We each have to do what we know is best for us. I’m glad you have your daughter and I’m glad to call you a friend. Owning the house makes things much easier and at least my late husband and I were smart enough to invest in this place. Not everyone can or could. As for living alone….no, I know you couldn’t and I’m just so glad you have your kids.

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      • It’s really important to keep that diabetes under control. Then you can enjoy life that much more. If I could afford to maintain this place I would. Nothing went according to plan. I am unbelievably lucky with my kids. I see so many others who are not. We know a lot of people with awful parents too. I guess that’s why my kids treat me so well. But even with all that, as I age, I need more alone time. Odd, isn’t it.

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      • You find you need more alone time as you age? So do I! It’s a little sideways I guess. Maybe because we spent so many years living with someone we now appreciate living alone or having ‘alone time’. I find that’s true for myself.

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      • Yup. I told my therapist there must be something wrong with me because I don’t want anyone around. She just laughed and said it was quite normal. I love that lady. She’s very good at helping me stay afloat and keep family from taking advantage of me. You know what I mean.

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  3. Marlene, what a great job on those chests! They look wonderful and fresh. And the carport! I’m with you on the overhead stuff. No way I could have managed that with my neck issues. You and daughter make a great team. I can imagine the struggle in trying to plan for how and where to live in the future. I so wanted to have my own home again, but there is just too much work involved and I know myself too well. I would have tried to convince myself that I could do it all physically and wisely my logic won out. Apartment life does have pros and cons but in the long term I realized it was the best for me. I got lucky when I found this small complex so it can take some searching and digging but you might find it the better choice going forward. If so, I know you will make it feel like home with your creativity and determination. Take care.

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    • Thanks so much, Deb. We all have to find our best fit. I talked with my therapist yesterday and she mentioned that my joke about moving to a retirement center with independent living might no be such a joke. There are so many advantages for someone in my condition. I ran it by my daughter this morning and we are going to do more research. PF is a strange milady and it’s course is vague. I just know I’m quite exhausted and looking for relief. We will work it out soon. Thanks for stopping by.

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  4. Aspen Liggett said:

    So true about choices and searching for satisfaction. May you reach your goals. Love you no matter what.

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  5. Research and discussions with your daughter will all help. She sounds like a very sensible person anyway, as are you. The right thing will come to you. You don’t have to rush into a decision in the next week. Your renovated furniture and painted patio roof look amazing – it’s the sort of thing we finally get around to and think Why the hell did I wait so long? I’d love to sit on your porch (I think that’s what you call them in the US?) and drink coffee and have a good long chat xxx

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    • I sure wish you could come sit on my front porch too, Jill. We’d have quite the conversation. Out back is the deck. No roof and up off the ground. Patio is concrete and on the ground with no roof. We do have odd words for things here. My daughter and I have had some good conversations and are on the same page so things will move along will anyway I go. I’m not rushing into anything. Everyone kept telling me not to bother with painting the carport or the porch roof. I’m happy both are done. My son sprayed to paint on the carport, I hand painted the porch roof. 🙂 I like mine better. I’ll get the coffee ready.

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      • I do love my coffee, but after about 5pm I switch to whiskey. Just have a bottle on hand, and lots of ice 😉

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      • My daughter has a big bottle of Jack Daniels Tennessee Honey in the cupboard. Straight up with ice. 🙂 Always ready for anything here.

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      • I’m sure your daughter and I would get along very well, but I once had a terrible and deeply shameful experience with Jack Daniels. It was about 30 years ago and, while I can’t remember what I said or did under the influence, I was made aware of it all the next day. I will never touch the stuff again.

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      • 🙂 Everyone should have one of those moments in life. It tells you that you have really LIVED! I have enough of them to write a book though many had nothing to do with alcohol. A few did. My daughter reminds me of one once in a while and we both realize what I’m capable of doing.

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  6. It seems that the older we get, the more difficult our decisions must be. But first, may I say that you are SO talented? I really enjoyed looking at your before and after photos. Beautiful workmanship (or really, should be called workwomanship). I am 100% impressed. Now… the decision. I don’t know the answer, but I do know that so many of us have to decide at some point. Can we downsize even more? What happened to our options? WAS there an original script? Wherever you end up – staying at home or moving to an apartment or independent living, make sure you have space for your creativity – in gardening, blogging, handiworking. xo

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    • I wish I were the only one looking at options. There are too many women in my age group trying to figure out what’s next on a limited budget. I’m luckier than most I know. I’m hoping that whatever comes next gives me more time for the creativity that longs to be released. I do enjoy making my home beautiful which is creative is a way. The original script is something I’ll tell you about in a private letter. I want to write about these things but not sure how to do that with a bit of humor. I have well over 100 books on writing and only get halfway through any of them. Can I downsize anymore? Let me tell you; it is HARD!!! Just packing 20 boxes of books after I’ve pared down 6 boxes worth and more tubs of fabric than I can count has been wrenching. I’ll keep you posted. Thanks so much for your kind words.

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      • Please DO keep me posted – literally and figuratively. Between 2010 to 2014 I downsized three times, from a large house to a nice-sized condo to a smaller apartment to finally a two-bedroom townhome (between two different coasts). The one positive of this ordeal was boxing up, which helped me NOT want to box up so I gave up a lot. It does feel so much lighter. I donated about 50 cookbooks (no longer needed at all); about 300 books (like giving away special pets); but I still have all 50+ of my creative writing books and journals. Bottom line, we don’t even need them. Just write your heart out. (I know, easier said than done.) ❤

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      • I’ll send a note next week. We will be in triple digits again so I will not leave the house. So very unusual for Portland to get those kinds of temps for so long a time. This resonated. “300 books (like giving away special pets)” Snail mail heading your way. 🙂

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      • Can’t wait. xo

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    • “Was there an original script?” oh my gosh, that’s great. It’s such a good reminder for me to stop fussing. If I buy into the myth of the original script for my life, it’s only because I invented it.

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  7. These are tough choices. I trust you to make a thoughtful and optimal choice. If you are, “exhausted and looking for relief,” this tells you a lot. Love & prayers flying your way.

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    • Thanks so much, Cindy. I agree that how I feel says a lot. That’s why I’m looking at all options. Tired of being tired. Lots to think about and wait for it to all come together. If it’s right, it will. Thanks for the visit.

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  8. You continue to amaze me with your talent, Marlene. The furniture looks fantastic. I’m sorry to hear you’re struggling with your current living arrangement. It’s a tough decision. Personally, I think you have too much spunk to go into an assisted living, but having a place that has no maintenance worries would be a good idea. You need your space to continue to do the things that make you happy. Maybe we should ask ourselves what would our sweet friend Pauline do? I’ll keep you in my prayers. xo

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    • Thanks so much, Jill. I did a similar pickling effect on my china cabinet 6 years ago. It was so much fun then. I probably will do independent vs assisted living until it’s time for hospice to come in. I do wish Pauline had not been living alone when she stroked. I will make sure that I have creative space no matter what I do. This won’t be a quick or easy decision. Houses like this one are a bit harder to sell. Especially since I haven’t put it one the market yet. 🙂 Covid makes me more cautious but timing is everything. Thank you for the prayers. I accept them all with deep gratitude. May be what’s kept me here this long. 😉 Hugs.

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  9. Dear Marlene, let’s face it- getting older generally sucks and forces us to consider our options which may be self-limited. What is your foremost priority? Is it still your garden or spending time with those you love, albeit in less than ideal circumstances? Then consider if you can afford the luxury of those less than ideal circumstances. If not, a change must happen. I feel sure you will have thought this already and you’ll find the right decision for you. I was so relieved to leave the massive maintenance of our aging former home behind. It was a burden lifted. That freed up my time to do other things I wanted to do.
    I feel sure you would find a way to make pots and raised balcony beds work, if not a communal footpath garden.
    Your gut feeling will be your best guide.

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    • You explained it perfectly here, Amanda.

      “I was so relieved to leave the massive maintenance of our aging former home behind. It was a burden lifted. That freed up my time to do other things I wanted to do.”

      What I want with the time I have left is to concentrate on finishing up some favorite sewing projects, reading some of the wonderful books I have and doing a bit of writing. My daughter has been pressing me to tell my life story for her and her brother. It certainly wasn’t boring. I’m done with hard work. I’ve never had time to be lazy. I think now is the time. I also want my daughter free to take care of her life knowing I’m safe and there are people around to make sure all is well. I know you understand that. I always trust my gut first and foremost. Had a lesson in that just this week. Good thing I listened to it. 😉 This place was perfect for me and I love it. I think I’m being guided to move on now. We shall see. No rush. Thanks for the visit.

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  10. Projects at home and working here too. When I get the chance I might post the results.

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  11. It was so good to see a post from you come across my email. I was thinking about you just the other day, wondering how you’ve been getting on. Your projects have turned as beautifully! It must be a pleasure to put things away in those crisp, white dressers. As for your living arrangement, from what I’ve come to know of you from your blog, you have a good head on your shoulders. I expect that you will arrive at the right decision for yourself.

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    • Thanks so much for the vote of confidence, Liz. I’m not a snap decision maker. I weigh everything very carefully and then see how it feels. I’m so happy with the white dressers. Being visually challenged, I love the reflective light I get back from it. Playing with bits of color on mine was fun while my daughter wanted pure white on hers. The handles are copper. 🙂 Let’s hope the Universe is conspiring to make things easier.

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      • I did like the bits of color as well as the pure white. Such a change from the cruddy, junk brown! I’d say you’ve earned some good karma from the Universe to make things easier.

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      • I must already have good Karma, Liz. The Universe keeps sending the right people and ideas to light my path. I’m so over that cruddy brown junk too. I couldn’t wait to sand it all away. 🙂

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  12. Hi Marlene, it’s great to hear from you! And boy have you been busy!
    Just a few thoughts about the housework: we thought some of the work on our 1900 house was going to budget killers, but we were encouraged to go get quotes and ideas from contractors looking for jobs. A few of the suggestions surprised me by being within budget, and different than the approaches I had thought of. And getting the estimates was free, I had no obligation to accept a bid to do the work.
    Gardening…About a fifth of my garden (including all of my tomatoes) are in grow bags now. They are cheap, and in a drought, all you water is the bag, not an entire bed. Tomatoes, lettuce, herbs and other things do very well in them. They are also much better than plastic to use.
    Best Wishes!

    Lou

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    • I put out a call for help. No one returned my calls. Seems no one wants to work around here. I finally heard from one painter after I finished the job. This is the last year the garden gets planted. If I wind up with a patio somewhere, I might plant in pots. The bags sound interesting. I’ll have to look for them. I’m running low on steam but we have inspection this month so I wanted everything ready for that. I’m really done with inspections. Thanks for the visit, Lou. I’ll try and catch up a bit with you soon.

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  13. Gosh, Marlene, you never cease to amaze me! You just keep on going and keep on moving which is of course the thing that’s keeping you young. I honestly wish I had half of your energy. We had some work done outside and created a nice patio area which I have been enjoying immensely but you’re right, always so much more that needs doing. I sometimes wonder what is the best use of time and money to update. Thankfully no urgent items need a tension right this minute. So good to see your post today. Big hugs!

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    • I blog just to hear from my friends. 😉 So good to hear from you. I worked very hard the last 2 months and can breathe a moment now. There is always something more that needs doing on a place. But I’m at my limit here both physically and financially. I don’t really have a lot of energy, just determination. I needed it to look good for the next person. I want to put this house’s best foot forward and hopefully find someone who will love it as much as I have. The last owner abused it so much that it deserves to continue to be loved. I will pick and choose as much as possible. Maybe now I’ll have time to send a real note. Hugs to you, Jan.

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  14. Marlene, I’m always impressed with the work you accomplish. Painting is hard enough, but painting overhead sounds brutal! It looks terrific, along with those two lovely dressers. My word you are a whiz with a brush. Having to face regular inspections seems so intrusive. I understand the park’s desire to maintain standards, but they seem at times extreme. Most people living in manufactured homes have more limited resources so it feels like a double whammy. I’m glad you have the security of a roof over your head. I heard today that close to 50% of our unhoused population are women over 50. There is something seriously wrong with that. Ages ago, families remained together, with the young supporting the elders and the elders providing wisdom and support. We’ve lost a lot of that as we’ve spread out. It’s also become ridiculously expensive to buy a home or to rent an apartment so it’s the old “rock and a hard place.”

    I wish you luck as you process plans going forward. You have to consider your physical health as well as your financial health, and that’s never easy. Sending love your way. xo

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    • Thanks so much for taking up the rant I had started to write about. In my area alone there are so many single women just hanging on. They are helping each other here as much as possible. I’m lucky to have 2 wonderful adult children that help as much as possible. One neighbor has a verbally abusive son living with her because he can do the hard jobs for her. Women alone with limited resources makes my brain hurt trying to figure out ways to change this dynamic. We could both go on for days on this subject alone. I talked to H this morning about independent living. It would be better in many ways for both of us. I have a professional woman looking into my options there. My therapist has wonderful resources. Everyone should have them. I am just so very lucky. Thanks so much for your caring heart. More questions than answers right now so…. Hugs and love.

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      • Hugs and love to you, too, Marlene. I’m glad you have the resources you do. It’s also a testament to your motherhood that both children have remained in your life into adulthood, and that they respect and support you. My mother lived in assisted living for many years and loved it (after initially resisting it all the way). In her case, her memory was failing and she was no longer safe on her own. She had a private patio and a kitchenette, but they provided meals, laundry, light housekeeping and medication management. It was such a relief for me, as my boys were only 1 and 4 at the time and I had my hands full. I think she was 82 at the time. She lived to see her 89th birthday.

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      • Thanks so much for your kind words. I talked to H about Independent living after my session with Dr. W. Dr said I was joking about it but maybe it wasn’t a joke. So H was in favor as well. I can be there until palliative care steps in. That part should be quick. I’m ready to take things a little easier. This place will go on the market soon. I could see some relief in my daughter’s eyes when I was willing to consider Independent living. My neighbor Emily is moving in there in a couple weeks so I’ll see what it looks like first hand. News at 11. 😉

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  15. What an effort, and what a great result! I think maybe in your position I’d be seriously considering apartment living. At a certain stage of life, the sheer physical labour of maintenance becomes too much, and if I could afford it, I’d prefer to pay someone else to do it. Yes, of course there are downsides, including but not limited to lack of outdoor space – unless you can find something with a balcony. I hope your cogitations result in a decision you’ll be happy with long term.

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    • Thank you so much, Kate. I hope whoever buys this place will appreciate all I’ve done here but that never seems to be the case. I do agree, since I can’t pay anyone to do the work or replace the roof, it’s time to go simple. More research will happen and the pandemic is throwing a wrench in available housing, I will have to be very cautious in my choices. Right now, I’m open to all options. My gut says make a change. I’ll keep you posted. How are you doing these days. I think I’ve missed some of your posts these last 2 months and hoping health things are on the upswing.

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      • I’d say listen to your gut and take care of your health. People who care about you want you with us as long as possible! Things are indeed on the upswing for me. I have the diabetes under control and have lost 33 pounds since early May. I’m feeling and looking much better, and have more energy.

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      • I am so happy about you having the diabetes under control. We all want you here as long as possible too. Hugs.

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  16. Those chests are amazing. I’m dead impressed!! As for decisions that’s so tricky. I’m sure you’ll work it out.

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  17. First, how impressed am I with all that getting up at 4am, walking then having to wait till 8am before you get the power tools out. You are an inspiration. I love the paint effect in the chest, and I’d love to join you for a coffee on your porch.
    No, we don’t end up living the life we expected. I am reeling from the shock of my husband’s rather sudden decline in health due to terminal cancer . One day up a ladder constructing a greenhouse, a month later trundling around in a wheelchair. All of a sudden house maintenence is mine. No idea what I’m doing.
    I can see a day when something lower maintenance will be very appealing for me.
    Life journey is unexpected. Hugs, xx

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    • Oh Cathy! I wish you could sit on my porch and tell me all about it too. I’m not surprised you are reeling from all of this and wondering what the heck is coming next. I’m so glad you are closer to your family where you are now. That has to be a tiny blessing in all of this. I got my diagnosis in 2017 and expected to be gone in a year. Every morning I’m grateful to wake up. It’s not how I expected things to go so I have time to get things in order. Trying to make things easier for my 2 adult children. You take things one day at a time and relish each and every moment you have together. The maintenance needs to be handed off to someone else. I’m done here and looking for somewhere my daughter isn’t responsible for me at the end. Cancer is a whole other animal and more unpredictable than even what I have. PF is also considered terminal. I’ve just beat a lot of odds here to give me time to take care of business. My contract is up but in overtime. 🙂 I’ll be saying some extra ones for you and Mr. E. I’m always here and if you want to chat, you can email me. seamsright8@yahoo.com

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  18. You and your daughter have certainly been busy, and everything looks great! I now live in an apartment and do dislike paying all that money each month to own nothing. But, when the hot water heater needed to be replaced or the pipes under the kitchen sink leaked, everything was all taken care of for me with no personal expense. I do miss having a house and garden, of course! Pots for veggies and flowers on the balcony help:) Take care, Marlene!

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    • There is no perfect anything so keeping life simple seems to be the best way to go. We do a lot of our own work but there comes a point when it’s just too much. I’m not looking forward to giving up my home but it may be time. Thanks for the visit, Becky.

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  19. Marlene, you’re thinking out loud here, which helps those cogs to think and plan. That’s a good thing. I know exactly what you mean. You love your home and the work, but it’s really hard and expensive to keep up with the big stuff. You will know when it’s the right time to move, whether it’s sooner or later. You will know! Change and getting older is really hard. It stinks. Like you, we don’t want to leave our home, but the upkeeps are expensive, and we can’t do ladders and roofs the way we used to. It is our little paradise, for as long as we can stay. I count every wonderful moment here, just like you do at your home.

    The roof looks terrific! Wow! And, you did a fabulous job on the dressers. Really! The energy you have inspires me, Marlene! So does your common sense and positive attitude. Please keep me posted on what you decide to do.

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    • Thanks so much Jennie. I will keep you posted. I know what I have to do but it’s difficult. Another blogging friend, Pam said giving away my books is like giving away a family pet. Feels much the same. I’ve been paring down for quite some time already knowing this was coming. Sure doesn’t make it easier. My kids think I’m invincible. Ha! I am very pragmatic so the final decision will be well thought out. I always try to leave a place better than I found it. So far, so good. From the looks of your place, I’m not sure I could ever leave it. I think I have more determination and tenacity than energy. 🙂 Hugs to you.

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      • I so know exactly what you mean!! I have boxes of books under tables because they have no other place to live. I can’t bear to part with them. Purging is really hard. Yes, you will know when it’s time. I will, too. Not just yet. Your projects are making things all the better. Mega hugs to you!

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  20. Hi hi Marlene. Whew, your schedule of home work is a bit too crazy. When to make a change is a tough decision for sure.
    I guess I’d ask myself, “if I move to an apartment, what would my day look like?”
    If that day looks better to you, then you can plan a change and feel good about it.
    Personally, I wouldn’t want to make the change when I’m forced to move. I’d want it to be on my own terms. Now that song sung by Kenny Rogers is in my head. The one about holding up or folding up, gah 😄 It all looks great BTW. Good luck sorting out a plan 💛💛💛

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    • Thanks so much, Kelly. I have someone searching for the best alternative for me so I can have my daughter go live her own life without thinking she needs to take care of me. You are at a very different stage of life with a husband as a partner. Calls for different choices. I had hoped to stay here permanently, signs are saying otherwise. We shall see. Thanks for the visit. Hugs.

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  21. My dear friend. You are wise and careful and practical about the right things, and I have full faith that you and H and Tech Support are doing the research you need. I really like what Kelly had to say about not being forced to make a decision. I know the extreme heat of this ridiculous summer pushed you to the edge, but on cooler days I see you have a cooler head. What excellent work you have done and I echo the comments of others about painting a ceiling on your deck. Ugh. The worst! It looks so beautiful and must feel so good. Also those trim pieces at the floor look great. I need to replace all of them in my house too – mine are a disaster. For now, I am glad that scrutinizing trim pieces is not something visitors typically do. In fact, I may be the only human who realizes how much they need to be replaced.

    I am relieved that your plan is to research, because that gives me time to be of service. I won’t be back and available for you until the end of September. I am also hopeful about the housing market right now. I have been watching the sheer madness in Portland lately and people are desperate for homes, so if you do think selling is what you want to do, I think it will be quicker and easier and will result in more profit than you are expecting. Love you two ladies and I am so impressed with all your constant work. H is a blessing. But the quality of your kids definitely describes what a wonderful mom you are.

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    • Thanks so much, Crystal. We are a busy lot here. I am definitely planning to sell. It’s just too much for both of us. I had decided that a while back and kept vacillating. We are moving stuff out and windows are being cleaned today. Hope to have it on the market by Sept. You are right. The market is hot. We hope to travel a bit before the next decision is made. I do have great kids. You do as well. Talk soon. Hugs.

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  22. Ugh. I’m in the same boat. When should I sell? What updates can I make now and still enjoy for a few years? What updates should I not make because they won’t pay either in enjoyment or in resale? How much money is too much for a place I’ll only be in for another 5-7? Too many decisions paralyze me, so I sit here and think about it.

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    • It’s so good to hear from you, Jean!!! Decisions are hard and I have some extra help making them. Synchronicity keeps smacking me in the face. I planned to stay here many more years originally. Then the diagnosis; I’ve passed my sell by date already. Doctors don’t know everything. I waffled back and forth but in the end, the decision is to be kind to my daughter and make sure she’s not the one who has to deal with the what’s next and get on with her life. If the house sells as it is, so be it. If not, I’ll keep moving forward and researching a good place without so much work. 73 isn’t old and I can still out work my daughter but I just don’t want to work that hard anymore. I do a lot of writing in my journals and in the end, I see the decision in black and white. You are still very young and vital but doing what brings you joy should always be at the top of the list. I also have a therapist that I adore who makes sure I am not wallowing and making informed choices. Thinking will paralyze you. Feel it. How does each choice feel in your body. I’m definitely doing independent living that has hospice care available. That how this rolls. I’m still defying the odds. I love making doctors look foolish. 😉 Are you writing again? I’ve missed you. You are so good at it.

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  23. We’re younger, but I can definitely relate to the moving to different places. We average about 5 years in a dwelling! I do have to say that the mobile home in a park was our absolute favorite overall. We loved having the tiny yard and gardens, and the layout of the home was very efficient. But we did have to do a lot of work on the home. The apartment in the complex was very simple and well-maintained, and we liked our balcony. We had plants and spent most of our time sitting out there. Our current apartment is a sublet, and it is wonderful with a clean-looking layout (and all utilities included), but the owner won’t fix the leaky roof. We are going to be able to develop a small area beside the building, to make a little yard, which will help a lot, I think. There are pros and cons to everything, but it sounds like you might enjoy an apartment in a complex, with some outdoor space included. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for stopping by, Bethany. Didn’t you also live on a boat for a time? The leaky roof thing has me very concerned. So far, only the porch leaks because it and the carport were added on and not done correctly. I had the carport done 2 years ago and it was pricey. To stay here, I’d have to find the funds to do the house and front porch. I think after the two extended power outages and the smoke from fires has made me realize changes are in order. Not sure how it will all shake out but change is in the wind.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lol, yes, we lived on 3 different boats over the course of 5 years! Pros: No yard maintenance, cheap slip fees, no big deal if you don’t have a toilet or shower. Oh, and they won’t flood during a hurricane, as long as they stay floating!

        Liked by 1 person

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