Looking for answers to life's questions

Missing

There is so much going on in my life these days that a lot of things are just not getting the top priority they deserve.  I’m befuddled, discombobulated and seriously distracted.

Sonar holding down the mouse. This photo from my son calms me.

Autumn came VERY early this year. Then summer made a momentary encore. It brought the stink bugs with it. I thought we had been exceptionally fortunate this year but just as my son arrived to help with some really hard jobs, the darn bugs showed up. The rain was kind. It let us get our outside jobs done and only rained when we had inside stuff to do.

This was the first of October!

The house is in escrow. Inspection has been completed and appraisal today. We were asked to put in a new hot water heater even though it worked just fine for a 16-year-old tank. All the smoke detectors were too old so up the ladder he went five times. We worked together to get stuff shifted in storage while we had the help.

Finally done with the current shift of 2 households

The real muscle behind the job.

My son trudged on for over four days to get done in time to get home for knee replacement surgery on Nov 4. Yes, he really loves his mother. It was two 12-hour days driving each way to be so overworked. We did fill up the Suburban with things I will never use again to send home with him.

Extra points since nothing rattled on the way home.

You never know how much you miss things until they are locked away. I’m missing my library, tubs of fabric, dressers and even my hair dryer that I rarely use. I’m going to miss my ice-maker in the freezer A terribly decadent luxury. The repairman for the ice-maker came 3 times before he admitted the dispenser would not work again. Packing time was put on hold while he muttered under his breath at the **** machine

I miss time to sew which is on my list daily and never crossed off the list.

I hadn’t had the brain bandwidth to write a post so we go back to the old phrase ‘of all the things I’ve lost, I miss my mind the most.” The charger for my watch has gone missing with all the shuffling of stuff. Poof! Into thin air.

I miss my routine. Nothing is routine anymore. I make a plan for the day and before the first cuppa is finished, it goes in the bucket.

Taking mom shopping. I forgot a cane so holding on tight.

Plans?? It’s impossible to make any because we don’t know if or when escrow will close with great certainty. Partway through the process, the second potential buyer decided the loan percentage rate was not to their liking and started again. Delays mean a later start to our trip running us deeper into winter months. Hopefully that means we will miss the crowds in the places we are going to visit. My birthplace being first is never crowded.

Basically a one street town.

I missed seeing my sewing friends too. Emily has already moved to Independent Living but managed to come visit a couple of times. Patti called to offer help and take me to lunch. We poured old wine down the drain together. A good day all the way around. I’m going to miss that too for a while.

Most of all, I miss being here and popping in to see you regularly. Let’s hope that changes soon.

Do you have anything you find you miss when it’s out of reach?

We ourselves feel that what we are doing is just a drop in the ocean. But the ocean would be less because of that missing drop. ~ Mother Teresa

From my heart to yours,

Marlene Herself

Comments on: "Missing" (64)

  1. We are missing You too, although your post makes it quite clear that you need to give this next stage of your life maximum attention. We’ll still be here when you can raise your head again from the To Do list. Big hugs, stay safe amidst all those trip hazards, and I hope everything goes smoothly.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thanks so much, Kate. I think the hardest parts are behind us. The appraisal was the last hurdle. Now it’s the last of the packing and waiting for a green light and a check. Eventually, I’ll find a soft place to land. I’ll keep in touch as internet allows. Maybe I’ll have more blog reading time soon. 😉 Sending hugs to you and Mr. Mouse.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Well those are some big changes, and they happened fast. Update as you can, knowing we are all rooting for you on this new path.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Thanks so much, Deb. I’m honestly terrified but just keep putting one foot in front of the other waiting to see where the path leads. I can use the encouragement and reading your posts help. Hoping for more time for that soon. How soon to retirement?

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I always miss my mind but I’m getting used to it. LOL

    I hate it when my schedule is thrown off! I find as I get older I love my schedule more. Moving is never a really fun experience. It’s filled with aches, pains and delays. Always. At least that is my experience!

    I was wondering yesterday where you were, then remembered you were getting ready to sell the place and so I guessed you were quite busy.

    Hope things go smooth for you, my friend. Sending you good vibes and thoughts!
    Hugs.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Really appreciate the good vibes my friend. Needed them. Back went out yesterday and saw the chiropractor today. Stress is taking it’s toll. I think we are through the last hurdle and I never, ever want to do it again. This has been a valuable lesson. I’m not 100% sure it’s going to get any easier but this seemed the right thing to do. Maybe I’ll have time to send a real note soon. Sending lots of hugs your way too.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Thank you for the update, Marlene. Selling a house and moving are incredibly stressful and disorienting, even under the best of circumstances. It sounds as though you have family and good friends to help you through. Please be kind to yourself, and take good care. I’ll be thinking of you.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Planning and completing a move is Chaotic no matter what age you are. Making our lake home ready to show almost did me in. Honestly, you get more done than a lot of people I know. Your storage locker looks well organized, incase you *need* that hair dryer before you move. Things out of reach? Things missing? How long do you have? LOL…constantly ! Even something I used moments ago…I’ll walk to another room, set it down and then spend half an hour looking for it. I’m a reckless wanderer 😀 Fills the covid days though, ha! That’s my cup half full moment for now. Toodles noodles xK

    Liked by 2 people

    • You do brighten my day, sweet Kelly. I’m glad I’m not the only wandering around looking for something that turns out to be right in front of my face. We have my daughter’s things on one side, mine on the other. Some of mine will go with her so it all comes out in the wash. Christmas is all across the back . Yikes. I had to go back into my dresser to dig out a little bit more before they pilled boxes of books in front of it. Oh well. It will all work out for the best. I’m counting on it. I’ll keep you posted as much as possible.

      Liked by 2 people

  6. We are not planning on going anywhere – but you really have a full plate. Your son is absolutely top-notch. Having had a bad knee for a few years before they scraped cut and ablated I can understand that it probably was not pleasant for him.

    I hope you can find a new normal soon, and find joy in it too. Being the sort of person who always has tons of projects going I read with trepidation your account of all you are giving up. Frankly, it scared me. You are a strong and brave woman.
    People saying ” we’d be glad to help” from across the continent ring hollow. But I’m sure I’m not the only one who would be glad to offer whatever emotional support possible; even if that’s only listening.
    Best wishes for this bold new journey.

    Lou

    Liked by 2 people

    • I hear you loud and clear, Lou and thank you so much. I admit I’m terrified as much as anything else but this needed to be done sooner rather than later. Now I will take more time to focus on writing and reading as well as new experiences to stimulate the mind. I’ve been a gypsy all my life so this is nothing new. The emotional support is a big deal to me. I need that more than anything right now so thank you. I’ll keep posting as long as possible whenever there is internet available. Maybe soon I can catch up with all of your posts. 😉

      Liked by 1 person

  7. We are thinking, praying and hoping for you Marlene. Lots of changes and lots of stress, but hopefully light on the horizon and of course, gratitude for an amazing son!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for the prayers and good wishes, Cindy. I think they are working. I think the appraisal went well today and we are now in the home stretch to a much simpler life for me. Of course I do have to try and get a little travel in while I’m still up for it. I am always grateful for both my amazing kids. Hugs to you.

      Liked by 1 person

  8. This is such a tough time Marlene. Take your time to embrace the shifts and changes … and always find time for your own well being.
    Nothing stays the same! There will be a time when you find your feet and can move into this new chapter with confidence and ease.
    P.s. And what a good son you have 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    • It is tough in so many ways, Val but that leads to some wonderful things at the other end. I did have my back go out yesterday and today I found a chiropractor to help me out. Guess I just needed more down time. I do have two of the best adult children that I know about. We are very supportive of each other. Thanks for stopping by for a visit. Soon, I’ll come up for more air. The hardest part is now behind us so it’s full steam ahead, I hope. 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  9. And here I thought we were the only ones invaded by stink bugs. Yuck! You are going through some major life changes that are often stressful, but over the years, I’ve learned how tough and determined you are. Plus, you are blessed with wonderful children who will be there for you every step of the way. Enjoy your trip! We’ll be anxiously awaiting to see your picture and here all about it. Stay safe! xo

    Liked by 3 people

    • I will keep you all posted as the internet complies with my desire. Yes, there are a lot of life changes at once but moving forward is the best direction to go. Those darn stink bugs come back every year and cover the whole back of my house until the sun goes down. I’ll keep posting as I can. Thanks for the encouragement, Jill. Hugs

      Liked by 2 people

  10. Marlene, I’m always encouraged by your positive attitude, and the clever way you share the happenings of life. Best of everything to you, my friend!

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks so much, Missy. Positive is the only way one moves forward on any journey. We let go in order to move on or make ourselves miserable. Thanks for continuing to stop by. It’s appreciated. Hope you are doing well in your little corner of the world. Miss seeing you but at least we have the internet. 🙂 Hugs.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I miss you too. As much as the internet and social media drive me crazy at times, it’s a really nice way to stay connected to people. Take care. ☺️

        Liked by 1 person

  11. Take care and all the best. Such a huge amount on your plate.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much for stopping by. I miss reading your posts. It seems you stopped after you lost Jack. I think of you often and hope you are doing well. I do have a lot on my plate now so I can have a lot less later. Trying to lighten my load for the duration. It’s been good to clean out and clear out so much with a move. I think this is #36 coming up and and even # to end the moving on. We had wanted to do a lot of traveling but it seems a little will have to do and that’s ok. Sending hugs your way.

      Liked by 1 person

  12. A touching quote from Mother Theresa. You must feel a bit overwhelmed with the move, Marlene. Start the list but disregard it if and when it is too much. Do what you can manage and remember to breathe. Your son is a trooper. How wonderful! I don’t think the smoke detectors have that toxic metal inside them anymore – I think it was cadmium. I remember we had to be careful with their disposal here some years back. Just mentioning it in case the brand you used is similar. Don’t want any cadmium remnants contaminating your food.
    Take it easy.
    To answer your question about if I miss something out of reach: Yes, I do.
    I miss Scandinavia.

    Liked by 2 people

    • The batteries were all removed from the smoke detectors to go to hazardous waste and they are hardwired into the house so no more cadmium. My lists are ongoing so if it doesn’t get done today, I try again. I have to be flexible with myself. I hear you about missing Scandinavia. That’s why we are taking the trip back to Germany while I can still travel. It’s insane for certain. Winter and covid are not prime travel times but I don’t think I can wait. It feels like it needs to be now. Mother Teresa has always been an inspiration for me. Seeing the world differently than others. I’m hoping for more time to read the blogs I follow and do more writing myself. Thanks for stopping by.. See you soon.

      Liked by 2 people

      • I wondered when you mentioned the home town, thinking it was in Germany, but then I thought, surely not. It is awesome that you are going. Brave too. But you go girl! Enjoy it!

        Liked by 1 person

  13. Moving is no fun. You are one brave, sensible lady. One day at a time, it’s all you can do. And when it’s over, it’s OVER. Your son is a gem, I hope his knee operation was a success. lots of love to you xxx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much Jill. I’m not sure if I’m brave and sensible or have lost my entire mind but it seemed to need to be done now rather than later. My son is one in a million and it’s way past time to get that knee fixed. He’s had trouble with them since he was a teenager and grew too fast. He’s very active and hates when he can play tennis or basketball much less climb a ladder or steps. He’s not even in his mid 50’s just yet. One day at a time works for me. Hugs to you my friend.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I’m going to have to look up stink bugs. We don’t get them here and by thr sound of it we’re lucky.
    Love your son’s hat btw. Not sure it would look so cool in South London!! Good luck with the move when it happens

    Liked by 1 person

  15. It’s a time of changes for me too. I’m also packing stuff up and getting it into a storage unit. The owner of the building I live in is planning on selling come spring and I am looking for a house in a small town that is closer to one of my step-daughters. I had found a house that ticked almost all the boxes but couldn’t get financing fast enough. It would’ve given me the winter to dribble things out of this apartment and down to the house, however that didn’t happen. I don’t have anyone close who can help other than a neighbor who is limited as to time so his job isn’t affected. I guess it’ll all get done. I certainly won’t miss the city or living on a busy, noisy street. I hope you can take your trip soon, I know it’s something very meaningful for you.
    All the best.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m sorry you are going through such a hard situation without any help. I’ve been blessed with those that really try to help as much as they can. I’m hoping to find an independent living facility I can afford since I don’t drive anymore. They are expensive but the sale of the trailer will help. I’m trying to see it in my mind first and then let it find me. Keep me posted as to how you are doing. I’ll keep good thoughts for a successful find of residence. I won’t be looking until we get back from this final trip.

      Liked by 2 people

  16. It’s hard living in chaos, no doubt about it. We all crave and miss the familiar, and with so many unknowns ahead of you, it’s understandable. The things you’re missing all represent home, the place that grounds most of us. Heading towards winter also lends itself to the desire for home and hearth: a good book, lap-sewing, and a hot beverage to soothe the soul.

    I hope your travels are full of wonder and joy, and I hope too that the down days allow you to rest and restore. The photo of your hometown hints at the life you once lived there.

    Sending you love, strength, peace, and a big, squishy hug. xo

    Liked by 2 people

    • You totally get it all. So eloquently written in a way I couldn’t express. The late start may put us too close to Thanksgiving so timing is becoming an issue. My back went out Sunday so I’m off my feet more. Trying to make good use of it. I think appraisal went well even though I could not move any boxes ahead of time. I’ve been thinking of you and will get a note out this week. It will have to be email since I can’t get up to the mailbox just yet. Sending all of the above dittoed to you.

      Like

      • I’m really sorry to hear about your back. That is the worst! It impacts everything. I’m glad you’re resting and hopefully soon you can do some gentle stretching. I look forward to hearing from you via email when time permits, but don’t put any pressure on yourself to send it. xo

        Liked by 1 person

  17. Oh my goodness! I had this draw to pop on here and now I know why! I am going to start praying about your next trail to blaze because that is one thing that I have learned about you – you leave so much light, love and energy in your path that I know, no matter how difficult this is for you, you make the best of each moment. Sending heaps of blessings your way and hopes that the next place finds you soon so your library can be reassembled and your fabric can lay about for your use! much love my friend……….

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thanks so much Wendi. Now you see why I have been absent from blog land fir awhile. My back went out Sunday and I still can’t do any packing. So I’m getting more blogs read. I’ll be by later.

      Like

  18. A challenging time, that’s for sure, Marlene. I hope that all goes smoothly!

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  19. caroline reay said:

    I’m a little worried by “We poured old wine down the drain together…” – tell me that’s a metaphor! Such a difficult time but hopefully so much excitement ahead. Can’t wait to read the future chapters. Good luck with moving out

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you for visiting, Caroline. Not a metaphor at all. I had some wine that the corks dried out and left the wine undrinkable. Gave her 3 bottles of good wine for her efforts and stored the last couple that I won’t have time to drink. Can’t wait to write the future chapters and I’ll need all the luck I can get. Stay tuned.

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  20. As you probably know from my blog posts – I’m missing “freedom to roam” right now as we in the Auckland region of New Zealand have just entered week 10 of a quite severe lockdown. Some days I wake up and want to rebel, and then somewhere after breakfast, I realise that could put me in jeopardy if I got Delta by being in the wrong place @ the wrong time…and I buckle down to my life here and now…
    But I understand that object that you suddenly can’t find – that happens every time I have moved!

    Liked by 2 people

    • I do get what you are saying about the Delta variant and your asthma. You keep taking care of yourself. The missing things happens around here way too often.

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  21. What it is to have wonderful willing children, we are both blessed. But we should take credit for raising them well. As you know and have/are being supportive of I have my own upheavals. I write a to do list for a day and am lucky to complete it in five days. Things just take the time they take. Try to breathe and relax when you can, all this upheaval will be worth it. Hugs, xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much, Cathy. I think that’s why I have so much empathy for you. I’m going through similar trials in the opposite direction. I’m being forced to rest right now as my back declared a holiday. It won’t even let me walk. I understand about the list taking 5 days. We shall prevail.

      Liked by 1 person

  22. Hope you feel better soon. Life does get so much harder when you throw in aches and pains.

    Liked by 1 person

  23. Dear Marlene, I’m sorry to hear of your back. I had a similar thing in September and spent over 3 weeks flat on my back. It’s much better now for the rest, though. So I hope yours is well again soon. Not fun, esp when you have so much on your plate.

    I have to say I hugely admire your storage unit! You can get in and walk down the middle to access things. One of mine is about that size and the other a wee bit shorter. Both are stuffed to the gills . . .

    My solution to that problem of needing something and not having access to it has been to buy more of whatever. (usually fibres, fabrics, art supplies; sometimes clothing). My cousins have to drive me to my units and it’s over a half hour, so not worth it if only for a few items.

    Like you, I am waiting for that place to materialize and then I’ll be able to enjoy my things again. I have art that I’ve acquired or made over the years, books enough for a good library, supplies for almost every craft known to woman, plus a small loom, several sewing machines, etc. And clothes that I’ve loved for ages. It will be like Christmas to finally unpack it all.

    I can truly empathise with you for all you are going through; the world is so much more uncertain that it felt when I was young. I wish I had words of wisdom to share, but all I can say is keep doing what you do best: stay strong and focused, keep your spirits up, ‘see’ that perfect home materializing out of the mists of uncertainty. You have so many friends here in the Virtual Village, as well as family and friends in person. Remember that you are in all our hearts and prayers and do lean on us when you need a wee break. You’ve been such a strong support for so many over these years; let us give back to you when you feel you may falter.

    Sending you much love and big, squishy hugs. Wish they were in person, is all.

    Take care and do update us as possible. But take care of yourself first . . .

    ~ Linne

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for stopping by, Linne. I have a copy of your last letter open in my computer tray waiting for me to reply. I have a couple others waiting too. I’m hoping once this place is sold and we are on our way to AZ to my son’s place, I can catch my breath and do some good writing. Daughter and I will be staying in a motel for a week or so until time to catch our flight to Germany. Keep your fingers crossed. The back is getting better already as I have taken the time to let it heal but still getting some of the business of selling done. I’m terrified but things had to change. Half the storage is my daughters and the other half mine. We have given so much away but still have more to put in. Last minute stuff that we need till we move out. There will be one more big push when we are sure the sale is going through. I’ll try to get the note out soon. Sleep a lot when in pain as you well know. Always thinking of you though. Till later. Hugs M

      Liked by 1 person

      • Don’t worry about the email. If you have time and inclination, fine, but it can wait . . . Do what needs doing first. I hope you get to post at least snippets so we know where you are. I’m wishing you a trip at least as magical as mine was . . . looking forward to your stories someday, too. Hugs back to you. ~ Linne

        Liked by 1 person

      • Will do my best, LInne. I’ll get breathing space soon. Just trying to get a jump on emptying the house before closing of escrow. How did we get so much stuff crammed in here. I will keep you posted.

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  24. Well, you got me all teary-eyed. You write perfectly about how it is with packing and a crazy life. As always, you write from the heart. I would be feeling like being stuck on a roller coaster. Thank goodness for your son and all his help, and for good friends. What an adventure awaits you, Marlene! Please know I am with you in spirit. ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • It does feel like being on a roller coaster, Jennie! And I’m not a fan of roller coasters. This is the scariest thing I’ve ever done. I do have two very wonderful, helpful children who do very different things to help. I appreciate the support, Jennie. I’ll keep you all posted. I sure hope this sale flies because I never want to go through all of this again.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Marlene, you are the second friend in the past few months who have sold their home and plan to ‘see the country’. Yes, this is very scary (and of course exciting.) My fingers are crossed that the sale is a done deal. God bless your children for all their support. Once you ‘take off’ will you have your computer or laptop? I’m hoping you will post your journey as you go along.

        I am so proud of you, Marlene. Really.
        You have always been a rock, and a glass-half-full. Fair winds and following seas, my friend.

        Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, Jennie. We will be traveling with our laptops. My daughter will be able to continue working from Europe and I’ll be able to blog. It’s a trip that can’t wait so we are doing it in winter during a pandemic. I expect smaller crowds. I do have wonderful children without whom I would not or could not do this little adventure.

        Liked by 1 person

      • What a great adventure awaits you! Bless your wonderful children.

        Liked by 1 person

  25. Marlene! That’s your birth town? It’s so beautiful! I’m so excited, SO excited that you get to follow this dream. I swear you have been talking about Germany since we met. And you kept talking about Germany. You and H really have things figured out. I echo Lou, that you are brave. Brave to change (even though you say you are a gypsy, it doesn’t mean you aren’t still brave), brave to take a leap into adventure, brave to leave your beautiful home that saved you, brave to say goodbye to TS, brave to pack up your fabrics and your library, oh my friend, it’s all so big and scary. Everyone has commented on how great TS is to you, and he is, so I will add that your daughter H is also amazing. She is even more brave because her life was different than yours and she is really uprooting herself from what she knows in order to join you on this incredible adventure. I am so impressed and proud of her.

    If it’s sweet kitty photos that make you feel good, I can send pics of my old lady Racecar now and then. ❤ And my chickens too, but not quite yet because they are molting and look wretched. Also, they're sopping wet in all this rain. Half their feathers gone, and the other half are wet and stuck together. Come to think of it, maybe I WILL send a pic of the hens and we can laugh at them together. See you later today!! Hugs hugs

    Liked by 1 person

    • I love all creatures. They ground us. Those poor chickens should be in their pens to stay dry. I hate being wet. I love kittens especially or puppies but farm animals are home and earthy. Being a Virgo, I’m very earthy too. I agree. H’s contributions often get overlooked because they are not as visible so I make a point to make sure she knows how much she is appreciated. She wants this trip even more than I do. She needs to experience the world. You understand that. This is my last chance to do this with her. Now or never. Now is better. I’ll keep in touch.

      Liked by 1 person

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