Looking for answers to life's questions

Posts tagged ‘home’

In Search of Giving Thanks

In two days, my daughter and I will be celebrating Thanksgiving Day at a local restaurant together. Neither of us have the stamina for cooking, cleaning or being polite company. I love to eat out, usually bringing home enough leftover food for another meal or two. Yes, I miss the big family gatherings, but life changes and we have to be adaptable. Isn’t that what the pilgrims did? Adapting to a new land and create new customs and traditions. I’m in a new land and just starting to make new friends.

Mrs Pilgrim is in hiding. She wants no part of the turkey cooking this year.

This week has been especially dizzy. Odd way to describe a week I know, but the events that add even the slightest stress, cause, for some unknown reason, extreme dizziness. Stress can be good. In this instance some of it is. My house in Arizona went into escrow! After two seasons on the market, a buyer appeared.

I’m going to share a little synchronicity with you. When we were trying to sell my mother’s manufactured home, someone suggested that I get this statue of St. Joseph and bury him in the yard with his feet up. That would help sell the house. “Don’t be ridiculous”, was my response. But I bought one anyway. We finally ended up selling to my son. So much for St. Joe.

Last week I found the flyer that came with the statue. The statue is long gone. So I stood the flyer on my dresser and said a prayer of sorts. I’m not Catholic or any other formal religion but I firmly believe in prayers that don’t involve “gimme”. It was just a “let someone that will enjoy the home have it now” kind of prayer. I kid you not, two days later, we had an offer. Not a great offer, but an offer none the less.

He’s done his job, now I must do mine.

Now for the bad part of the stress. My ex didn’t want to lower the asking price and negotiating with him has been part of the reason we are no longer together. I’ve had to work through this sale with him all week-long. Oddly, he has been more compliant than ever. Now we must see where the home inspection leaves us to see if we can both move on. The buyers are getting the house for what we paid for it 13 years ago.

So on Thanksgiving Day, I will be more than grateful to be in this new land with at least one family member, eating what I hope is a good meal. The sun will shine for the only day in several weeks. I’m fascinated that even the weather co-operates on Thanksgiving Day. I’m hoping to add the sale of our home to my list of things for which I am deeply grateful. I am regaining my health, slowly. I have a wonderful family and friends as well as a cozy place to live. I hope your Thanksgiving Day is rich with blessings no matter when or how you celebrate. I’m grateful you are all there.

Thanksgiving Day is a jewel, to set in the hearts of honest men; but be careful that you do not take the day, and leave out the gratitude. ~ E. P. Powell

From my heart to yours,
Marlene

In Search of the Comfort of Home

It’s moving day. I can’t begin to express how excited I am. Except for a short period of 7 months, I have been without “home” for 2 years and 10 days. It’s my own choice of course. There are many reasons to be home-less. I may even consider it again at some point in time which is what makes apartment renting somewhat attractive.

Originally, I preferred to try to purchase something small so I wouldn’t have to do this move thing again. The house in Arizona hasn’t sold so purchasing one isn’t an option right now. It’s expensive to move, to say the least and time-consuming. Pack it up, then unpack it, then pack it up again. I’m really good at it if you need help with your move. I was bragging to someone yesterday that when my last husband and I moved from California to Arizona, I packed and moved 40 thousand pounds worth of our “stuff”. Books weigh a lot. The only thing that broke was something I had not packed myself. We had a yard sale before that move, selling $3,000 worth of “stuff”. That’s not counting what I talked him into giving away.

I wanted to simplify our lives only to wind up with more of the same. My move to Oregon, alone, was with a rented 26 foot truck. Now I will live in 1000 square feet rather than 3000. At 64 years of age, that’s enough to take care of while having the time to pursue more creative endeavors.

After spending over 50 years cooking, cleaning and caregiving, which I thoroughly enjoyed, I have reached the point where I want my home to be a place of comfort for myself as well as my guests. Now, I think that can finally be done. I have learned in the last two years to say NO. Doing it my way is now an option. I can put up my favorite artwork where I want to see it. The lights can be on when I want them on because I’m paying the bill. I can have my windows open for fresh air. That’s why they invented quilts, isn’t it?

What makes your residence a home? I have moved over 30 times in my life so home is almost a foreign concept. Is it a place you park your “stuff”? Can it be more than that? Especially if it’s an apartment and not a home you own. My grown children don’t even have that sense of “home”. We moved quite a bit when they were young though my daughter went through school in almost one neighborhood. Home was not the comfort zone I had hoped it to be.

My daughter said a home is the place that reflects your inner self and nourishes the soul. In doing so it helps you to heal. My last apartment was small, dark and a bit chilly but it gave me time to do nothing but heal. As many people as I manage to talk to, no one has ever heard of Bells Palsy manifesting in the way it showed up for me.

I’m hoping to make new friends to invite to my home; where we can share ideas and laughter. Maybe teach a niece or two to sew, quilt or embroider. I’m looking forward to finding out what my Style is. Of course, it appears to be what I’ve scrounged from here and there but soon my real style may surface. How did you discover your style? I’ve been looking on Pinterest for mine but can’t seem to duplicate what I think I like at the thrift stores. I’ll keep looking though.

My new place has a nice “feel” to it. Is that what makes it comfortable? Is it the bottle of wine in the fridge to make a toast and celebrate another milestone in life? I look forward to hearing from you.

I had spent my whole life feeling homesick. The only difference between the two of us was that I didn’t know what or where home was.”
― Marian Keyes, Lucy Sullivan Is Getting Married

From my heart to yours,
Marlene

In Search of My Home

Finding a place to live shouldn’t be so difficult, should it? It’s not like I’m asking for a mansion. I just want a small cottage with a front porch so I can meet my neighbors. They have to be nice and not let their dogs bark from 3:00 a.m. until 5:00 a.m. It has several fruit and nut trees in the yard as well as vegetable, flower and herb gardens. The cottage in my mind is a two story place. It has a workshop attached for all my sewing and crafts. That way no one can see my mess while I create. The most important room in the house by far is the library. I can use either the living room or the kitchen for that purpose. The only reason I have a kitchen is because it comes with the house anyway. I am not a good cook.

I can’t buy a place right now. I still own one with my ex-husband and it just will not sell. It’s overpriced and no one can convince him to lower the price to selling status. The realtor and I both tried. That means we’d all get less money but let’s be realistic here. In certain areas, the market is still not rebounding. Our little town is one of those areas. So the cottage of my dreams is still on hold.

My other option is to rent. Rental homes are more expensive than apartments. On my tiny budget that means I look at apartments. After making the list of what is imperative in an apartment, I found the complex I wanted to check out. It was across the street from the community college, had 2 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms and in-unit laundry. They had on premises garages to rent for all my extra stuff, an exercise room as well as covered parking. On top of that, it’s within walking distance to a quilt store, restaurant and grocery. It couldn’t get much better than that. My sister finally had time to check them out for me as I’m a thousand miles away. She gave it two thumbs up. So I called to find out the criteria for qualifying.

That was in April. I was a little short on the required income at the time. When I finally got the income up to their standards, I checked again. The rent had gone up. Yes, they can do that in Oregon. I’ve been to complexes when my sister was looking for an apartment that changed the rates day by day depending on demand. They have us by the shirt tails. We all need a place to live and my standards are way up there.

I finally figured out how to meet the income requirements and called again to reserve a unit at my arrival date. Now there are none available. I feel like I’m banging my head against a brick wall and it’s starting to hurt. There are plenty of other places to look at but this one seemed perfect for me. What’s an old woman to do?

I guess we wing it. I’ll trust that there is a plan I know nothing about in play here and go on faith that something pops loose. Maybe I’ll see that cottage and it will be for rent really cheap. No, I’m not awake yet. Let me dream a little longer, please.

All the world is made of faith, and trust, and pixie dust.”
― J.M. Barrie, Peter Pan

From my heart to yours,
Marlene