Looking for answers to life's questions

Posts tagged ‘invisibility’

In Search of my Fashionista

I read a post last week by “To Breathe is to Write” that got my writing juices flowing. She hit on a topic of conversation that I can be quite verbose about given the opportunity. I’m taking that opportunity now. If you go back and read this post, you’ll see what got me going.

She mentioned not being a Fashionista. I could so relate. I’ve rarely had the funds for fashion. I barely had the funds for clothes and by the time high school arrived, I made three skirts in basic black, brown and navy stretch with six basic blouses.Then, in the 80’s and 90’s they were selling a lot of prepackaged color packets. I went to a seminar on personal colors. This seminar was about doing it differently and I was interested.

What I learned, after getting so hooked that I studied for a whole year, was that a lot of women dress in a way that makes them invisible. I actually had a client come back and ask me how to be invisible while traveling in parts of the world where her safety wasn’t assured. I knew the tricks and her travels went well.

During much of my life I have wanted to be invisible and as I’ve aged, found that to be quite easy. But that’s a whole other topic. Recently, I got rid of all my man shirts and have sought out a softer, more fun and feminine look. Since I can’t buy what I want, I’m trying to sew it.

My course taught me that color and style should reflect the personality and coloring of each individual. Family members often don’t wear the same colors. Age had little to do with it, personality and coloring was where the statement starts. I’m considerably more energetic than my daughter. My colors can be a tad brighter but not as bright or bold as someone who loves the spotlight. If you watch news anchors or talk show hosts like Ellen, see if you can tell when what they wear just makes their eye colors pop. That’s when they have your attention. The rest of the time you are looking at the color of their clothes. The clothes are wearing them.

If you are in business, a teacher, leader, boss, or anytime you need to get someone to pay attention to what you say, wear colors that draw attention to your eyes. It doesn’t need to be expensive or even the latest style. Your clothes should not command more attention than your face and specifically, your eyes.

I have never been a fashion slave. My style now is classic with pops of noisy, effervescence. Clothes should also tell the truth about who you are at first glance. Are you quiet, bouncy, take charge, artistic or walking on air with aloofness? The first 10 seconds tell people everything. Tell them the truth; not what some young designer wants for your truth to be. If you want to be invisible, go for it but understand you are creating that. That applies to men as well as women.

I wore a lot of monochromatic. It was my way of staying quiet. I'm really quite noisy. Now I wear more colors at a time.

I wore a lot of monochromatic. It was my way of staying quiet. I’m really quite noisy. Now I wear more colors at a time.

Also, no one is just one color harmony. We have two parents, and lots of grandparents. My daughter was a struggle for me in every way from the moment she could walk and talk. I could not even do her colors, taking her instead to my instructor. As an Autumn/Summer, her personality was strong and quiet at the same time. Talk about mixed messages. Her energy was slower than mine and her colors had to reflect that. We have been better friends since I learned her harmonies. And yes, sometimes she blows off what she knows looks best and wears what she just likes. Sometimes it’s just not so important.

I carrry these with me all the time. My couch matches my colors too.

I carrry these with me all the time. My couch matches my colors too.

Her brother has her same eye color but more energy, as his colors reflect. When talking to him about this post he reminded me that we most often pick out colors by how they make us feel or by how we want to feel. That said, I will tell you that everyone can wear every color. It’s the value and tone. Yellow is a tricky one but there is a shade of yellow for you. Yellow makes us happy. Blue, trustworthy etc.

There are colors I love, but they don’t love me. I like purple, but a warm berry doesn’t swallow me whole. I have to do purples in pens or vases. Even my quilts tend to be more my colors since I’m going to be sitting around them and I want to look nice near them. Oops, is that a bit of vanity creeping in.

Light was essential for clients sitting in front of me. Those drawers held Thousands of color swatches.

Light was essential for clients sitting in front of me. Those drawers held Thousands of color swatches.

Most of the time, it’s hard to find our colors in fashion. When I do, I snag it. I’m still in the basics but my shirts are more often in my colors

even my quilt has my colors. I'm drawn to them naturally now.

even my quilt has my colors. I’m drawn to them naturally now.

Like I said, this is a passionate subject for me and since I’m trying to make friends, it’s time to take off the cloak of invisibility. Do you ever wonder why the clerk at the store ignores you? How do you choose what to wear? Do you long to command respectful attention or be invisible?

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself