Looking for answers to life's questions

Posts tagged ‘Mothers’

In Search of a Great Mother’s Day

Another Mother’s Day come and gone. I’m hoping everyone had a wonderful day. This includes those that have mothered pets or even a creative idea into fruition. You can mother lots of things or people. I have had many surrogate moms in my life. I would not be who I am without them so never underestimate your value to mother a middle aged woman or a lonely child. Mothers of every kind are valuable beyond belief.

I had an extra special day. My daughter took me for High Tea in downtown Portland at the Heathman Hotel. We took the MAX (intercity train) downtown and then a streetcar to our favorite metaphysical bookstore before tea. We had other reasons to celebrate but that will be another post very soon. Tea was wonderful and my daughter was so happy to finally be able to afford to do something special for me. She has struggled for the last few years with unemployment or underemployment. There was some discomfort on my part with her spending so much for the lovely tea, but the look on her face erased that.

It tasted even better than it looked. Yum.

It tasted even better than it looked. Yum.

My son sent me a special digital card that I will share at a later date and some kindle books I had on my wish list as well as all the love he could squeeze through the phone lines. He reminds me daily that I’m a good mom and valued. What more could a mom ask for. I guess it would be to have them both close by. One can only hope.

Hats are necessary at tea.

Hats are necessary at tea.

What makes a good mother? I’ve worried myself over that question for over 40 years. Yes, I’m that old. I’ve learned from my children some of what they appreciated about their mother. They seem most happy when I stood up for myself or for them. I’ve been a bear when it came to their care. They appreciate that I’m willing to push out of my comfort zone regularly and be fearlessly independent but ask for and accept help when needed. In essence, I want my children to be as proud of me as I am of them. They both have huge hearts and are fearlessly honest. If I can measure up even a little to who they think I am, I’ll be happy. Being a mom has been my greatest desire, delight and accomplishment.

My favorite color roses from my favorite daughter.

My favorite color roses from my favorite daughter.

There has been a lot of help along the way. I thank everyone who helped me be the best mother I could be with what I had to work with and I thank the two wonderful adult children that made it so easy. I’d do it again in a heartbeat.

What do you think makes a good mother?

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of the Moms In My Life

Mother’s Day comes every year bringing a full range of emotions and memories. I am a very fortunate mom. I have two of the best adult children any mother could receive. Yes, they are a gift that I cherish every day. I’m also lucky enough since they feel the same way about me. My son has been thinking about Mother’s Day for awhile and sent two hanging baskets for me to put plants in and hang on my balcony. He ordered them from my favorite website, that gives extra food to the shelter animals when you order from them. I never miss a day to click on their site though I have never ordered from them. I finally got them planted this week. He also sent an electric sander so I can start working on some furniture I want to refinish.

This one will be in full sun. The basket says "Believe"

This one will be in full sun. The basket says “Believe”

This basket will have more shade. Plenty of purple flowers there.

This basket will have more shade. Plenty of purple flowers there.

My daughter is taking me to my first ever, Mother’s Day brunch at my favorite German restaurant. No dieting on Mother’s Day for me. She gifts me with her time and company every week as well. That is worth its weight in gold. Brunches these days are quite pricey.

Mother’s Day always has me looking at the women in my life that mothered me. There were several that filled in the blanks. My first mother-in-law was one of those mother figures for me. She wasn’t all that fond of me since her son and I married way too young and she knew it. When push came to shove, she stepped up to the plate and was there to advise and console. She always said, “you can spoil a child with things, but not with love”. I learned so much from her including how to cook good, healthy meals.

This was a Mother's Day and the little bunch of flowers really wasn't enough.

This was a Mother’s Day and the little bunch of flowers really wasn’t enough.

The most important mother figure was my Great-Aunt Lucille. You can see that by the time this photo was taken, she had even mothered my mom enough to soften her and bring out her warmer nature. Aunt Lucille literally saved my life when I was a teenager in the throes of a meltdown. She taught me a different way to be in the world and how to loosen up just a little. She taught me about makeup and other things teen girls should know. I also had my young aunt to help with some of that but Aunt Lucille mothered like no one I’d ever known. I sent her flowers and cards once I was able, to let her know how much she meant to me. She loved and mothered many more even though she never had biological children. She was what you would call a “character” and I adored her. I wanted to be just like her and I really tried.

Mom and Great Aunt Lucille. Happy Mom's Day.

Mom and Great Aunt Lucille. Happy Mom’s Day.

So to all of you who are mothers, have mothers or still need to be mothered, Happy Mother’s Day.

“Being a mother is an attitude, not a biological relation.”Robert A. Heinlein

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself