Looking for answers to life's questions

Posts tagged ‘perspective’

Bumper stickers

I’ve collected a few bumper stickers but I never put them on my car. No one on the road is interested in my philosophy. They just want me to get out of their way so they can go faster. I am not a slow driver in the fast lane and I don’t, for the most part, drive in the slow lane. On the road as well as in life, I tend to go with the flow to some degree. I will take a stand about something I believe in and if you are going too slow in the fast lane, I’ll find a way around you, carefully and with consideration. They won’t let me install a lift mechanism on the front of my car to move you physically so I have to do a mind meld.

 

My favorite

My sister puts lots of bumper stickers on her truck. She has a lot to say to the world. I love reading bumper stickers, but many make people want to hammer the vehicle or smack the driver on the back of the head and ask what is wrong with them. You know that feeling. Of course, I restrain myself because we are all going to see things from a different perspective. I’ll be nice to you even if yours is wrong.

An extension of my sister.

 

 

My license plate frame says “A creative mind is never tidy”. I really need that hanging from my front door to let people know what to expect if they decide to enter my home. Bumper stickers tell people a lot about you. Maybe more than you want them to know or is safe for them to know about you. I keep them for my own reference about who I am in case I get lost some days. I will never put anything derogatory towards anyone or anything out there. There is enough hate without adding even a slice of it to the world.

 

My beliefs are quite strong, and I’ve done my research. I’m sure everyone else feels the same way about theirs. I can hang my views in my home for all who enter to see. I do not want to start an argument or a debate. My verbal skills are too limited to make many understand my perspective. I also have a great deal of difficulty with confrontation of any nature. My sister is the brave one in our family.

All I fully understand is that whatever view I hold, it will always come from a place of caring and kindness. Nothing else matters. So I’m sharing some of my bumper stickers here where the only thing that can be hurt are my feelings and I’ll get over that quick enough. I still like to be mostly invisible on the road. My Angels have learned to move very quickly and keep the police radar guns aimed elsewhere.

Do you proudly display your bumper stickers or do you slide under the radar in traffic?

From my heart to yours,

Marlene Herself

In Search of Snippets

I have been struggling to find topics I want to share even though there is plenty going on. Some things are just not that interesting to others. You know what I mean. It’s when someone wants to tell you something that has been happening for them and it sounds like “waa, waa, waa” to your ears.

Last weekend my sister came to visit bringing her daughter and a friend. After a good visit, she wanted to go out for a light dinner. So we headed to Sweet Tomato’s, where we could each get what we liked. They went through the line first and I followed up the rear. After I paid for my meal, my sister returned to help me with my tray even though there is always someone working there who offers. Trays are awkward with the cane. She whispered that she had set us beside some interesting people.

As we started to approach our table in that very crowded restaurant, a group came directly at me with no way to go around. All I saw was an older woman with very white hair extending out from around her head in halo form, come face to face with me. She smiled and then reached up to me, planting a kiss right on my lips. Her face radiated pure joy in the most glowing, ethereal way. Her son, apparently, right behind her looked uncomfortable. She said something I do not remember but it spoke of happiness to see everyone. I looked at her and felt nothing but love so I offered a full hug. She was delighted to accept and I was warmly embraced. We stopped traffic for several moments. Her son thanked me, but I was the one who benefitted.

Apparently, she had Alzheimer’s. As my sister had pointed out, we were sitting right next to them. I’m sure she gave her family much to be concerned with, but, she left me with a different perspective on the noisy crowd that day. Through her eyes, I could delight in all the excitement of each moment watching everyone sharing their meals. She was looking at everything with such childlike delight and joy. I felt bathed in that Angelic light of love and joy. I basked in it for several days and still get overwhelmed at the memory of the experience.

Delightful moments come when you are least expecting them. I wish I could have taken a photo of her but I was too close and it would have probably caused some anxiety for her family. These are the snippets of life that secret their way to you, reminding you to appreciate the good with the difficult. Have you had snippets of joy when you weren’t expecting them? I certainly wish them for you.

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of My Power

I just realized that after 26 years, I’m back to square one. I’m once again divorced. I really did not want that more than anyone can imagine. I wanted the fairy tale. It looked like I had it most days. Then once in a while I would wake up and look around and say to myself, “I sold out”. Yup, that’s what I did. Finally 25 months ago this illness (Bells Palsy) woke me with a sledge-hammer. After over 2 years, it’s still pounding on me to wake up and get with it.

My brain has never worked exceedingly well for a variety of reasons. I won’t explain because it’s not nice to speak ill of the dead. I have worked around that to some degree by having a large portion of common sense. Intuition helps me a great deal when I listen to it. It’s the listening part that usually trips me up. I’ve given meditation a half-hearted try on numerous occasions but always find a walk or working in the yard, when I have one to work in, are more meditative than sitting. I’m a list maker and quiet time releases very long lists. But I haven’t given up on the sitting, breathing meditation. It seems to work best if I do it before I have my coffee.

I guess my point here is that my life feels like it’s moved to the outhouse. It started out tough enough then just did the roller coaster thing. Lives can be viewed from many different perspectives. Anywhere I look, I see tougher and supposedly easier lives than mine but right this minute, from my vantage point, I’m in the outhouse. It is indeed not in the cardboard box under the bridge. Heck, I have computer access, what more could a person need? That access keeps me going forward if I let it. I also have with me some of the books that have always been my lifeline.

Growing up in a generation that said children should be seen and not heard taught us that only others could decide what was best for us. If we had a thought, it was dismissed as worthless and useless. So was it any wonder that I would choose to partner with men who were dismissive of me. Worse still, I agreed with them and continued to allow it. So here I am at retirement age with nothing to retire from or with and my health compromised. I made some serious mistakes but it’s not too late. Now comes the time to find out of what stuff I’m really made. It’s time to take back My Power. When things hit the fan, I always allow myself 10 minutes on the pity pot and then I have to pull myself together and come up with a plan.

So what do I do to get my power back? First I have to stop giving it away. Then care enough about myself to restore my health. Intuition and common sense say no wellness and no quality of life come from eating too much of anything. I finally started listening while I’m meditating. So the food has cleaned up once again but not with as much rigidness this time. And I’m walking more again. Even without the dog. Yes, my knees hurt so I take a pain reliever. So far the cane has kept me from falling when my balance fails me.

I have daily motivational e-mails from Daily Om, Neale Donald Walsh, Abraham Hicks, Nightingale-Conant and Mike Dooley’s notes from the Universe. They start my day after I click on the Animal Rescue Site to donate a cup of food for strays. My life is better than theirs so I want to pay it forward in a way that only requires moments. Then I usually get a giggle or something thought-provoking from one of my e-mail friends or family. I get lots of e-mails about all the writing courses out there I can’t yet take advantage of but save for some time in the future. I’m assuming there is a future for me.

I have set the EX and his family’s phone numbers to go automatically to voice mail. That means I get to choose when to have that conversation and have my support in place before being attacked. Lessening exposure to toxic people is a beginning. Then I watch my own toxic thinking and speaking. Thoughts as well as words can carry a powerful impact. I can express my disappointment without character assassination. I didn’t do it with the first divorce and I will not do it now. I’m thinking the EX must be running out of pins to stick into my voodoo doll because I’m starting to get better. Soon, I know it will be soon as long as I watch my stress levels and my thoughts.

I had considered taking a writing class at the community college when it occurred to me that an instructor may decide I’m really not good at this and I would most likely quit. That would again be giving my power away. Interesting how things light up when you pay attention. I’ll have to be very careful with that now that I’m aware. I’m open to all ideas of how to find my own power and how you found yours. We are all in this together, even the EX’s.

From my heart to yours,
Marlene

In Search of Life’s Witnesses

I went to a funeral this past Friday. It’s the first one I’ve gone to in years. It was for the woman who was our landlady for the first years we moved to California. Her mother lived in the house next door to us most of the years I lived there. Her mom was in her late 90’s when she passed. Our sweet landlady lived to 3 months shy of 98. Her baby sister who was taking care of all the festivities was 84 years young. You wouldn’t guess her to be a day over 70 and more agile and active than I am at 63.

The chapel at the memorial gardens was filled with friends. Neither of the sisters had children but their lives have been filled with friends who became family. Usually by 98 most of your friends are already gone. These 2 women had almost 80 good friends to support their journey through life as well as each other.

It brought to light how small my community of family and friends has become. The divorce made it so much smaller but then, there was no solid family connection there anyway. You can lose a lot of friends when couples part and move away. I’m still trying to keep in touch with them by e-mail. Also, being a child of a military family meant I met lots of people but managed to keep so few close other than in my heart. I work hard to keep close contact with my family but most have busy lives and their own agendas.

Being ill for so long with Bells Palsy has also reduced the size of my world even more. Having no home of my own for a year and a half kept me from opening my circle wider. I’ve always thought of myself as a gypsy and love traveling and meeting new people, learning new customs and trying new foods but I also finally want to find that place where I feel at home and can open that home to a wide variety of fellow travelers through life. I’ve often wondered if the gypsy life is part of what always made me feel like I was dropped on the wrong planet. I never quite fit anywhere and am still searching for that place that feels safe and nourishing to me.

I don’t expect to make it to 98 and not sure I’d know what to do with myself with that much time but it certainly could be interesting to give it a go. I know for certain that I would love to have a place where friends could congregate and exchange ideas and information not to mention share a glass of tea or wine. Everything tastes better when shared with a friend.
Bells Palsy has given me time to reflect and make some very necessary changes in my life. I plan to live the rest of it on purpose, with purpose. I’m reducing the opportunity for people to bring conflict into my environment. Nerve damage tells me too many and too much have gotten on my nerves and I had none left. That’s what Bells Palsy is for me. One seriously damaged nerve. But it’s healing, slowly. We are betting that by the time the pension issue is settled and the house is sold, I will be fully recovered. Why didn’t this go away in a few weeks like it has for so many others? Everyone says when they hear I have Bells Palsy that “it goes away, doesn’t it”? Well, usually but not always. But it’s not the worst thing in the world. To die with no friends to witness your life would be the worst thing in the world for me. It’s something I want so much to remedy.

I have friends and family quite literally scattered throughout the world. If my face stays paralyzed forever, I’ll make the best of it. Not being able to drive to visit the friends and family in this country or fly and drive to see those in other countries is the part I most desperately want to have heal. I want to drive myself to a spiritual center or a writers group or a class. Till that time comes, I take the bus where it will get me and be ever grateful for the family I have close by to love and assist. I will give encouragement to those that are struggling with tougher dilemmas. There are plenty of those to go around. They make me feel like my life is a piece of cake. It’s all about perspective.

From my heart to yours,
Marlene