Looking for answers to life's questions

Posts tagged ‘Qi Gong’

In Search of Good Intentions

I just finished reading a great blog about Nothing. First, it made me laugh and brightened up a gray and foggy day then it jarred something loose. Last year at this time, the cave called me and I retreated. I love holidays but no longer have the stamina to do it the way that that I did in years gone by. Sound familiar?

Waking up in the dark is taking more energy than waking up in the sunshine. I wake at 5:00 a.m. but some days it takes till 6:30 or 7:00 to roll out. It’s not like I have a job to go to or a husband or kids waiting to be fed and taken care of. My daughter thinks I’m nuts because at my age, I should be sleeping in. Shouldn’t I?

I'm leaving it like that till I do my Qi Gong.  Half reg/half decaf.

I’m leaving it like that till I do my Qi Gong. Half reg/half decaf.

Every morning I wake up with the best of intentions. I plan to have my coffee and write in my journal. That’s a given without fail. The next part is tricky. I intend to do some form of exercise, then go to my computer and see who’s come to visit. Most days I get that part backward. By the time I’ve looked at my e-mail, I’m hungry and slosh from the coffee. Can I exercise on that? Some days it takes me till noon to get to my workout. I excuse myself with the fact that the exercise makes me too dizzy to do much after. True, but not good enough. So it’s back to the exercise first. I’m rolling out the mat before I go to bed. The coffee won’t even be turned on until I’m done.

It stares at me till I do the work. I have to walk across it to sit down.

It stares at me till I do the work. I have to walk across it to sit down.

You know the old phrase, “the road to hell is paved with good intentions”? Well, for me it’s been a long road. Good intentions require follow through or they are just wishes. I wish I was thin and rich?

Finally got another batch done. Even by machine, they take a lot of time.

Finally got another batch done. Even by machine, they take a lot of time.

I always intend to get this project done or that one started. Then the machine gives me fits. Aren’t electronics wonderful? They supply so many reasons to sit and read a good book or watch a sappy movie. When I see the pattern forming, there is no one around to call me on it. It’s a self-correcting situation for me. So I get out a notebook and make my list. On one side are the things I’ve manage to accomplish since the holidays. You know the best way to get a child to do better is to praise them for what they have done. Then you can show them what they can do better. I have to be my own parent so the other side of the list must be shorter than the praise side. Yippee!

This will be part of a wedding shower gift so please don't tell. It was supposed to be for Christmas but was meant to wait.

This will be part of a wedding shower gift so please don’t tell. It was supposed to be for Christmas but was meant to wait.

How do you handle your good intentions that are wandering to the wayside? I’m all ears here.

Good intentions are not enough. They’ve never put an onion in the soup yet.~ Sonya Levien

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of a New Routine

The saying is, “the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.” It’s something which I seem to have a lot of experience. I’ve had a pattern since I became ill more than 3 years ago to get a ton of rest, watch some TV, read and eat food that required very little effort on my part. There is a V groove in my carpet from my bed to the kitchen to the chair and back again. Any wonder why I’ve gained (a lot of) weight?

Most mornings I would get up, get a cup of coffee, do my journaling, (morning pages) meditate, read my email and think about exercising. I HATE exercising. Just beat me with a stick and get it over with. I was hungry after the coffee and all the reading so it was time to make something to eat. You can’t exercise on a full stomach so more time would go by and I’d find more excuses. The fitness center is at the bottom on a tiny hill and it’s free though quite small. Another excuse.

Something has changed. I’m not sure what it is but I’m feeling better. I found a new spiritual center on Palm Sunday. It felt like I was home. Then,trying once again to do my Qi Gong exercises, I noticed that I’m not losing my balance if I do it early in the morning. Logic would have it that I change my pattern. Ok, I have a logical mind. Now I get up, turn on the DVD player and begin. One good day lead to the next. I only took Easter Sunday off. I didn’t need to but it was a good excuse. Then I read Simple Abundance by Sarah Ban Breathnach for that day and begin writing my morning pages. Coffee comes with the e-mail. Yay! It’s watered down, half decaf, half regular coffee but since I’m recovering from a stress induced illness, I try to take it easy on my system. I just can’t give up the coffee.

A very gentle start for those who and do little

A very gentle start for those who can do little

It's a gentle combination of Tai Chi and Yoga  Easier than most and a great start

It’s a gentle combination of Tai Chi and Yoga Easier than most and a great start

On nice days I’ve been taking a walk, with my cane, of course, increasing the distance slowly after the long shut-in winter. I have no yard right now but trying to plant a bit in pots to insure outside activity. I’m finding that I can sew again and even concentrate enough to tackle a project or two that has been on hold all these years.

I've had this for years. Any daily inspiration works.

I’ve had this for years. Any daily inspiration works.

My health is the number one priority, and I’m finally acting on it. No more sitting and waiting for it to return. Being a person who requires routine, I’ve turned mine upside down and do the hard thing first. It will get easier with time. The e-mail will have to go to later in the day as well. I’ll scan it for business that needs to be taken care of, then proceed to the next hardest job. Does this mean I’m no longer insane? Hmmm. I doubt it, but we can hope.

Do you require a regular routine or can you just go with the flow?

The secret of your future is hidden in your daily routine. ~ Mike Murdock

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself

In Search of Hope

In the last week or so I have been trying something new. Energy Medicine and Qi Gong. Figured it couldn’t hurt and I can do it without falling over. The Qi Gong exercises are a little like Yoga and Tai Chi combined and the Energy medicine is similar in that you do some tapping and moving to awaken the flow of energy in your body. Kind of airy-fairy but like I said, nothing else has worked so I gave it a shot.

On Thursday morning as I was folding up my bed, yes, it’s a sofa bed, I turned my head to look out the window to watch the wind blowing the trees. The turning of my head brought on that snap of a tense muscle in my neck that shot up into my head. It was on my left side that was already tensed from the Bells Palsy. My first thought was of what we used to call a crick in the neck. I’ve had them before and they can be quite painful till they let go.

This one sent a searing sensation up into my head and being somewhat of a worry wart, I wondered for a nano second if it could be an aneurism or a tiny stroke. Well, in an instant it let go. Just that little pop and when I worked to relax my neck and body, it was over. Wow! Did I get lucky. No crick and I felt oddly a bit better. It was as though something tight in my neck had finally let go of something in my head. Since my face has been paralyzed for close to 2 years now and everything on that left side is attached, any tiny bit of relief is a big deal.
I have looked for signs of healing in the most minuscule of changes. Standing in one spot without weaving for more than a few seconds is big. Being able to hold water in my mouth when I brush my teeth is big. Drinking out of a cup without a straw although very carefully is really big. You would think I was 2 again. And the feeling I had after the neck pop was big. I stood there a few moments to feel what was going on. Oddly, I felt slightly less dizzy. Still not planning on going down the stairs without holding onto the railing but something has changed. I can’t put my finger on it and maybe I want it so badly that I’m not sure if it’s my imagination or if I’m really getting better.

I so wanted to work outside in the yard that day since it’s what I love to do but the wind was blowing hard and it wasn’t as warm as I need right now. The Chinese believe that wind and cold are what set off Bells Palsy. I know it was cold and windy when I got it so I’m not taking any more chances. I wear a hat everywhere now. My head is so sensitive I even wear one to bed. And that’s where I went. To bed for a short nap. Remember, my bed is a sofa and a short one so the nap was a short one too. But I have finally deduced that rest is the most essential part of this healing process. I hate rest. I’m a go go go kind of girl. The more I can get done in a day the happier I am. But if I want to get well I have to go less and rest more.

My vision seems to have settled down from the constant dance a bit as well since the non crick episode. Just a tiny bit better. My son looked at my one good eye that actually has real vision and is the one that is unfortunately also paralyzed and asked me to try to move that muscle and open it more. Still can’t be done. I can’t lift the eyebrow and wink. When I’m the slightest bit tired, the eye just barely holds open. I think that part will be the last to heal. But the jumpy part where everything feels like it’s swimming and bouncing around me seems calmer. I believe I will be able to drive soon and have planned for month 24 to be the end of it. I have made it my mantra. I will be well at the 2 year mark! I will make my body believe it too. There is a glimmer of hope and I’m hanging on tight.

From my heart to yours,
Marlene