In Search of Something to Say

While trying to re-evaluate the purpose of why I blog, I had to look at the many ways it has helped me. The original intent was to find anyone that had a similar experience to mine with Bells Palsy. I wanted answers and help in recovering from this very debilitating illness.

What I received from this blog was something different altogether. Being a very private person who works hard to keep emotions and personal matters to myself or in my journal, I have been forced to go outside my comfort zone by putting myself out there for scrutiny and possible criticism. Bloggers, it turns out, are a kind and encouraging group of people. They have helped me to grow and thereby continue to heal.

I have heard from great writers who are willing to share their skills and be patient with mine. I have heard from crafters, gardeners, teenagers and grandmothers. As a person whose world has become so much smaller due to this illness, several moves and a divorce resulting in a loss of extended family as well as friends, I have found a community that is willing to share themselves with me. I want them all to know how much I appreciate their encouragement. They didn’t even need to have a similar experience in life to be available for someone else.

Now that I’m driving a bit more, changing my focus from illness to wellness and living a full life, what will I have to say to you? I’m not sure I have an answer yet. Maybe you can let me know if anything I have to say moves you.

My last husband was a talker which I think is rare for a man. Every thought in his head came out of his mouth. You remember the cartoon bubbles that had blab, blab, blab written in them? That’s kind of how it seemed but I always listened anyway because you never knew if there was a grain of something important in that monologue. I became silent during that marriage because he was so busy talking, there was no listening (on his part). That’s when I began to write in journals. I want my writing now to be like my conversations; clear and to the point. I’m not full of fluff and flowery speech. I have friends who write beautiful, flowery prose. I envy them and enjoy reading their work. It’s just not me. I’m a Virgo if that clears up anything.

My interests are as varied as quantum physics (did you know time may be slowing down even though it feels like it’s speeding up) to quilting. I have moved over 30 times, lived in 3 countries and 10 states. I love technology and learning about Facebook, Pinterest, my Droid and now blogging. There is a lot of information out there. It gets a little harder to absorb as I get older. I love reading almost anything but romance for obvious reasons (twice divorced and done). In all of that, do I have anything to say? I don’t want to babble about unimportant things. Silence is golden especially when you don’t have it. I have an aversion to diarrhea of the mouth.

There are many things I feel strongly about. Mistreatment of animals can send me over the edge. They have no voice to say they are being abused or neglected. How we care for our planet is another big one. I am an organic gardener composting all our green waste. My son is thrilled with all the holes I’ve dug in his yard. I kill weeds and unwanted grasses with hot water and vinegar. Works like a charm.

Education shouldn’t stop when you get out of high school. Although college was not an option for me for many reasons, I believe in continued self-education. Books are too easy to come by and all of you are there to explain if I don’t understand something on my own. Learning is the most important thing in my life. I always said if I don’t learn something new each day, just close the lid because I must be dead.

Life is good and I have nothing to whine about except that I have no one to drink a glass of wine with. My son doesn’t drink and I refuse to drink alone. Where did he come from? He couldn’t have come from this German who had beer in a baby bottle. So I will move on to other subjects more often than not. Writing is at the top of my list right now. I was making up limericks for class at 4:00 in the morning on the notebook that lives in my bed. I didn’t even know what a limerick was till last week. Maybe I’ll even learn to write poetry. Short and to the point poetry.

From my heart to yours,
Marlene