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Posts tagged ‘transforming the day’

In Search of a Date’s New Meaning

We all remember certain days of the year that have meaning for us. Today, October 19th, is one such date for our family. For most of you it’s just another day. Usually, some event will turn it from ordinary to memorable.

Twenty-Three years ago, on this date, my children lost their father. He had one heart attack, no warning, and was gone in an instant at 42 years of age. Our son tried to save him but couldn’t. We were no longer married at the time but still, I cared deeply for him and was angry with him for dying. I know, it’s an odd response. I was angry that he didn’t take care of himself well enough to be there for his kids.

Rick, two days younger than me.

Rick, two days younger than me.

Rick’s death changed us all. Every year, October 19th rolls around and we all get quieter. We reflect on what could have been and the empty space that was left behind. He left two wonderful slightly grown children. His family of origin took it hard too, of course.

We tried really hard.

We tried really hard.

Today, Rick’s younger brother, John is attempting to give this date a slightly different meaning. John is getting re-married today and although we are too far away to attend, our hearts and our love are with him. John is a month younger than my son, his nephew. Yes, those things do happen.

Age 18 months John has the darker hair.

Age 18 months John has the darker hair.

There are many dates on our calendars that are significant for various reasons. Some make us happy, some, not so much. Some dates we have to find a way to redefine. I have a number of dates that rub me a bit raw. Then I try to find ways to celebrate each and every day and moment with each person here or not. I never forget an “I love you” or a hug. Events change us and remind us how precious each moment can be. There is no “later”. Only NOW.

Best wishes to John and Linda as they embark on a new meaning for this day. I hope it brings nothing but happy memories and new ways to define this date.
How many days have you had to give new meaning?

From my heart to yours,
Marlene Herself