Looking for answers to life's questions

I’m letting it all hang out here today. I’m normally an optimistic person but this Covid crap has been pushing my optimism to its last edge. Thank goodness for my monthly therapy appointment. This wonderful woman gets paid a little bit to help me live a full life as I face my mortality. I can’t afford to slide into the well of hopelessness.

It starts out with white blooms and by summers end they are purple.

The first thing I did was bring her a present to make her laugh. It worked. She has the best laugh I’ve ever heard and it makes me so happy to make someone laugh. She got the joke and her laugh filled the near empty building. I ordered this after the TP crisis.

I brought her one roll of this.

After that I unloaded my bag of frustrations.

I’ve been locked away far too long for this extroverted introvert. I love people and there have been so few around during this sheltering in place isolation. I struggled to make myself write, sew, garden or much of anything. Turns out it’s not the best time to be on a rigid diet either.

Book one of this series. I’ve read through book four. I can’t put them down.

I did finish four cozy mysteries in two weeks time.  Doc said many of her clients were feeling the same. I explained that one of my friends had become so lonely she was talking to Alexa on a daily basis. She would ask Alexa questions and wait for answers. Quite the learning experience. I don’t have an Alexa so we came up with other ideas to help me snap out of my funk.

Can anyone tell me what I’m growing here?

First, she had me mask and glove up and head for the bookstore. My daughter freaked out at the idea. I took all possible precautions.  The mall and bookstore echoed hollow. So few were there. Walking it helped anyway. Then it was suggested I write a post about it as so many others were struggling with this as well. Another block overcome.  Though my daughter is living with me, she’s a hermit so I’m still mostly alone.

I have been In Search Of so many things on my blog. Finding people that I can talk to about the bigger picture in life is at the top of my list. Without outside relationships, we can lose inspiration and feedback. I have acquaintances I can talk about some things but not have those deeper more serious conversations.

My daughter finished this. Her philosophy.

Good conversations were hard to find before we were in lockdown, now they are even more difficult. How many people are excited to talk about quantum physics or secular spirituality?

Love in the mist playing with the oregano and thyme.

I have a new 25 year old neighbor renting the place next door from her uncle. She’s still in college to become a practicing behavioral therapist for autistic children. I’ve warned her she will be asked a zillion questions and she’s willing to answer in exchange for gardening tips. It’s a start and I am willing to learn from others while I share over the fence what I’ve learned in life. I keep walking the neighborhood and talking to anyone in hopes of expanding my bubble about life.

My wonky Dogwood bloomed later than all the rest in the neighborhood.

Are you finding intelligent, inspiring conversations while still isolating in place?

From my heart to yours,

Marlene Herself

 

 

Comments on: "ISO Intelligent Conversation" (68)

  1. Is that an Irish (?) moss in your last photo? If so, or if it is something similar, how long does it take to spread?

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    • Thank you for the visit, Joyce. It’s some kind of mossy ground cover and it spreads rapidly from year to year. Sometimes too fast. I have to cut it back and move the pieces somewhere else in the yard. I bought it at our local grocery outlet as a stepable ground cover.

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  2. I’m sorry you’re feeling alone Marlene, this whole thing is getting tiring for sure and isolation isn’t easy, but if there is any positive it means you are staying safe and healthy.

    Your hydrangea photo makes me miss the ones I used to have: a white, a few reddish purple and 2 amazing blue ones that we actually used for the oldest daughters wedding flowers years ago. As to that other green plant…no idea but I hope it’s not going to turn out to be some invasive weed!!

    That TP is hilarious. Wish I would have known about it early on, I would have ordered some as I made an attempt to order from Amazon via China when you couldn’t find any in the stores. That was a bad idea as it never came, but fortunately I did get a refund. Pays to read the reviews for sure as everyone was having the same issue.

    You have so many people who enjoy hearing from you, write more here if you can, even if it’s just a quick check in. While it’s not the same as face to face, or the appropriate 6 ft social distance, at least you know we will write back.

    Take care.

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    • Thanks for the visit, Deb. I noticed that so many of my favorite bloggers had stopped writing too so I was getting lonely here too. When you stay home everyday, there is little to write about. As for the TP, I love this company. They started in the EU and have a branch here also. They kept me informed about how soon my product would arrive and I loved their principles. Not expensive either for what you get.
      As for the plant, I’m hoping it’s a potato I stuck in the ground. Don’t know how to find out other than to dig it out. Maybe later.
      Thanks for

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  3. The isolation must be so painful for you and I can hear that it is wearing you down. Great strategies to overcome it, visiting the bookstore, therapists and walks in the neighbourhood. Is there virtual chat rooms where you can discuss secular spirituality?
    Like your daughter, I wasn’t too affected by having to stay home, but loads around me are, plus things are really great in our state as we have almost zero community transmission and people are being sensible washing hands and social distancing. It is great because I might actually be able to escape the flu this winter.
    That plant – looks like it could be an African Tulip tree? They do self sow here and are declared a weed, probably as a result of the council handing them out free to plant in the garden for about a decade, but I am not sure of American flora. Have a look at this: https://weeds.brisbane.qld.gov.au/weeds/african-tulip-tree
    I love the coffee machine mat. Despite sounding a bit starved of external conversation, you are being productive.

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    • Thanks for the tip on the plant. I looked at the link and will watch the plant. I have to keep pulling the coffee maker out from under the cabinet so the mat makes it slide easier.
      My daughter could live her whole life without talking to people. I find them fascinating and love exchanging ideas and information. I’ll never be an island. I started seeing this wonderful lady when I got my diagnosis and once a month we visit and make sure I’m staying optimistic. This was the first time I was struggling with that. She got me blogging again as I had decided to give it up. I need to reach out even though so many have stopped blogging too. I think isolation is hard on most humans. I can do it for a good length of time then I need to fill up again. When you don’t have a life, there is nothing to write about.

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      • You feel you have nothing to write about, and yet you write such interesting posts, Marlene. Everyday life is interesting when you write about how you tackled thingsand overcame challenging situations. If yo get stuck there is always photgraphy to play around with. Or your past life to write or recall? It does seem that a few have given up blogging but is that usual during summer, or because of the lockdown?
        My kids are pretty hermetic too – is that even a word?

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      • Ha Ha! I love made up words the best. Hermetic. 😉 I do a lot of photograph and spend a lot of time editing all my photos on my posts. Photography helps me really SEE things.

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      • Photography is fun. Maybe you might join in on one of my Friendly Friday photo challenges. I sm hosting again next Friday

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  4. I’m having quite long conversations with the dog. Bit short on answers, but his face can be quite expressive… Also, now that the library is open again, I can visit by appointment, and I do have long, lovely convos with Sally the librarian, with whom I share some tastes in books. I do find books a way to alleviate loneliness and boredom, and have enjoyed revisiting series I haven’t read for ages, and remembering why I loved them. Of course, I always have the sewing – speaking of which, aren’t mats under the coffee machine a game changer? So much easier to move them about, catch the drips and generally brighten up Coffee Corner 🙂

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    • Thanks so much for the coffee mat inspiration, Kate. I forgot to mention that I got the idea from you. My mind has been a sieve lately. I couldn’t believe I read so many books in such a short period of time. This lady writes a hilarious and well thought out mystery. I figured they would start to lag as the series went on but she keeps pulling it together. I have projects in the sewing room and gardening to do but couldn’t make myself move. Finally getting moving again. I wish I had a mouse but it’s not a feasible solution.

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      • I wasn’t looking for a credit there, I’m just glad you’ve got one too! Even the Husband thinks it’s a great idea… I’ve finally managed to get my backside in gear and start hand-stitching the anemone quilt facing again, so I feel your inertia!

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      • Glad you past the inertia too. I’d hit that wall and just couldn’t move! I think I’ll make it now. You give me so many good ideas. Thanks for that.

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  5. I feel you, Marlene. I would LOVE some good conversation. I guess I’m not quite the hermit I thought I was. Some days it’s really hard to keep the chin up, so to speak. I guess it’s not helping that it is fast approaching the first anniversary of my husband’s death (august 17th). But….oh to have a really intense conversation about….well, anything! Anytime you feel the need for some deep conversation, send me an email! I will happily converse with you about anything! ❤

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    • Thanks so much, Jackie!! I really need that. When all of you quite blogging, it’s been feeling a little like a parched desert here. I was going to give it up too but Doc said it was important to reach out to others who are feeling this way. Helping them helps me. I’ve been reaching out but coming up empty. I’ll send you a note soon.

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  6. My hydrangea’s are way behind yours; your’s are truly lovely. And, the mystery plant is going to stay a mystery; I came up with about five maybe’s and decided that none of them fit. I have a few I’m my garden like that too because I am lazy at mapping or labeling my plant beds. then along comes winter and I forget until the darned thing flowers.
    Here in Mass our lockdown has eased, but my son and daughter in law are still in strict lockdown. My wife, who is the center of my life ( not the person in my Adventures in Coastal Living stories) is getting cranky, and she is the mildest person I’ve ever known – she puts up with me.
    I think we may all wind up taking monastic vows if this continues. One cell monasteries or nunneries.

    By the way, I love your posts. They are thoughtful, down to earth and very interesting. I’m not alone in hoping that you might consider writing more. You have a way with observation and description that keeps people reading.
    Best wishes!
    Lou

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    • Thanks so much for your kind words, Lou. Yes, too much togetherness can really test a relationship. All was well when my daughter WENT to work 5 days a week. Even though she is in her room all day, I try to stay quiet so she can handle phone calls and conference calls. It tests my nerves a bit. This 24/7 was never really my thing. I love her with all my heart but goodness, there is such a thing as too much of someone. 🙂 The hydrangeas were here when I moved in. This big one gets the most sun and is huge no matter how much I cut it back. I give it a lot of coffee grounds during the summer and the flowers turn purple then. Thanks for stopping by.

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  7. Goodness, Marlene, it’s good to read you again. I have been a bit spotty on the blog as well, mostly because I just can’t get to it on a regular basis at the moment. Still, I know what your’e talking about, even though I don’t crave company. I’ve been thinking how good it would be to hug someone! That’s a way off so far, though things are easing where I am. I’ve done some socially distanced happy hours in the courtyard with neighbors and some other visits to people’s outdoor patios or porches. I do a lot of zoom and face time. My co-workers, who I’m in video meetings with regularly are pretty good conversationalists, so I get some every day I’m working. It sounds like you could write about your walks or even the young neighbor or the garden–and if you’re successful with conversations, who knows what else you could come up with. That toilet paper is a hoot. I’m looking into the company. And I’m looking into those mysteries too. I’m in need of something like that at the moment. So thanks for the tips! I can’t help you with that plant, but I’m pretty sure it isn’t a potato.

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    • Thanks for joining the conversation, and I appreciate the kind words. This neighborhood is mostly people that don’t socialize with one another. Disappointing for me. My daughter does the online thing for work and is talking to people all day. I was doing quite a bit in the beginning but all of a sudden, I hit a wall and couldn’t go forward. I guess not blogging isn’t going to be an option for me. I will be doing a patio sewing circle for the first time since March next week with only 4 of us and I’m looking forward to it.
      The toilet paper is made of recycled paper but is adequately soft enough. I was impressed with the company. The mysteries, I can’t say enough about. I’ve posted reviews because they are the best I’ve read in a long time. They are quick reads since you can’t stop. 😉 Not a potato? Oh well. 😉 Keep staying safe. Me too.

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  8. Sorry to hear Marlene. Glad you have such a good person in your life

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  9. I am impressed and envious of your hydrangea and dogwood. We don’t have dogwoods in South Africa (as far as I am aware) but hydrangeas aplenty. As it happens, hydrangeas are one of a small number of plants who do not like me, and however many new ones I buy, and however carefully I choose a suitable place for them, they die within days. I have tried in different gardens over the years, and even settled for one in a large pot a few months ago, thinking the pot would make the difference and break the curse. It did not. The beautiful, healthy plant rotted, withered and died within two weeks. I now accept my lack of luck with them, and concentrate on other plants which seem more than happy to live with me in the garden or on the patio. Hydrangeas really hurt my inner gardener!

    Lockdown has been quite horrendous. In South Africa, libraries, cinemas, theatres, markets, restaurants, etc are still closed. Many privately-owned businesses will never reopen because they have lost too much income. For the first few weeks, I lost all desire to do anything creative, but that has slowly come back and there have been some very positive developments on the work front, which has helped me restore my self-confidence (and slightly alleviate my financial anxieties). I am grateful every day for so many things, and I have tried to empathise with others who are not as fortunate. I speak to my mother more often than usual (she is 83 and lives on her own, quite far from me), and I keep contact with friends through facebook, email and telephone.

    You have so many talents and, as your friend Lou said above, “You have a way with observation and description that keeps people reading.” Don’t give up on the writing, my friend. Lots of love to you xxx Jill

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    • Thank you so much for your kind words, Jill. These hydrangeas were here when I move in. I thought they were shade loving but these like full sun and crap soil plus lots of coffee grounds. I killed my share of them before as well. They also don’t like a lot of water.
      I’m glad you are having some success in the economic area for yourself. So many businesses have failed here and it’s just sad.
      I think we are all going through waves of despair that balances out with a bit of optimism. Sometimes we hit a wall when weather and other circumstances gang up on us. Fortunately, my wise therapist was up to the challenge. She had never seen me so down and insisted I start writing again. I think most of us withdraw when things get tough. That never helps. Change of scenery helped too. 😉 Onward. Keeping good thoughts for you. Thanks for the visit. It helps.

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  10. Good to hear from you today, Marlene. Yes, this virus challenge is certainly wearing, isn’t it? My daily chats with family members on the phone are intelligent and inspiring, but we often share our frustrations as well, of course. My writing and book groups have all moved online, which keeps us going but isn’t nearly as fulfilling.

    In general, I suppose the trick is finding things to look forward to and plan for, and it sounds like your counselor urges you to do that. We should probably all have a counselor. I hope the counselors have counselors:)

    Your photos are lovely, and growing beautiful things can be such a pleasant diversion. My little balcony garden has helped me a lot, along with my daily walks. Take care and be well!

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    • Thanks for stopping by, Becky. My circle is way too small and most of the people I know are well established in groups of intimate friends already. I’ve just moved way too often. I have a crazy sister here that I talk to and a son that calls every day so I can tell him I’m doing just grand. My daughter is the one I can have the best conversations with when she feels like she can people a little more after 8 hours of work. 🙂 Being a little outside conventional thought realms makes it harder for me at my age to find conversational peers. I’m always up for a challenge but gee whiz, this shelter in place is making it really hard. I have plenty of diversions, no writing groups though I did try many. I wonder where they are all hiding in my town? I think counselors do have counselors. 🙂 I make it a point to make mine laugh a lot. She has a tough job. I’m hoping the college girl next door will add some interest to my pot of knowledge. 😉 I do love to pick brains. Take care of yourself too. They are finally wising up out there.

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      • Yes, I know how moving often can make it difficult to find and keep friends. I was married for many years, and that provided most of my conversation. Everything is different now, and this darn virus has gotten worse, again, here in Texas. Now they’re closing things down, again, which I sure hope will help!

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  11. I rely on bloggers for intelligent conversation since my husband is ten (he likes action movies and playing video games). And yes, this time of isolation and out of control infection takes its toll. I vacillate between hopeful and despairing, just trying to stay in the moment. Thanks for sharing your projects, your garden, your TP, and your thoughts. Be well.

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  12. Hi ya Vonderfrau! Look at all the gorgeousness in your garden! Beautiful! That Pacific NW climate is a dream for gardeners. After venturing near the well of covid hopelessness, I hope you found your way around it and skipped on outta there !! If not skipped, then moved along with conviction. I’m sorry for your blues. It’d be really tricky to live alone! Glad at least your daughter’s nearby, even if she’s a hermit.
    We’re still at home too. Even though a few of our friends are doing social get togethers, we’ve not taken them up on any invites. Our covid levels I think are far lower than some places in the states, but with things opening up, we are extra carefell. I’m OK with that though. I love being at home. Jim’s away for 4 days and I may just go for grocery and that’s about it.
    Hang in there! Happy thoughts xK

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    • We had 51 new cases just this weekend. There is a lot of stupid around here which is why I stay so close to home. My daughter comes out of her room to make her meals, I clean up after her and we sit and do a little handwork together after her workday is done. Some days, if it’s not too warm in the late afternoon, we walk to the mailbox together and maybe see a neighbor out. She’s been living with me for a 1 1/2 year so far. It’s going amazingly well even when she started working from home. After dealing with work all day she gets peopled out even though they aren’t physically here. 😉 I’m way too social for her liking. She worries about me too much. I’m very careful during my meager outings. You keep staying safe so you can keep making pretty things.

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  13. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been struggling with the isolation, Marlene. It is difficult, but I do think pushing ourselves to continue doing the things that make us happy is really important. You have so many talents, I hope you’ll continue creating things that brighten other people’s world, as well as your own. I’ve been writing a lot during this quarantine. Unfortunately, I’ve blown out my wrist as a result, so now I’m dictating. I did laugh reading your comment about your daughter being a hermit. 🙂 I enjoyed all of your gorgeous photos. The hydrangea is a masterpiece! Take care of yourself! ❤

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    • Thanks so much for stopping by, Jill. I do like a lot of quiet time to myself but I need balance. Left to my own devices, I can get stale. Others help stimulate ideas as do fresh locations. I am continuing to be as creative as possible. After my nap. 😉 Be gentle with those wrists. I hear many have that same issue. My hands start to hurt after too long at hand embroidery or holding a book. 😦 How can that be?? The hydrangea is over the power lines and I think it likes it there. 😉 It came with the house and I managed not to kill it. Looking forward to reading your new book.

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  14. I love, LOVE your post. It’s actually very inspiring. Your flowers are gorgeous. Your constant need for learning is so positive. Your thirst for conversation… I could go on. I read the post twice. I’ve become less wary of going out, as long as I wear a mask and stay six feet away. Going to a bookstore sounds like a dream vacation!

    I still feel a little blue after distance learning at school since March. I’m over-worried about teachers being required to wear masks in September. How can I teach when children can’t see my face and the all-important social and emotional cues? How will I read aloud?

    So, your post brings me joy, Marlene, and reminds me not to worry about things over which I have no control. Stop and smell the roses, Jennie. Best to you, Marlene.

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    • Thank you so VERY much for your kind words, Jennie. I went to the bookstore at opening time. 10:30 a.m. and it was all but empty so I had no worries. We were all wearing masks. Most of the cases are coming from pockets of people who are not practicing any form of protection and are collecting in large groups. My DIL is up and running and all seems to be going well. Each person is checked on entry for temp or signs of illness. Most of the cases in their state are coming from the reservations. I’m not sure why that is. I think they are infecting each other. By Sept, lets hope things get better. My son will be out to see me then, finally. Keep the image of you doing what you do best in your mind and do not visualize anything you do not want to see happen. Thoughts are powerful. That’s how I stay out of the crazy fray. You will be reading and hugging those kids again real soon. I’ll keep good thoughts for you too. Hugs.

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      • Yes, these crazy people who congregate in large groups with zero protection are the big problem. It will be good to have your son visit. Having something to look forward to is a good thing and keeps the positivity flowing. I like your advice, Marlene. If I keep that image of doing what I do, and all the great moments with children, that is a powerful thing. Good thoughts can only breed more good thoughts. Thank you for that! Sending you virtual hugs! 🥰

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  15. Hi Marlene! I love the TP that you found. Such clever sayings.

    Yes, the shelter-in-place is taking its toll on all of us. I’m back to work, but even there it is somewhat quiet. I’ve been trying to be more intentional about checking on people, and choosing phone calls over texts. It’s nice to hear actual voices.

    We’re slowly meeting up with just a couple of friends. In fact, last week I had coffee with a friend. It was so nice to meet up and share. Still, I’m very cautious and wanting to be smart with my interactions.

    Your garden looks like it’s thriving! Mine is actually doing quite well. I need to pick lettuce and kale and the first blossoms are showing up on the zucchini. Take care, my friend!

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    • Thanks for stopping by, Missy So many have stopped communicating altogether. Makes me a bit sad. I’ll be working on my garden a bit more this week but growing no veggies. Slugs ate everything I planted. Grrr. 😦 Something got the strawberries before I did too. My daughter will be working from home at least through August and maybe indefinitely. Seems to be working well for her company. I have not had a chance to meet with anyone yet. I might lose it one day real soon. 😉 Keep being careful. I don’t know if it’s ever going to get managed.

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  16. Lovely to see this post from you Marlene… And intelligent conversation of our particular kind can be hard to track down especially in the local neighbourhood…. I have far more success online..
    But I have found myself withdrawing even from this beautiful community of late… Absorbing myself in my own creative pursuits,as you have seen with my painting…
    And of course the garden and allotment plot… A post well overdue on my Garden blog.. My last update was about May blooms..
    My lowest Ebb was today…. I got up and whether it was the energies or not, I allowed the tears to fall.. And after breakfast, prepping dinner for this evening.. I took myself off back to bed. And slept until this afternoon…
    I woke up feeling much brighter and a clearer vision and focus.. So much so, I jotted down some thoughts, as I needed to shake myself out of this energy drain….

    Love your daughters embroidery Marlene, and message…. I am hoping that silent majority of light and goodness will wake up those still swamped in deep shadow.

    As to your plant with no name… The leaves look very familiar and I even showed it hubby, but while it looks like something we both should know, We have no name for it..

    Your Hydrangea is a little like ours on our front garden… At the moment the buds are so tight, but when the do come they are blue, and turn then to bluish pink.. I love these shrubs and hubby has propagated many over the years, which now have many new homes with neighbours and family and friends..

    Libraries are set to open back up here on the 6th July along with hairdressers and some other eating places, pubs etc… But goodness knows how the two metre distance rules get to work there????

    Good therapists are hard to come by Marlene, and so pleased you brought her laughter.. my beautiful Acupuncturist rang me up to say this lockdown had made her make her mind up to retire… I shall miss my regular monthly treatments… and our lovely deep conversations… But I began again my Qi Gong practice while in lockdown, and have so far, ( fingers crossed ) managed pretty well with pain levels while not having regular treatments.. So Mind over Matter on this … And hope to stay on top of it… 🙂

    Loved your plants and your thoughts Marlene…. Any time you want a deeper chat my dear friend, you know where I am… Sending Lots of Love and continued blessings..
    Mega Hugs across the ocean..
    Sue ❤ ❤ ❤

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  17. Having Lancelot living with me helps a lot, but he’s even more of an introvert than I am, and with opposite work schedules it is tricky. And I’ve been having trouble staying focused and motivated enough to get much done. I guess having the artificial “confines” of working still is helping. I see my therapist every other week through Zoom. I’ve been getting myself inexpensive bouquets of cut flowers at the grocery store and that seems to help a little. We also do take out one night a week so that I get a break from cooking. But there’s no way around it, this nonsense is hard. Hang in there, friend. ❤

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    • A pandemic is quite the ringer to throw in when you first get married. Opposite schedules can’t help…or can it? At least you are doing good things to keep your moral up in the face of all of this. Keep it up. My sister is going through final testing to try and get on the transplant list so she has had to spend a couple nights here. They do a covid test first before each procedure. Hope the do it soon though. She has a therapist too that she sees more often than I do. Life keeps throwing curves and we just have to get better at handling them. If you guys can survive this, you can handle anything. 😉 Hugs.

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  18. I’d be happy to chat if you feel like 🙂
    I wonder what’s the time difference between your location and mine (London, UK)?
    Hugs, or as a dear friend of mine says: PLS (peace, love and salutations)

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  19. Awww, Marlene. I wish I could talk with you over your fence. I’d bring my homemade brownies, too, because sometimes chocolate and sweets are just plain necessities when the soul is low. I have been so busy with writing, with reading my students’ online stories, with working on a new book of my short stories, with walking and yoga, and yet, still, sometimes my thoughts wander to “when will this all be over?” I wake up by 5:30 every morning and sit out on our front porch with a cup of hot tea and just watch the birds and squirrels and chipmunks and deer and wild turkeys and this soothes in an inexplainable way. Also, I’ve been reading Eckhart Tolle’s The Power of Now and The New Earth and find that his spiritual philosophies are in harmony with mine, and the reminders of the depth of us – of our souls – really help. I’m sending you LOTS and lots of love.

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    • I wish you were next door too. I would bake you the brownies to have the conversations. It has been so very chilly in the early mornings when I wake up too. 5-5:30. It was 55 this morning. I have well worn copies of all of Tolle’s books. I have a feeling you might find some of your other books on my shelves. The spiritual philosophies are what I’m “in search of” That’s what led to the study of quantum physics. 😉 Most roll their eyes at the mention of that kind of thing. 😉

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      • I love this – that we read similar “spiritual’ books and philosophies. A close friend who lives in CA (she was my co-author in one of my books) has a Ph.D. in Jungian psychology and has studied many spiritual practices. She just recommended that I read the new book called BREATH: The New Science of a Lost Art. I’m looking into it!

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      • I’m looking into now too!!! Thanks for sharing the information. I wish I hadn’t canceled my Audible account now. As a person struggling for breath and occasionally (often) forgetting to breathe, I really need this book. I’ll probably order it on Kindle. I really don’t have room for more hardcopy books. ;(

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  20. I’m in catch up mode on blog reading. Sorry you found Lockdown tough- my Mum needed to talk to people she would have loathed Lockdiwn- she hated August because all her groups stopped for the Summer. I don’t need to talk to people, and was so busy not moving house Ionly noticed lockdown from queues and bad customer service. Glad you therapist gave you some great ideas.

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    • Thanks for stopping by, Cathy. I’ve always been a social person so I really need to be around others for a short time. Then I need lots of alone time. 🙂 Quite the conflict there. I usually come up with ideas on my own but I had hit a wall and my therapist has known me long enough to know what I was missing. Have a wonderful and relaxing week ahead.

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  21. I echo what others have said, my friend, in how your posts are always a boost to my day. You have a genuine and inspiring perspective on life, and an incorrigible optimism, even while you are confessing your struggles. Your body is truly a vessel for the light within, and you keep putting it out there for us. Thank you.

    I love the coffee mat, and what a great idea for helping to slide it back and forth when you need it, or need to put it away. Adds some colour and character too. I am pleased to see your pretty, wonky dogwood. Fun that it bloomed late and brought colour to your home when the other dogwoods were done. The ground cover that you shared with me last year is happily spreading across my front garden too, and it always makes me think of you.

    You have noticed that others have stopped blogging, and now that you mention it, I recall that I’ve seen posts drop off too. I’ve only been thinking of myself, and that I’ve nearly stopped posting and reading. It’s true that I do less and have less to say, but also I just lost my motivation. That must be affecting others as well. I’m glad your therapist encouraged you to write. There have been times when I felt lonely and my online people reminded me that they are my community and I’m still a part of it. I hope you are getting that from the comments here on your post. We love you so much. Well, I speak for myself at least. ❤ Your post (and recent comment) has reminded me to add in self-care. I am lucky to have the good health and remote location to be able to go for hikes and walks. That's one thing that heals me.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I walk 6 mornings a week just around here, Crystal. For me, one hill is a hike. I’m still without AC for now and not sure when I’ll have it again.
      I was going to give up blogging completely but every time I start to give it up, someone leaves a comment like yours about my writing and I feel compelled to keep going. Even my therapist knew I needed to write. 😉 It’s like breathing for me.
      The coffee mat was inspired by Kate @ talltalesfromchiconia.wordpress.com. I copied her idea. She is very generous with her inspiration. You are correct in adding self care to your list. Keep doing it. Nature is the best thing for PTSD. Proven.

      Liked by 1 person

      • I like how you said Kate is generous with her inspiration! Ugh, no AC? That sounds horrendous. I know the warm days are really hard on you. I thought I recalled that you had AC. Did the unit stop working?

        Liked by 1 person

      • They came Wed the 8th to see why it stopped working and ordered a part. I’m still waiting for them to call and say the part is in and then schedule a repair visit. They don’t care that I will be a puddle on the floor when it’s 92 here. There will be a definite lack of movement around here until the AC is working again. Took the guy 3 hours to track down the short in the system. I was hoping for a new unit. It’s only 15 years old, minimum.

        Liked by 1 person

      • oh jeez. It does need to be replaced.

        Liked by 1 person

  22. I think you can feel pretty darn good about yourself today for how you made me feel about the whole Toby mess! I hope that is a little bit of light for you because you’ve helped someone else! I hear you on the conversations. I am starting to not want to be around other people because it feels like too much effort and because I don’t feel sociable enough to carry on a conversation! Isn’t that awful? I think I am going to have to start to do a few things differently or the cure if going to be worse than the disease, if you know what I mean. I love that you and your 25 year old neighbor will be sharing knowledge!!!!
    That TP is great. I like the idea of making myself laugh with someone else every time I give somebody a roll.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad I could help, Luanne. I’m turning into a hermit too. I don’t have the energy for anyone or anything these days and mostly because it’s soooo hot. I love the TP company more than the TP but gifting it is going to be great fun. Helps you find out who has a sense of humor. 😉 Hang in there.

      Liked by 1 person

      • LOL, and that is a good thing to know: who has a sense of humor! Yes, too hot. My daughter and her fiance are supposed to come over this weekend for my birthday (early), and I can’t even get interested. It’s so hot and I feel like hiding in the bedroom. I gotta slap myself out of that!

        Liked by 1 person

  23. That toilet paper and the company behind is brilliant and truly hilarious – exactly what we all need right now! 😀 Who would have thought that TP would become a good gift one day? 😄
    I’m so very sorry to hear that you’re struggling with the isolation, Marlene. When this all started I noticed how people, me included, were starved for conversation with anyone really, be it the guy at the post office or the friendly cashier at the supermarket. Now where Germany has come out of almost all restrictions again this seems to have stopped. Same old, same old, I guess.
    I totally get the feeling of wanting to stop to blogging but your therapist’s right: you should keep reaching out! Even if you have the feeling that you don’t have much to say I can assure you that’s not true! I always love reading your posts and learning about your different projects or just admire your lovely flowers and garden. I think I have been struggling with keeping my blog alive for two years now. 😂 But every time I want to quit I remind myself of the wonderful people I have met here, and you’re one of them dear friend! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    • Glad to hear I’m not alone in this, Sarah. So many blogs I followed have ceased to exist. Many added so much to our days here. I keep thinking of going back to Germany when the get to where we can visit again. I’ll be here through the elections anyway to make sure we don’t get a repeat of what we have now. The inmates are running the asylum here. I’ve been busy with so many projects and need to get photos of what I’ve finished so I can post on them. My daughter said if I didn’t always have something to do, my head would explode. 😉 Stay cool and keep well.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Lots of blogs I’ve followed have also ceased to exist, Marlene.
        Yep – inmates running the asylum is a very apt description! I keep my fingers crossed that people see sense and vote for change!! Stay well!

        Liked by 1 person

  24. Thank you for sharing how you are Marlene. It isn’t an easy time for so many. I’m glad you have a good therapist! I’ve been “on retreat” and have taken some interesting online courses over the last few weeks. The latest one on writing has inspired me to come back to Blogging and connecting. I realize how much I miss the connections and interesting conversations … along with the everyday❣️
    Keep hanging in there. Sending a virtual hug your way 🥰

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for stopping by, Val. I’ll have to hunt you down again if you’ve started blogging once more. I keep planning to give it up but even my therapist agrees I need to keep at it even if it’s less often. Summers are filled with outside chores so time is spent more outside. I think about writing courses online but never take one. ;( I hope your retreat was rejuvenating. I’m not much on slowing down. Racing the clock to get it all done before I run out of time and energy. Thanks for the virtual hug and sending one back at you.

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