Looking for answers to life's questions

I’m facing another different Christmas. So many here in my apartment building for 55 and over have limited access to family and this is the time of year where it’s most noticeable. I’ve witnessed so many pull from the depth of themselves to be creative in their ways of celebrating this holiday. Many can speak of enduring traditions that have survived generations, when all of a sudden there are divorces, deaths, illnesses and other adjustments to life and the holidays in particular.

My birdhouse dangling is our snowy courtyard

Adjustment is also a form of creativity. How well we adjust to the size and style of our homes, family, country or condition says a lot about how creative we are. The kind of gifts we give or want is also a completely creative thought. “I need nothing this year” I said to my son. That I have Christmas this year is the gift itself.

I’ve put up a tiny 4’ tree on my cutting table with tiny ornaments gifted to me by a neighbor since I had already given all of mine away. It’s like a giant shuffle of stuff. My kids put up a few lights around my courtyard porch with paperclips to be gentle with the siding.

I helped decorate one of the entry lobby trees putting one of my many Angels on top. I’m so glad someone invented LED lights so I can leave mine on all the time. On occasion, the elf in me slips out the door when no one is about and makes changes to the trees. Wrapped empty packages appear along with new decorations.

I love seeing how others decorate and adjust to their space and lifestyle. Many are in poor health so they can do almost nothing to decorate their own space, so the manager decorates the halls with what has been collected over the years. Some, like me, decorate our entry areas. I photographed as many as I found done in the halls.

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Christmas means different things to different people. Some choose not to celebrate in any way. I think of it as a time to celebrate life. When I bake or make gifts, I’m celebrating all of life’s joys. I want to gift a little joy and lightness of being in the ever-changing world that requires adaptability at every turn.

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I’m going to be unlocking the outside perimeter doors to our buildings and plugging in the two lobby trees as I go each morning at 6:00 a.m. I volunteered since I’m always up anyway and the person that had been doing it quit. I’m going to sneak a bag of candy into Everett’s candy bucket on my way. He had mentioned at the Saturday morning coffee last week that he didn’t have so much as a Charlie Brown tree in his house. Becky, our “manager” said she could fix that, taking off for a few minutes. When she returned and presented him with this fun decoration, we all had a good laugh.

Everett’s Charlie Brown tree

Another wife is way down on his bucket list

Another neighbor, Vicki leaves her tree up all year. There is nowhere here to store anything. It’s a full-sized tree taking up a great deal of space in her tiny living room but the lights make her happy all year. She has found so many ways to be creative and we convinced her to put much outside her door for us to enjoy during the holidays. I would leave mine up but I need the cutting table for quilting.

Vicki loves cross stitching santas

Liz made this from her jewelry collection

Vicki’s cross stitch on paper

Have you had to adjust your creative habits and holiday traditions?

 “Creativity requires courage to let go of certainty.” ~ Erich Fromm

From my heart to yours,

Marlene Herself

Comments on: "Creative Adjusting" (70)

  1. I love this, adjustment really is a form of creativity

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Everything looks welcoming and full of the Christmas Spirit, Marlene. Hope you have a wonderful holiday!

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  3. Your post brought Christmas cheer in abundance! I love your creativity.

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  4. Heartwarming to see that many in your community like to add their personal stamp on the holiday and that everyone is willing to help those who can’t have some cheer as well.

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    • I think that’s what I like about living here, Deb. We can pass stuff around and help each other. There are some that just have no ability left in them but the rest of us do our best. Merry little Christmas to you too. Every year is a little different so I’m always trying to adjust my expectations. Stay warm and cozy.

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  5. Marlene, I always love seeing your creativity at work (play)! Beautiful pix. I understand how hard it must be for some, and it’s a happy perspective you’ve given me about creativity. So this is a tangent, but one of the cats I have gotten from my son has terrible anxiety. I only figured out today he can’t stand having his routines broken at all. He goes and pees on the bed when anything happens to upset his day. He clearly has no creativity!!!! Merry Christmas if I don’t “see” you before then, Marlene! XO

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    • We are all creatures of habit (routine), Luanne. None of us like our routines unsettled. It’s especially hard as we age and our mind is no longer connecting all the dots .Sounds like cats may have the same issue. Thanks for the visit and Merry Christmas to you and you fuzzy family too.

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  6. It’s very sweet to see how everyone uses what they have to celebrate Christmas. ❤️ Being on our travel trailer means we have a tiny tree. It’s about 2’ tall, with a felt garland. I have a small nativity, a reindeer and a couple of Santa gnomes. Still, it’s very cheerful. 🎄 Have a wonderful season, Marlene!

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  7. I sure enjoyed all the door decorations. For me, I’m afraid I’m not doing anything. Well, I haven’t yet. It might change. 😉 I love the cross-stitch Santas! So cute, well it’s all really cute. Hope you have a wonderful Christmas, my friend. With love and hugs.

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    • It’s the lights that do it for me and now that they make LED’s it’s the part I leave on the most. The young woman who did all the cross stitch, broke her back years ago and couldn’t work anymore but she was not showing anyone her beautiful work. I can’t see to do that and it’s time consuming. There are years of work in them. Christmas must be just another day in the year for you. It hurts my heart a little to know that. Life is best when shared. I’m counting my blessings today as I go up to coffee and donuts upstairs at 9 a.m. We gather to chat for an hour them back to real life but we learn so much from each other. I was so fortunate the kids found this for me. Some folks here have their pets which helps so much. I’ll post an update when the holiday is behind me. Thanks for the visit. I miss you. Merry Christmas, Jackie.

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  8. Well it all looks wonderfully festive Marlene. I’ve only just finished my tree tonight. It stood naked for a week and a half (LOL, I just corrected that. It said ‘I just stood naked for a week’ 😁 Good grief, ha!
    How nice to have such great neighbours. I hope when I get there, I have good neighbours too.
    One year, at my MIL’s Christmas celebration, we were following a very tall elderly lady and I started chatting with her. I thought it was unusual she was so tall. Anywho, I asked her name and thought she said Echo. Again, tall, elderly and a named Echo. Very cool right? I said, “that’s the prettiest name I’ve ever heard”. She was so happy and smiled as we parted. I later found out it was actually Ethel not Echo. The just of my long tale is, sometimes the best gifts aren’t wrapped, it’s just some attention to someone lonely.
    Have a beautiful Christmas Marlene-a-go-go ! 💗K

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    • Thank you for making me giggle so early in the morning. Just getting ready to go unlock the outside doors and then get a little work done before coffee hour upstairs. Places like this are what you make of them. I’m enjoying the camaraderie. You have definitely figured out the real meaning of Christmas. I think it should be Christmas all year long. I might have my tree decorated by then too. 🙂 I’ve only done the part I could see. Slowing down a lot. Merry Christmas, sweet Kelly.

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  9. Aspen Liggett said:

    That cheered me up. We sure appreciate Xmas and have many learned from the best. Mom!
    You really are an 😇.
    I love you so much.
    Your sister.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m glad to hear it cheered you, Aspen. That is always my intent. Every day is a choice to be happy or miserable. Minute by minute, I choose to be happy with what is right here now. Adjusting all the way. It’s not the presents, it’s the presence. These people here are teaching me so much about adjusting to what is in front of us. Love and hugs, M

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  10. Yes! You are noticing that our individual creativity is truly a saving grace. I know this, but never understood it so clearly until I just read your post. I remember having a traumatic surgery and just going away in my mind in the hospital to a much better place. It was the first time I fully realized I had these inner creative resources I underestimated. You have Heaven in your creative mind Marlene. Merry Christmas. I hope we spend another year together👼🌟🦌🔔🎄

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    • Thank you so much for all your kind words, Cindy. That creative place in us needs us to let it do it’s job and not block it by our misery. A traumatic surgery sounds like a good time to go inside and find a creative sanctuary. That’s where it really resides. I’m hoping for another year too, Cindy. Still lots I want to do yet. Have a very Merry Christmas too. Hugs.

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  11. I love the way you’ve all got different things you do and have adapted to your spaces. The common spaces look really nice, too and I like that everyone is helping and exchanging and figuring out new ways to decorate. I have a small tree every year and pieces I bring out or leave in storage depending on how much I want on display. I also have candles after the time change. It’s nice to snug in with firelight. Merry Christmas, Marlene!

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    • I like a small Christmas. Less work now and later. I’ve adjusted so many times and see that lack of ability to adapting to something different only brings heartache. I have battery powered candles with a remote in case we lose power. 🙂 No real ones in here with the oxygen. Fireplace is on the television with Christmas music playing quietly. We all have to keep adapting to the changes in our lives but that keeps us creative. Have a very Merry Christmas too, Lisa.

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  12. Adapting to changes in life are easier for some than others. I love how you and your neighbors express their creativity, Marlene. Everything looks so festive! Your home looks particularly inviting and cozy. With my mother’s Alzheimer’s advancing, we’ve had to adjust our traditional celebrations, but being together is what’s most important. Merry Christmas, Marlene! xo

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    • You have a lot on your plate this year with your mom. That’s a lot of adapting and adjusting as well as heartbreak. But the decorations are not the important part of Christmas. You have it in proper order. It’s who you spend that time with. I’ll keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Merry Christmas, Jill.

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  13. Love seeing and reading about your Christmas decorations, Marlene! Since moving into an apartment, I have a MUCH smaller tree and sometimes don’t put it up at all, just relying on my other decorations here and there. I have some white fairy lights that I keep up year ’round on my plant stand and on a Hoosier cabinet.

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    • I like having the decorations in the hall since there is no space left in this apartment for anything. I may not put the tree up again in here either. It’s still only half decorated and then I have to take it down again. I like the sound of the plant stand on the Hoosier with fairy lights. Love to see a photo of that. Have a Merry Christmas, Becky and thanks for the visit.

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  14. So . many . adaptations, over the course of my life. This year, I made a decision. My Christmas decorations are 99% lights. There’s a couple of stars, a basket of glass balls with a string of lights through them, the scrappy half-wreath I just made, and my Nativity. It feels totally festive enough, especially in this hot climate where greenery and fake snow are just silly. I love your love of Christmas and all the details, it’s such fun to watch. I hope you have a marvellous celebration; you have such a big and loving heart, you deserve all the joy in the world.

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    • Thank you so much for those kind words, Kate. I have always loved Christmas even the years we had almost nothing for Christmas. I watched as neighbors reached out to our poor military family with such love that it made me a believer in the season. Here, we are all trying to help one another. My decorations are just what is most cherished or what was gifted. So simple and easy. I’ve had a tropical Christmas and we made the best of that one too. In Taiwan, 1968-69. Rough time and all away from home. We all deserve all the joy in the world. We just have to let it in. Thanks for stopping by. I’m a bit behind but that’s typical of me and more so this time of year. Happy Christmas to you and yours.

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  15. Delightful and so creative! You make the place cheerier Marlene 💕

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  16. You doors and hallways look wonderful – thanks for sharing

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    • Thanks for stopping by, Catherine. This is the busiest time of the year for me and I’m always glad to see it done so I can get back to reading other’s posts again. I’m even so far behind, I’m skipping free lunch for the next 2 days. I’ll eat a cookie or something after I bake it. 😉 They are gifts for my neighbors. Have a very Happy Christmas, Catherine.

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  17. Thanks for all the cheer, Marlene! I loved seeing all the photos. People helping each other is how it oughta be, don’t you think? And all year around.

    Living with my cousins still, I don’t really decorate. They have their ways and enjoy that. But I do have a wee wire angel hanging on a vine wreath I made back when Mum and I lived in her house. The vine was tangled up in the hedge out front and now I’m glad I saved some of it. I also have a small Christmas arrangement a friend gave me a couple of years ago.

    But Christmas is in my heart and that matters most. I’ve been knitting slippers for my cousin in Norway and for my oldest sister and her two grandsons when they visit her. These are the traditional Norwegian red with a white pattern and have turned out rather nice, I think. I’ll make a pair for me once we get past the holidays.

    I may do a bit of baking this week, but we’ll see.

    As my middle sister used to say, “Why didn’t someone tell me Christmas was coming? I would have been ready!!”

    I’m glad to hear that you are doing well and being your usual loving self. You are a great inspiration to me and, I know, to many others.

    Warm hugs from ‘up north’. I’m sending you an email, so as to keep this a bit more manageable. ~ Linne

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    • I’m happy to hear from you, Linne. I have your e-mail and have a couple photos I took this morning to try and help you with WP. I’ll send them on in a bit. I’m NEVER ready for Christmas! So far behind I can see my derriere in front of me. Going to put some banana bread in the oven and then finish 2 more hearts. Tomorrow will be 2 t-shirts while pumpkin bread bakes. I do this to myself. My own worst enemy. Thanks for keeping in touch. Till later. M

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      • Thanks so much, Marlene. I know you explained some stuff re: WP quite a while ago, but it seems to have changed again . . . so any help will be much appreciated and no rush on it, either. It’ll happen when it happens . . .
        I seem to have a strong attraction to deadlines, for some reason. So often find myself feeling overwhelmed at the last minute when I could have been prepared. Still working on that one.
        Your hearts have inspired me and I have 38+ fat quarters here, with the 38 washed and ironed, ready to cut out. I will likely make some hearts, but I have another idea, too. More to come . . .
        Thinking of you all the time.
        Sending warm hugs and much love.
        ~ Linne

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      • Looking forward to the ‘more to come’ part.

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  18. You have found a delightful community, Marlene but you also are a person who sees the silver lining so I would expect nothing less than this lovely post seeing all the adjustments that we can make the best of. I love the Charlie Brown Christmas tree and that you have a bucket of treats that make up a new wife! Or is it new life? Either way, I don’t want any presents this year, I just want to have a lovely day and see my son and children happy and share a nice meal. That is the best gift ever.

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    • At 87, Everette is making it as clear as possible to some that another wife is not high on his bucket list. He’s a nice man who enjoys a simple life. I am of the same mind. I always enjoy a nice conversation but would never entertain the possibility of another partner. I guess he’s had to make it more clear over the years since his wife passed. Many of us add to the bucket of treats when he’s not looking. He can’t afford to keep filling it for the neighbors but his heart is in the right place. Thanks for stopping by, Amanda.

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      • That is lovely that you sneakily fill the bucket. I totally get that he is not on the lookout for another partner. I feel likewise if the M.o.t.h. passes before I do.

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      • You are still young yet and I’m of the understanding that if you were in a good marriage, you will be likely to repeat that, if you were in a troubled one, not so likely to dive in again.

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      • That is probably true but I don’t think I could be bothered adjusting to living with another persom again and all their potential idiosyncrasies. It would be enough to have a companion at weekends, I think. But I am quite self-contained, being an introvert. I am sure extroverts would be keen to try again and feel.the pain of loneliness more acutely.

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  19. I’m one of those who has started leaving my tree up all year long, but I do change out the ornaments. At Easter, I have little bird and flower and butterfly ornaments. The lights stay up in our sun room as well. I started doing that during our COVID lockdown when things seemed so dark, and I just needed some light to cheer me up!

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    • I love the idea as well but with my sewing and library taking up so much space in this 700 sq ft apt, I’d have to hang it off the ceiling unless I keep it outside. I’ve been collecting patterns for seasonal ornaments just in case I find a place for the tree though. Lights on the tree do help ease depression. I’d love to see photos of how you decorate your tree seasonally for inspiration. Thanks for the visit and Merry Christmas, Debi.

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  20. Oh wow Marlene… what a fun and happy post this is…. So wonderful to see each little area decorated and you each making your own creative ideas and gifts etc….
    Love the laughs and the Charlie Brown Tree… LOL…..
    I bet when you are all together you have a Hoot of a time… 🙂
    I know the initial move was a difficult one in which you have had to adjust into your smaller space…
    But it looks like you have really settled in and are helping create others more smiles in their happy spaces…

    Wishing you a wonderful and Happy Christmas Marlene…. Loved your creations all of them…
    Lots of Hugs and well wishes for a Magical fun time, and a very Happy New year….
    Hugs Sue xx ✨🎄🎅🎁🎄✨💖

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks so much, Sue. I’ve added to the hallway decor already since my son came to help me hang my quilts out there. There is no place inside. I’m determined to keep my attitude positive by helping others do the same. It’s the best way. I’ve been making treats and giving them away to neighbors as always. Sending all the holiday cheer that will fit through the internet wires and wishing you a very happy holiday. Lots of hugs. M

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  21. So glad I read this today. Just what I needed. Have a very Merry Christmas with your new friends.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I might have been thinking of you a little when I wrote it. We are all adjusting to a different kind of Christmas. Another resident here lost her husband last year as well so we are doing our best to help her through. It’s often hard to stay positive in those quiet moments alone. Happy Christmas to you, Cathy and a wonderfilled 2023.

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  22. I want to read this one again, Marlene. You have filled it with so many good things. The images of your world, the red feeder in the snow is so Christmassy! Even though I’m sure it’s a year-round feeder. The things your neighbors do, and how you notice them. Your secret ways of adding magic to the halls. You are just the most wonderful person. ❤ The quote at the end is marvelous, and your quote at the beginning is equally wonderful: Adjustment is a form of creativity. It is! And we are forced to choose how we will adjust, but the choosing comes from within and we have that opportunity to use our power. I've never even thought of adjustment like that, and I appreciate that you sent my brain that way. Well, I'm off to share Christmas with Pedro and then Kellen and Cameron, and then Pedro's kids Andre and Liam. It should be good. Hugs and love to you. ~Crystal

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    • I’m happy it resonated with you, Crystal. You are changing your holiday almost yearly so you know exactly what I’m speaking about. Thanks for the visit on your busy holiday schedule. I spent it with TS and his extended family of sorts. Lovely and exhausting. Will touch base again shortly. I haven’t forgotten. 🙂 Always in my heart. Christmas hugs.

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  23. I wanted to make a moment to wish you a lovely Christmas, Marlene.

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  24. Oh, Marlene. This is a perfect read before I go to bed on Christmas night. You are the Spirit of Christmas. You are the one who sees joy, and faces change and new challenges, with a can-do attitude. Thank you for inspiring me when I am tired and need a little spirit. Thank you for being you. Merry Christmas!

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    • I’m happy this resonated for you, Jennie. You sound like I felt last night after a very full Christmas day. Was asleep by 8:30 p.m. A very different Christmas but I still find ways to incorporate some traditions and also ways to let go of things that just drain my battery. That’s the hardest one. We expect so much from ourselves and as we age and slow down, it’s hard to accept that something has to give. I’m so far behind on blog reading that I’m going to take some time after Christmas is all put away to get caught up before I start writing my memoir. The clock is ticking. 🙂 Hugs

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      • We’re on the same page, Marlene! It is hard to do it all, but we try, and then we are ‘spent’. Sigh! I’m catching up on blog reading, and then working on my query letter this week. Charles French thinks I should put my children’s books aside and write my memoirs. Yikes! So…I may try. I’m thrilled that you plan to write your memoir!!! Yes, the clock is ticking. Now that you’re settled in your new place, and the holidays are behind you, it sounds like the perfect time to get started. I’m excited for you! 😀

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      • I’m in full agreement with Dr. French. He’s a wise man and I admire him greatly. I’ve started with a few YouTube videos to get me going. I started with Kelly Notaras and she recommended an exercise call 100 moments. You make a list of 100 moments in your life that were significant and just list them quickly. The kids give me journals for holidays so I have boxes full. I write every day in them. You have a lot to share with other adults who will share that with children. You can do both without a doubt. Hugs and Happy New Year. I’ll do mine this year.

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      • Thanks, Marlene!! We both have a journey ahead. 😍

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  25. Your post here embodies the true spirit of Christmas – loving your fellow human beings, empathic to what each go through during the holidays (sooo hard for some) and using your talents to uplift others. Your blog does that as well, Marlene. THANK you and Happy New Year. I also want to say you should promote the book Golden Wisdom of Love Legends and Legacies a bit more, which includes one of your stories. I LOVED it and reviewed it on Amazon and Goodreads. xo

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    • I’m trying to figure out how to do just that. Hoping my son will finally have some time to do tech support and give me a hand with that. I’m delighted you liked the book. I still haven’t read all the stories but LOVED forward. It’s really hard to watch so many that live here struggle so much and not feel guilty that I’m managing well enough. I just do what I can or what gets put in front of me. It’s how I’ve lived my life. Thank you for your kind words, Pam. Happy New year to you and yours.

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  26. I think the doors and hall look lovely (as does your apartment)! 🙂 We had to completely change our Christmas traditions when we moved to Texas. It was simply too depressing to try and emulate the things we had done with our families. We have come up with some simpler, cozy and fun traditions. I will say that it has made the holidays much less stressful!

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  27. Oh, Marlene! It’s easy to see that you have become a very special part of your senior community. The smallest acts of kindness you share truly make others happy. I love your creative spirit, dear heart!
    Happy, Healthy New Year, Marlene!

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  28. “Adjustment is also a form of creativity,” yes! 😊 Too many of us are stuck in our ways and beliefs and are crystalized like ice. Then many become hard, calloused, and cold.

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    • I see the hardness all the time. I think the yanking around of a military family life helped me learn to be flexible and adaptable. When we don’t get what we want, we learn to adjust and appreciate what we do have. Thanks for stopping by, Tom.

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